Will I keep walking down this path alone? I can’t tell if what’s coming back to life is my heart of stone. My bones can’t withstand the cold. And I don’t know if I’ll ever find my way home.

The sky is turning black and cold.
I never fit into my ideal mould.
I don't know what's to come but it's the end of this life.
Why did i ever turn to the knife?
There's no way i can escape, so this is what's at stake,
My precious little girl wandering into a world filled with hate.

When your whole existence is some sick charade, you get so ******* tired of the games they play.
Sometimes it gets better, but they never let you be okay.
Why does my life have to be a masquerade?
It seems everyone ends up being a renegade.

So how do I get up and try to feel something that’s mine?
I never knew it was so easy to run out of time.
So why am I always fearing my demise?
I guess it’s because for most of my life I’ve been mostly blind.

Friendly faces all around with ulterior motives.
All of this feels more or less erosive.
And I’m so far gone that I could care less about closeness.
The mess of my existence feels like a deep depth of the ocean.

So as I continue moving closer to the end.
I’ll stop hoping for a godsend.
Even though this mess was never truly only mine,
I’ll keep trying to make better use of my time.
While I keep trying to just feel.
Because there’s no way in hell I have it in me to fully heal.

The pain comes in times where i need it most.
But the rest of the time i'm numb, just thinking of ways to get the lost feelings back.
What if my fate is to drag around a lifeless body just searching for someone who understands me?
Well in this life there's no way to tell.
They say everything happens for a reason.
But could there ever be a reason to be stripped of everything that you are?
Is there meaning in taking someone's life from their grasp without giving it a second thought?
Well i guess some minds could justify what others would call cruel, or worse.
But until my time truly comes, i'll keep trying to be me.
Hoping i don't lose anymore feeling, as the rest of my life gets taken and locked away from out of my reach.

Can’t escape dying in vain.
I can’t stay the same and it’s driving me insane.
Why is life a ****** up game.
Tormenting who they “don’t like” for their own sick gain.
Nothing is ever supposed to stay the same.
Life is supposed to be a spiral not some twisted charade.
There’s no point to the ******* because they make everything seem true.
What’s the point of distorting reality.
It’s so contorted because people’s hearts or heads are filled with greed.
What happened to respect peace and harmony?
It’s like everyone forms their own alliances and it’s like some ****** up army.
So I guess that could mean it could turn into a more despicably vicious cycle.
I guess I’m not the one whose living in denial.
But I have no will to help what I can fathom.
So **** it I guess I’ll just succumb to the shadows.

Death is a fleeting friend.
And with that I don't want to handle it again.
So with this army of belligerent renegades,
It's clear that I'll never find a way to be saved.
It turns out I'm more or less a slave.
So why do I time and time again get tangled in their mess of a game?
I guess they can't be tamed, but at the same time why does all of this seem like an untimely fate?
It's a fact that these people will never learn their lesson.
So I guess I'll spend the rest of my days second guessing.

While you all eat your prey, I'll wonder why I'm the feed and that's probably why I'll never be okay.
But when it's all you do there is no sadism, only idiocy.
There's no point to this mess.
Just a petty conspiracy that ties me into this mess.
So why do you people need to have so much control?
It only leads people living with a lot more than sorrow.
If only this conspiracy would end tomorrow.
But all that anyone has is really only borrowed.
So I guess that's why there's no hope for tomorrow.

Falling down further into the pit. It doesn't matter where i sit. No longer feeling as deep as the ocean. Losing all of my devotion. This life of mine is so distorted. And i'm losing myself as i'm becoming so contorted.

