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J Feb 2018
When I was 24,
This was the girl
I dreamt of,
Coming in like a steam train,
And change my everything.

Now at 29,
You came in and fit into my hand,
Like it was there before,
But less than a month,
I am back to never have met you.

If you were older,
If I was younger,
We just might... have made it,
But you need time,
And I need patience.

But I can't spend,
5 years writing and waiting,
For someone who won't come back,
So I will end this,
The way "The One" ended it,
all those years ago.

Timing is a *****
5 years of looking for this kind of person. But now I have grown, I know this isn't what I want anymore
J Feb 2018
I wish I could be,
Like everyone else,
Not have feelings,
But have this backup.

Knowing that I **** up,
With someone new,
My backup will be there,
From time to time...

That's cool,
Until I think of,
Who is kissing you,
And who wakes up next to you.
J Jan 2018
Why are you there?
For someone 15,000 miles away?
Why couldn't it have been me?
I'm so done,
I don't understand,
4 years I could have spent, better off.
I don't hate you.
But I'm done
J Jan 2018
I'm glad you were there
We didn't last but
The times we had
I was glad
J Nov 2017
A pretty face
Then my wall goes down
That's all it takes...

I feel like centuries
Have gone by
But it's been days...

I'm not build for this world
I fall deep and hard
And end up being the fool
J Sep 2017
I hate being me
I'm not ugly
I'm not pretty either

Everyone I meet
I assume I am not enough
And become a friend

But when someone is there
I become this shell of a man
And become the guy I hate to be

The guy who will
Do anything to
Be with you

Put my rules
And personality aside
And become a mess
I am so bad at dating
J Sep 2017
I often think
About what I was
For you

To come back
As if
No time had passed

A little pick me up
When you felt alone
Or just to **** time

It's my fault
For letting you do
What you did

But I should have said
And if I did
Who knows

Maybe we would
Call it
Our bed
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