life has a funny way of teaching us a lesson:

it offers you multiple one way doors for you to choose which one to go in.

even if you don’t know what’s inside of those doors,
you keep opening them.

you hope for the best every time
you turn the hinge,
you slide the panel,
you push the glass,
that life would give you the best
even if you ever so slightly expect for the worst.

to some,
opening the next door is a surprise,
to others,
it’s another impending doom.

to some,
they are surprised with what they had hoped for.
to others,
they are welcomed with an empty room, and another set of doors.

to some,
it’s their last: filled with everything they had achieved from the previous rooms they have been on displayed in every wall with great detail and accomplishment.
to others,
it’s their last: filled with nothing but white, cracked, and empty walls.

some
continue to stay in one room they feel safe.
others
keep on trying.

life has a funny way of teaching us a lesson:

it keeps those doors unlocked.
it gives the room enough space for you to breathe, take a little bit of rest.
it always hangs a sign in every door,
“open me.”
it always pushes you to keep moving.
no matter how beautiful the room you are in,
it still asks you to open more doors.
it allows you to
reminisce,
remember,
recall,
but never look back.

now,
face front, you.
look,
there’s another set of doors for you to pick.

“you deserve to be loved.”

upon hearing
those words,
tears
started
falling.

it’s
painful
when
your
past experiences
don’t see your worth.

when they do,
it’s always too late.

hearing those words again
coming from someone new
who likes me,
breaks the whole **** dam
of tears
i’ve been trying to suppress.

i know i do.
i deserve to be loved.
however,
as much
as i
want to love again,
i’d have to finish
drying up
the lake
i created from the past.

once it’s dry,
i can finally make
something new
out of it.

there are monsters everywhere.

no,

i’m not talking about
those under your bed,
those waiting for you in the dark,
those hanging on the branches of the trees,
those staring at you when you sleep,

no.

not those monsters.

i’m talking about
those who destroy your good mood,
those who bring you down in every mistake you make,
those who always look for a flaw in whatever you do,
those who make you feel sorry for ever being here.

those monsters.

but just like the monsters you imagine

— they are all in your head.

you can ignore them
and see that those monsters,
are ever so small;
so easy to trample,
so easy to destroy.

i wish our love was

a phoenix

that dies;

turns to ashes,

then revives

again.