I never wanted anyone's pity.
Maybe i was stuck in a trance for most of my life.
And maybe that's why i can't bear to take my own life.
But something in me wants to end it all.
Is it just me, or has it taken far too long for me to fall?
I don't know where i'm going and i can't take this anymore.
I'm growing too weak from carrying all this weight, how long before i get sore?
It's like i have a piece of almost everyone i've known.
And i guess it's time to reap what i've sewn.
But something tells me no one deserves a life like this.
I don't care anymore, i know i won't be missed.
So why can't i just let the abyss consume me?
I guess i just have to be strong and keep moving.
But where the hell is there left to go?
It can't be just me who hates being alone.
So i guess i'll have to muster up the courage to tie the noose around my throat.

Again it seems like i'll always be a loner.
As the days pass i'm getting more ****** up and not to mention colder.
I can't wait till all of this is over.
Tie the noose around my throat and take the final leap.
Things are far worse than perceived.
So tell me what's left in this life for me?
Hell knows that no one will grieve.
I just hope i can climb that tree.
Just so i can finally be at peace.
But what went so wrong that my life was always so unspeakably dreadful?
All of this is just so regrettable.
As everything keeps making itself clear in my mind,
I find myself wishing it was my time.
So i guess soon i'll just have to say goodbye.
Even though i never had anyone that stayed this time.
But the weight isn't so bad because i have no options left and it's helpless to try.

The fuckery never seems to end.
I can’t fix myself because none of the versions of me are on the mend.
So is this part of their master plan?
Everything is always my fault but this should never happen to anyone again.
What’s left in time? I’m in need of a way out.
Everything’s deceiving and there’s way too much doubt.
So as I hope to find a way out of this labrynth of a maze,
I’ll hope they stop hiding behind versions of me because I’m going insane.

Life is too vain and it's full of deceit.
You people do too many despicable things and it leaves others trapped underneath.
This life is like a cesspool, and you're all filled with greed.
I'd erase you all, to try to be free.
I've lost my sanity, it's all just a hoax.
You people make life feel like a horrendously ridiculous joke.
So as I try not to choke, I'll keep in mind that there was never any hope.
I've suffered too many of you peoples petty blows, to feel sorrow.
It's just a contorted mess and I'm only left with anger and woe.

Break my heart.
Let me know if it was beating in the first place.
Say my name one last time so I know it was real.
I know you don’t want me but how the **** am I supposed to heal?
No closure.
Just a lonely broken road.
And I’m no closer to finding a home.
Why did you have to go?
I have no more hope.
So let me tie the noose around my throat.

While you pick me apart day by day, and make sure there's no other way, I come to find there was never another page.
Because its a web of chaotic lies and your belligerent ways.
So why can't I pick out the seeds that you all planted?
This is a despicable mess and I'm the only one standing.
So what am I standing for?
A chance to escape.
But your greed filled ways and entitlement make it impossible to get away.
So while I hope that you all suffer worse, I'll wonder why life is a trap and it feels like only a curse.

I guess i should just embrace the hate emanating from me and towards me.
I guess the problem wasn't that i couldn't see.
It was probably the fact that everyone liked me losing my sanity.
When will my time be up?
I've had it with this ******* and i'm sure everyone else has also had enough.
I'm so ******* sick of calling everyone's bluffs.
Because it's so clear to me that nothing to anyone will ever be enough.

Everything’s been stripped away.
I’m still trapped in a cage.
Like a bird without wings.
Never seeing again the joy life brings.
So why is everything left ablaze?
I can’t get out of this catastrophic maze.
So is there another way?
With the rooks in my way and I’m just their pawn.
Will I ever hear a better song?
Whatever happens I know I’ll soon be gone.

Thrown aside like a wilted flower.
I guess it’s safe to say I’ve had enough.
But there’s no one near so I’ll never feel their touch.
Why can’t I be worth more?
Maybe then everyone wouldn’t shut the door.
But I’m running out of time.
So I guess I should just try to let the sun shine.

