All these petty games and somehow I’m not completely insane.
If I could rid this world of you people I think there would be hope for better days.
You can’t live your life feeding on the weak, reeking of havoc and greed.
I still don’t see any point to your lies and games because you people just can’t see.
If selfish hearts continue to be in control, it’s only a matter of time until something more ugly unfolds.
So what’s next in this web of lies?
Who’s next? Who’s not wearing a disguise?
So as I try not to suffer completely, I’ll try to focus less on the fact that I won’t be leaving.
But this towns disease is spreading like cancer.
I wish I could find it in me to figure out some better answers.

Taking a trip down memory lane.
This all feels like some sick game.
And even i'm one to blame.
For falling through the cracks, i guess everyone's more or less the same.

I've been wishing on stars for a better start.
Hoping i won't fall apart.
How do i get back the love in my heart?
I'm left with damaged lungs and i'm not very smart.

So as i think about all of my mistakes,
Wishing i could fix them and change my fate.
I'm realizing that i'm a few years too late.
So i'll try to have more than false hope, maybe then they'll let me past the gate.

You stumbled back into my life and it felt like old times.
Maybe the beginning was a little rocky but it was nice to see you smile.
But my life is like a scale, always weighing down to one side.
And now I’m left fearing my demise.
If I had one wish I would get my soul back.
And try to gain all the things I lack.
So in these passing days I’ll try to feel alive,
And try not to think about my lack of time.
I guess all I can do is live in the moment,
as I try to be a better poet.

So tear my chest open and see if I have a heart worth saving. People come and people go, always changing their mask.
Are they wearing one? I know you took yours off and burned it in the wreckage of your old self. But who is this new you?
What are you hiding now? Is it the loneliness that keeps finding it's way back? Or the brokenness that never ceases to appear when times get tough.
Well if what you're looking for is real, peer into my eyes, into my soul. Tell me who you see. I can't tell if it's even me.
So as I make my way through the wreckage of my life, I only hope to find the pieces that make me whole. And maybe, if I'm lucky, a soul worth sticking around for.

When life is conspiring against you how do you figure it out?
Things have changed too much and now you're filled with doubt.
When they take everything that made you who you are, how do you get out and find a fresh start?
But life keeps knocking you down,
And you've lost all of your heart.
So why don't I just take that final leap?
There's nothing in this world that I could ever keep.
Sometimes it's worse than it seems.
So I try to hide in my dreams.
But there's nothing left in this life for me.
No hope to find a key.
So I guess in the time I have left I'll try not to be such a mess.
As I try to deal with all of this distress.
As I try to prolong tying the noose around my neck.

When you lose the ability to feel,
You wonder if you're losing yourself.
Will you survive the drought?
I know you're sitting here filled with doubt,
But do you have the strength to overcome?
I think i'm mostly numb.
And most times i come off as dumb.
But when it's hard to decipher your thoughts,
It's hard to leave everything you've fought.
So how do you find the truest version of you?
I know you don't want to continue,
Because they keep changing your shoes.
So how do you get yourself back?
It's everything that you lack.
How can you survive based on all of the lies?
Where do you go where you don't need a noose around your throat?
Just try not to choke on all of the lies along with their disguise.
And try to find yourself while you hope you won't run out of time.

And as time goes by I can only hope for someone to love.
As time runs out I can feel myself fading.
It's something that I might have trouble escaping.
As the days go by I find myself wishing I was enough.
But from what's going on I doubt I'll ever feel your touch.
So as I keep slipping away from reality, I'll just try not to think of my mortality.

The burdens are louder than thunder.
The blows ignite in lightning.
Why the **** am I always fighting.
I hate how all of this is one sided.
It leaves me so blinded.
If there is truth left I'll find it, and you people will never stop hiding it.
But when the tides cease I'll hope I can find me.

In a well orchestrated reality, how am i supposed to have the right mentality?
The end for me seems to be near.
And how i got here is becoming clear.
Who am i now that i don't wish for anyone to be near?
I guess i'll always be fragile.
If only i could learn to be a little more agile.
But now i'm stuck in this sequence.
It seems that everything is becoming my weakness.
Maybe i need someone to keep in my heart.
I guess i lied because i know love has always been the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
But everyone seems to be turning into shadows of faces i once knew.
Who knew my life would turn into such a disappointing hue?
What to do now? I really don't have a clue.
I guess i'll try to hold back the negativity as i try out these new shoes.