Searching inside for something i can't find.
Do i even have a heart inside?
How can someone go from feeling so much to so little?
Can you meet me somewhere in the middle?
I know i'll never be good enough to find someone to love.
So i'll keep inside the sounds of the mourning dove.
Why is it always pain and loneliness that follows me?
At least most times i still have my sanity.
So i'll keep my hopes folded up in my pocket.
And try not to lose the memories in my locket.
Maybe one day the light will shine through.
And i can muster up the courage to hold my head up and continue.

I'm a lifeless puppet, and the petty masquerade loves it.
******* all to hell.
I'll never get out of this shell.
I don't care if I dwell.
But it would be best if you'd never delve.
In these remaining days, I wish I could turn the page.
But I'm nowhere near sane.
And there isn't many other ways to get away.
**** anyone who thinks I want them near.
Because its nothing that I hold dear.
I'd rather wallow in my fear.
While you people sit there in vain to mess up my fate.
So its no wonder this is life.
**** it all pass me the knife.

Maybe as the days pass there could be hope.
But I still feel like I’m going to choke.
Maybe one day I’ll witness everything in bloom.
And not feel alone in a crowded room.
So as I muster up the strength to continue, I’ll try to find the right shoes, in hopes of living in a brighter hue.
As I try to feel something other than black and blue.

The days are blurring together, and i know i'll never find my favourite sweater.
The nights are becoming eerie with shades of black dancing with shadows.
What hides in the darkness?
Am i becoming more heartless?
I know i'm running out of time, and i can't stop thinking about my demise.
But the masquerade won the game, and i'm too weak too play this stupid game.
I know i won't make it another day.
I wish i could have changed my fate.
But this is it and i know nothing will ever change.

I'm sorry I couldn't give you the best I could muster up.
I tried to give you what you needed but I didn't have enough love.
I want the best for you and I know that might be hard.
But this life is deceiving, and more than just hard.
I hope you will always learn to smile even when you feel life is too much.
But I wish I could do more because everyone will probably make it tough.
I wanted to give you the entire world.
But there's nothing left to give, and It's my death that's going to unfurl.
So I can keep hoping that you'll live your best life.
But with peoples ugly characters they might try to lead your wrists to the knife.
I know this isn't what you want to hear.
But this is what my life is and I'm sorry for bringing you my dear.
But there's always hope to get out and live.
I hope you make it, because it's the best I couldn't give.

My heart and soul have been drawn out of my body.
I guess I need a new hobby.
My bones are withering away.
But I have this feeling that you won’t stay.
Everyone keeps leaving and locking the gate.
How do I always find myself feeling okay?
I hate just surviving. This isn’t living.
I always find that I’m far too forgiving.
So who am I now In this deceiving sequence?
Everyone knows that the concept of love has always been my weakness.
How the **** am I supposed to defeat this?
I have a feeling that whatever happens I won’t be missed.
What happened to all the time I spent trying to grow?
At least I’m not feeling only sorrow.
But now I feel nothing at all.
I guess my stumble turned into a crawl.

The blood isn’t rushing like it used to.
What am I supposed to do?
I miss the warm rush streaming down my arm.
How long before it does any harm?
My eyes are starting to fill up with hate.
I know for a fact I need an escape.
It pains me to say but I’m just a mistake.
So I don’t blame you if you never want to see my face.
What am I doing here?
My life is so unclear.
I just know I need you near.

The days go by and I can't rid you people from my life.
My wrists so desperately need the sting of the knife.
Before you people think about engulfing someone's being, why don't you think about the life they may be leading.
The only person for whom I'll ever be grieving is my precious daughter ava who you people won't keep breathing.
It's one burden after another.
It leaves me so ******* smothered.
You people never give it a rest.
So I guess this was the final test.
It should be off with all of your heads.
But this time just let me carry out my death.

All of these stories are flowing, how could it ever get boring?
I'm feeling like i can't see any of this me enduring.
But how will i stop the worry?
I don't know who to turn to, so where do i find some new shoes?
Maybe i can find it in me to figure out all of these clues.
If only i had it in me to grow, i wouldn't mind feeling mostly sorrow.
And maybe it's not that fact that i don't, i just have too much hope.
These feelings are fleeting and i've been stuck on mending.
It may not be worse than i think but i'm so done with pretending.
That these games are all that it seems, but i know that they're not.
Looking at the motions i'm far from distraught.
So where am i headed now with my eyes strung with hope?
I'm ready to start trying harder and not tie the noose around my throat.
But everything changes so far from what i had in mind,
I feel like i'm doing mostly nothing but wasting precious time.
So in these passing days i'll try to give all that i've got.
And try in the meantime feel less than distraught.

I’m at war with myself, living in my own personal hell.
I’m so far gone that all I can do is dwell.
You were the only thing that could brighten my days.
But I’m left wondering if you really wanted me to stay.
Either way I’m sorry for leaving.
At least we’re both still breathing.
So as I try to piece myself back together,
I’ll hope my brittle bones can withstand the weather.
I’ll keep you in mind from time to time, when it seems like the sun won’t shine.
But as the time keeps ticking away,
I’ll hope we both end up okay.

Drowning in hate,
If only I could escape.
If I could I’d fix all of my mistakes.
To try to fix my fate.
And maybe feel happy for a change.

When you’re evil and conniving corruption is key.
Maybe that’s why they try not to ever let me see.
I’m not in it for myself it’s all of humanity.
I got blinded by hate because they set up my fate.
Now I’m trapped and I don’t even know if I want to escape.
My whole life is a charade, because people treat life like a game.
Maybe it doesn’t seem bad but it drives the good insane.
Why do they feed on those with good intentions?
There’s so much to say that I don’t know how to mention.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I see nothing good.
Is this the type of life they live?
They just **** away all of the good.
So why can’t they find it in them to just work on themselves?
Instead of ******* people over and putting their souls on the shelves?
So why can’t people just see things from a different point of view?
Is it really only me who thinks life is this misconstrued?
I don’t know what’s next but their plans are filled with hate.
Maybe that’s why I can’t get off of this god forsaken page.
Everyone seems to be liars, thieves and run off of greed.
They say they’re evil, but all I see is hate filled planted seeds.
So what’s the point in living like this?
******* people over to get themselves out of remiss.
And I’m not innocent either because they turned me into someone worse than them.
But the difference here is now I won’t accept a good hand.
They distorted reality in a contorted sense, all to get what they want and steal what they need right out of people’s heads and chests.
So why the **** won’t they just give it a rest?
Theres no need to put people through constant tests.
I tried to make people see but I couldn’t fathom what to do next.
Things don’t have to be perfect, but it is life itself.
Maybe that’s why I’m usually cautious and now I’m starting to dwell.
So what’s the next plan? I don’t know what to do next.
It’s not all up to me but I’m sick of people’s *******.
So as I hope no one else has to suffer like me.
I’ll just hope that those who need can learn how to see.

Left for dead.
What’s there left to do?
So misconstrued I’ve lost my shoes.
My heart is a barren wasteland.
Just let me sink my toes in the wet sand.
Forget about their plans, and this awfully crafted hand.
There’s no where left to go.
Lost my heart and soul.
I miss feeling woe.
But I’m stuck in this broken home.
There’s nothing for me here.
And everyone’s hate for me has become so clear.
So **** it all there’s no need anymore for tears.

I guess the road is nearing the end.
Its a shame that my life was mostly pretend.
I guess it doesn't matter that I didn't get to mend.
No matter how brutal my demise. ill be thankful for those who lent a helping hand.