Images of you are haunting my thoughts.
**** them all I’m nothing but distraught.
Terrors from my nightmares are haunting the room.
How much longer before I’m consumed?
I guess now I want to rid you from my life.
How much longer until I reach for the knife?
Just let the warm stream flow down my arm.
But I know I’m only looking for harm.
I guess this life was never meant for me.
And there’s no way in hell you were ever the key.
I don’t even have my sanity.
So just let me fade away completely.

There was never room for animal instincts.
You people are ******* idiots if you think primal means everlasting.
You ******* idiots need to use your ******* ******* brains and stop thinking you're superior because you know more reverse psychology.
What did this mess cause? A means to a ******* end.
And everyone's left belligerent and brain dead.
You're all drowning in your narcissism and no one can win.
Because you're all so ******* quick to fill your selfish needs and greed and your disgustingly entitled dread.

This distorted chaotic web of lies that is somehow life sickens me.
I wish nothing but the worst for the people who did and planned this mess.
But that doesn’t stop the burdens that you people put onto others, or your snide powertripping personas. What’s left of life is a hoax. And as long as you people play god, the devil or whatever the hell it is, life will be tarnished and there will be nothing left but this stupid conspiracy that the entitled and selfish caused. So to you all, here’s one last *******.

Somehow i'm still breathing and i don't know why.
I feel as though i'm running out of time.
Just hoping maybe someday i can call someone mine.
But something deep inside me wants me to die.
So as i sit here wishing for the storm to end,
I'll just focus on being me and trying to mend.
I don't know if i can do this, everything feels pretend.
But heaven knows it won't get better unless i'm graced with a godsend.

Life is nothing but belligerence and deceit.
All that's left are everyone's slimy and bigoted feet.
So when the **** will people leave me to find my own form of peace?
******* all to hell, I'm sick of you peoples pathetically orchestrated fallacy.

Trapped in this vessel day after day, I'm so sick and tired of everyone's face.
If I could think of a way to get slain, I'd take that over you peoples belligerent and petty pain.
You're all so selfish but what's left to take?
Everything's gone and everything's at stake.
So ******* all to hell I hope it's mortifying.
I can't go a day without thinking about dying
So while you people gloat in your stolen glory, I'll just wish that you people reach your end in this God forsaken story.

Surrounded by ignorance everywhere i go.
Its your minds you've wasted, and there's nothing but foes.
I don't care where this path goes I just want my life to end.
Just be done with your pettiness, because its you people who caused my life to end.

To the entitled, there's no need to take from others.
Why play pity to get what you want when you can do more?
Why belittle people to "be" or feel superior.
If it wasn't yours in the first place, then you shouldn't glorify yourself in what someone else took.
Modesty is not the best policy.
There's no sense in being modest when people are watching if you're going to over glorify yourself when certain people are around.
Why make people suffer just because you want power?
Why make people live in vain for what you want your life to be?
I have no answers that you people would accept.
Why?
You people make me suffer in vain while you all bask in stolen glory, belitting others.
And I'm stuck trying to find a humane way out.
And none of anything that's happened will ever make any of this in any way; justifiable.

As you people keep up this delusional web of petty nonsense.
I'll wonder why everything is so tainted, and what's with these stupid tests.
If they were never involved then what sense does this bigotry solve?
I guess I may not have been wrong.
But that doesn't mean you have full power on everything that goes on.
So as you're all blinded by your ignorance, I'll just keep hoping you all drop dead.
Because all of this despicable fuckery leaves people with mostly dread.

**** everyones belligerence.
I'll never be sane.
I'm sick of your ignorance and your petty senseless games.
You people make life hard when you were always all yo blame.
Leave people alone.
Don't keep then on your pompous page.
I know this will never end because you're entitled.
Just leave me the hell alone because you peoples always find a way to be one sided.

**** your petty lives and everything you all stand for.
Life is nothing but deception, and making life a chore.
But if life let the tides change, it would be your faces that I'd rearrange.
So **** this place and every face I've known.
You people think you're doing me a favor by listening to what you all caused. But you all deserve the saw.
So in these passing days ill try to let go.
But if I had it my way, there would be seldom mercy to show.

Keep getting dragged down into the abyss.
I know my time is coming and i know i won't be missed.
How the **** did i end up in the middle of all of this?
This is all something of remiss.

So how do i find a better road to take?
No matter where i go i can't find an escape.
People trying to get back in but i closed the gate.
I want to trust someone, anyone.. But i feel like it's too late.
Is there anywhere left to go? Or is this just my fate?
I wish i could start over with a clean blank slate.

So as i try not to get consumed in this petty tragedy,
I'll accept that there never was and maybe never will be a key.
Maybe now i can try to regain my sanity,
As i try my best to be free.

My life is a mess.
Is it just mine?
Or are there others suffering like me?
**** this petty *******.
I guess it doesn’t matter what I see.
It’s something I have a hard time trying to conceive.
Why does it always have to be about me?
I’m sure I’m not the only way who mourns this way with no will to play.
So why is life like a game?
I’m slowly going insane.
And I’m too weak to fathom the coming days.
So why can’t I escape?
I guess it’s where the masquerade and loop want me to stay.
**** why can’t things just work out.
Life isn’t a joke, there’s a reason for hope.
I guess it’s only a matter of time till I choke.
I just wish there were another way to make people see, that life could be better for everyone, and if I’m lucky maybe even me.

Day after day, I'm sick of these games.
And the way everything's manipulated so you people get your way.
So what the **** is with this charade?
It doesn't get anyone anywhere and there's too much hate just lock the gate and let me ******* escape.

It seems you’ve strung together a handful of lies.
It was never me wearing a disguise.
My mind keeps me believing it was all just a beautiful lie.
But now the truth is unfolding and all I can do is hide.
You said it never happened, but the memories are real.
I guess now all I can do is forget about you and heal.

Life lost.
Lack of humanity.
There is no sanity.
You people are consumed with narcism and vanity.
There's nowhere to go but up.
But life is too much and I'll just get dragged further into the pit.
I have lost all mercy and don't care if there's a place to sit.
Life feels bewitched.
Can't shake the hate.
I'll never escape these harsh tides.
So don't blame me if I don't want to ever see the sun rise.

Why did I ever care?
No one was ever really there.
My whole existence is planned out.
That’s why no one truly cares.
And all everyone hoped was for me to stay oblivious and never find out.
I guess I’ll always be filled with doubt.
I just wish there was literally any way out.
So I guess that’s why they burdened me with all of these disorders.
It’s clear that this life has no order.
I find it sickening that life is really this ******.
I don’t care whose side they’re on cause I’ve had enough.
It’s so misconstrued when I call their bluffs.
The truth is distorted, will they ever get enough?
Why is everything about evil and greed?
Blinded by hate because no one ever sees.
Why doesn’t anyone care about all of humanity.
They say life isn’t fair but when you’re suffering you can find it hard to see.
Being unbiased has faded away, and for me there’s no hope for a brighter shade.
So **** the masquerade because they feed on the weak.
all they care about is power, evil and greed.
Maybe they don’t see, but I think they’re all corrupt.
**** it all because life has turned into a cesspool of people fiending over corrupted lust.

What’s the point of sadistic suffering?
It’s lies that you’ve all been muttering.
You claim to be elite, it’s something I can’t conceive.
Who gets joy out of making the miserable grieve?
So as you continue to spin your web of unjust chaos, I’ll start to wonder about how much I’ve lost.
Just because you people do whatever it is to get what you want at all costs.
This is a despicable mess and what you people do is so undeniably wrong that I’d **** you to hell for the hellhole for me you’ve dug.

While you all weasel your way into my being, I realize it's nothing no sane person could ever fathom seeing.
All of this ******* is hard to keep believing.
I don't understand how your cult like alliance never fails to stop.
It's been so long and I've had more than enough.
If you live your life ******* up others, then where do you stand?
Choosing peoples impossible hands should not be your master plan.
So as I realize that I could give and did give and it still wasn't enough, you people will always have the hate in my heart because you all so selfishly tore my life apart.

It seems i've been smiling more in these passing days.
But i can't help but hoping that i can escape.
At least i'm beginning to remember to dream.
It makes reality a little easier on my feet.
Even if i do have mostly nightmares,
And life doesn't always seem fair.
Sometimes i'll find someone who gives me hope.
And keeps my from wanting to jump with the rope.
If only i could find someone who felt the same way.
But feelings are fleeting and always seem to find a way to escape.
Maybe i have trouble getting close.
So why do i muster up so much hope?
I don't know where i'm going or who i'll find along the way.
But i really hope i find someone who wants to stay.
Maybe then i'll finally be free.
And try to live life the way it's meant to be.

With all the parasites feeding on my life, I want to end it all and let their petty torment lead their throats to the knife.
I can’t take their plans and this isn’t where I want to stand.
And with their blinded eyes and minds this makes an impossible hand. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to demolish them for their demands. So ******* all and your selfish plans. This isn’t life. It’s a contorted hoax of you peoples corrupted hands.

So i guess i'm the bad guy.
Hiding from the masquerade, they play night and day.
But when will things turn to a brighter shade?
I don't know if i'll ever be okay.
At least i'm more or less sane.
But i just want to run away.
Keep my eyes set on the skyline, not keeping track of time.
Try to live a life that's truly mine.
But is there enough time?
I've lived my life fearing my demise.
So i spend most of my time trying to break free or hide.
Well, i guess when the plot leads me into thinking i'm doomed i think i just need to see life in a different hue, but there's little hope to continue.
I just wish i knew what to do, but i can't find my shoes.

Maybe feeling down isn’t a shade of grey, maybe your soul is growing and you’ll find a new way.
But that doesn’t stop me from not wanting to be alone.
I think I’d shine brighter if I had another to hold.
So as I hold my memories dear.
I’ll try not to think about the fact that no one is near.
Maybe one day I’ll have galaxies behind my eyes.
But until then I’ll try to feel more love as I try not to hide.

Acting like people are beneath you won’t get you very far.
Maybe that’s why this town is like a cult of an army, stealing things from others to reach the stars.
But you can’t go your whole life disregarding everyone else.
Just because you’re not happy with who you are doesn’t mean to contort what isn’t yours with nothing but your hate and doubts and no reasoning to what it’s for.
So as I hope people will see that misconstrued plots are no way to live, I’ll hope they stop using me as their ploy just to get to where they want to sit.
How long will this go on until they finally see, if you work on yourself first you’ll be all you’ll ever need.

All this time I’ve been standing alone.
I just wish I could find someone to call home.
But this life is breaking me, and I’m getting such brittle bones.

Sometimes death seems like it lingers.
But I just want to be free.
There’s too much working against me.
And nothing is ever as it seems.
So why do they ignore my pleas?
They took it too far and I ****** up.
So what else is falling apart at the seams?
If I could fix this mess I would do it in a heartbeat.
But I’m inept and stuck strapped down in this seat.
It’s like everything gets ripped out from under my feet.
And it gets harder everyday to be the person I feel is me.
So as I try to get out of the crossfire,
I’ll hope that things don’t get too dire.
As I try to get out of the grasp of all the thieves and liars.

Why did ****** do what he did?
My life is like a personal holocaust.
But instead of mass murders with gas, they ripped my life out of my being.
And my whole existence is so deceiving.
I can hardly ever catch a break.
Everyone involved whose doing this is so ******* fake.
How can I find anyone to trust in this mess?
I lost it all and they’re so thrilled with the torment and never really give it a rest.
So how do I rebuild? There’s nothing that’s mine inside of this vessel.
If it is someone else is using it, my life is turning into a distorted wrestle.
will I ever get myself back?
I just want to regain all the things that I lack.
But there’s almost nothing left.
I’m past just a mess.
I guess most of the time I seem fine.
But the fuckery is immense and sometimes leaves me feeling like I have to end my life.
Planted seeds of hate are all around.
And I know I’ll never get used to the sound.
I already hit the ground, the minute I got here there was no way out.
So what the **** was the point of making me their slave.
They just make me feel content so everything seems okay.
What happened to the feelings that I used to never be able to face?
I’ve been suffering for so long but instead of this fake nonsense I’d take the pain of suffering in place.
What happened to my soul?
Even that’s misconstrued and life has already taken its toll.
An existence strewn together with all of these disorders.
I was born into being stuck in a corner.
My childhood was torture, a complete living hell.
If I could just be me that would be ideal so maybe I wouldn’t really dwell.
And now it’s back to the torture because I’ll never be able to take it.
Day after day for 11 months and I can still barely face it.
What is with people who are only out to get people?
I used to be good but now I’m so unstable.
Feelings and soul are what make you, you.
Why did they go this far, there’s nothing I can even do...

I guess it’s better to hate and be hated, than try to make amends because no one would let me change this.
Why the **** would I crawl back to the ones who did this to me?
It’s all such a twisted cycle ran by fear and greed.
So I guess all the seeds of hate that you planted worked.
I hope everyone rots and I want it to hurt.
I used to think all of this was something never deserved.
But the majority of my existence seems like some people deserve the worst.
And I’m not golden either because I turned out this way.
But believe me when I say I will never again pray for another way.
This was the pettiest torment I’ve ever experienced.
I’d rather burn in hell or get tortured in notre dame.
I guess I was right because everyone’s the same.
******* people over until they have it their way.
Just rot in ******* hell or get tortured all the same.

Living my life as a slave.
This is all so petty, what’s with all the games?
I just wish I could get out of this mess.
It’s more intricate than it seems so I guess that’s why everyone leaves.
It’s something I can’t even conceive.
So why does it seem like it never ends?
My life is falling apart and I can’t make amends.
I just hope none of this ever happens again.
There’s no hope for me because everything always feels pretend.
So I guess this is it because there are too many deadly bends.

The days are getting longer as I’m dragging my lifeless corpse around.
What’s left in this chaos? Will there ever be a change in the sound?
I guess it’s not as bad as I think, but this petty tragedy is getting old.
**** what I would give to get back all of my soul.
The pit keeps getting deeper with illusions of getting out.
I’ve had it with this **** but I’m starting to have less doubt.
So where do I go to try to find some relief?
I’m filling up with hate and not to mention grief.
What’s the point in moving forward when I’m always being pushed back?
They’re ******* everything out of me, how do I gain what I lack?
Will I ever get it back?
So as I try to muster up any will to live I have left.
I’ll try to appreciate more the heart beating in my chest.

My life is falling apart at the seams.
It’s much worse than anyone else perceives.
My soul once vibrant is turning cold and black.
Oh what I would give to get back all the things that I lack.
What would I have to do to fix my crumbling world.
I always had hope for something beautiful to unfurl.
But as time goes by life gets worse and worse.
I’m not sure what happened but somehow none of this hurts.
Trying to find the courage to get up and get out.
But I’m stuck in this sequence with too much doubt.
If I could find the strength to put myself back together, maybe I’d be able to change the weather.
But until I can make myself whole again, I’ll try to get my life back and never come back here again.

The chaos never ceases to unfold.
There is no ideal mould.
Life grew too cold.
And there's seldom mercy they show.
There's nothing for me that the future holds.
So I guess that's why I'm left with just growing old.

At my last end.
The lies never cease, everything's pretend.
Why did I ever care about meaning or friends?
It's clear life is belligerent and there was never hope to mend.
So in these last few moments I hope there won't be too much pain.
But I've had it with you peoples ignorance and your will to driving me completely insane.

With so many rain clouds rolling through my mind I’m lost because you’re not trying to hide.
I guess more often than not I find myself wanting to be by your side.
So why won’t death release me from its grasp?
I think I might have found a happiness with the potential to last.
The winds may blow, but somehow for you my feelings always show.
Please don’t let go.

I don’t know what happened to my being.
Without the pain of a tormented life I can’t handle breathing.
It’s something that’s hard to keep conceiving, but why is every part of myself fleeting?
I don’t know how to gain what I once felt.
At least I feel more than just a shell.
But that doesn’t keep me from starting to dwell.
No one can go through this demented race, with their being so torn that it’s not even their true face.
So why do they keep it going?
It’s all lies that are unfolding.
Where the **** am I even going?
There’s no hope that’s showing.
I just want to feel the blade because death is the only salvation I’ll probably ever end up knowing.

Life is horrendously despicable because of all these petty bigoted games.
Why drive decent people insane, because you’re stuck in your petty sadistic belligerent ways?
I tried to get of the page, but everyone’s pretty much the ******* same.
******* all to hell.
I’m tired of all of these ******* rules and the way you plan my days.

Fragments of my mind, shattered and scattered in the void.
What’s going on? Do I even have a choice?
I don’t know where am going, and I’ve lost my voice.
I feel misused like an old and abandoned toy.
Is there hope to get up? I don’t know if there’s stable ground.
My life has been collapsing and I can’t get used to the sound.
So what if I could get up, and put myself back together?
Do you think I would have more than these carefully typed out letters?
I don’t know which road to take, but somehow something always goes wrong.
I guess I just need to learn to find comfort in the melodies of the songs.

No wonder in my days.
I'll never get off this page.
Life will never shine.
I guess I ran out of time.

Why is life becoming so vain?
The belligerence is driving me insane.
I'm sick and tired of you people and you games.
There are other ways but you people are to entitled in your ways.
You don't have control over other people's lives.
But you do it anyway and lead them to the knife.
I desperately need to end my life.
Because you people are so petty that nothing will ever be alright.

Life has it's doubts but this isn't the way it should turn out.
Maybe the conspiracy is coming to an end.
But the way things are going people need more of a godsend.
I know things took a turn for the worst, but that doesn't stop the masses from putting themselves first.
You can't live life wanting to destroy everything in sight.
Or wish to fade away into the night.
So to those who have lost, i'll wish you return.
And for the ones who got trapped, don't expect things to stand still.
Maybe things can go deeper if you will.
But that doesn't mean time has to stand still.
To each end there's a new beginning.
Life is humanity everyone deserves to be winning.

It hurts that you want to purge me from your life.
I guess there’s no telling what I’ll do with the knife.
Something tells me you hold nothing but hate for me.
I guess this was all wrong and we were really never meant to be.
I still wish we could still communicate through our poetry.
But as far as life goes, I’m down and out and just trying to keep my sanity.