Whatever’s going on I honestly can’t understand.
It’s petty ******* drama with your played out hands.
So what the **** is the work? What’s the master plan?
Just leave me alone I never had a chance.
I lived my life as a shadow and someone brought me out.
But you all found your way in and ended up getting me corrupted blindly so there was no doubt.
But now I’m trapped in your sequence and it’s a cycle of torment.
If that’s what being elite is then this should all lie dormant.
Does life even have meaning?
You’re all blinded with tunnel vision I truly can’t see it.
“Nymphos” fiending on corrupted lust.
Your lies make no sense and this life is so out of touch.
When will any of this satisfy any of you?
It never will cause you’re all horrendous just let me live without your played out shoes.

Let me bleed myself dry for you just one last time.
You were the one person who didn’t really make me want to hide.
But it didn’t work out, no, not this time.
So I’ll just hope my broken bones don’t get washed away by the tide.
Your smile brought joy to my all too dull world.
But I’m too naive, just a stupid little girl.
When did everything start fading away?
I guess the voices got the best of me so I was never really okay.
Your love was addicting and you were always enough.
I wish I had it in me to give you all of my love.
And although we reached our end I’ll still remember your eyes.
Warm and inviting unless I changed your mind.
And as we part ways to our unknown endeavours.
Just know I held you dearly and I’ll remember you forever.

When there is nothing of value anywhere you look.
And you ponder about the life they so blatantly took.
There's no point to living this belligerent low life.
Because people drag you down and lead you to things worse than the knife.
I can't take the torment and there's no way to stay sane.
Just let me fade into my dreams, but it's a nightmare too so ******* all for tearing my life apart at the seams.

How many days will go by, before i lose myself completely?
Everything's out of rhythm, i can't even feel my heart beating.
I just wish i could find a path to get myself back.
But it feels impossible to regain what i lack.
My being feels like it's constantly under attack.
And i can no longer stomach what i keep in my flask.
So is there any hope to find any sort of meaning that lasts?
Something tells me i'm nearing my death bed.
And these problems are taking it's toll on whatever part of me that i have left.
Am i really even me?
It's so distorted that i can barely see.
I'm slowly losing my sanity, and now i can see that the problem was never only me.

Maybe love was never meant for us.
If you can’t love someone’s flaws, you could never love them entirely.
And maybe that’s what ****** me up so much.
Maybe I was hoping that you could start to love me whole.
Was it ever love?
I was consumed by you and wanted to pour my feelings into your heart.
I always knew that time would tear us apart.
And maybe that’s why I’m still in the dark.

It never seems to end, and I’m made out to be insane.
This is ridiculous I can’t take all of these conniving games.
What is all of “this work”?
It’s leaving me disturbed.
I need to find a way out.
But there’s too much doubt.
Why do they keep going?
There’s no point to the future they’re unfolding.
Everything in my eyes is more or less chaotic.
So many people are seemingly psychotic.
The masquerade is past the point of an alliance.
There’s too much bad karma and all they do is deny it.
What’s with this facade?
It’s more than just a hoax.
It’s more of a charade, it seems everyone whose clairvoyant never stops the game.
So why is all of this past the point of fixing?
Is it only my life they’ve been nixing?
I don’t get why this is happening I just hope those who have suffered because of these renegades, find peace in a brighter shade.

Trapped in a lifeless corpse.
With nowhere to go because I'm caged and chained.
Can't get out of you peoples selfishly ignorant and belligerent plans.
There's no hope to go on because you all forced me onto my last stand.
I'd rather rot in front of you all and make you eat the mess.
There's nothing left except for wanting to get revenge .
But no revenge would ever suffice.
Too many times I've been led to the knife.
I have no control and it's supposed to be my ******* ******* life.
I'm a slave of a puppet and all you people do is steal, cheat and lie.
So as I wait for mine and you peoples demise, I'll hope you all run out of time.
Because there was never any beauty in this horrendous tide.
You all stole away every amount of the sun that had any potential to shine.
So in these darker shades, I'll know I won't be able to turn the page.
I know I can't rearrange my fate.
But I hope it's the end of all of you peoples days.🖕

If everything has withered away.
What's left in my head, why isn't there another way?
I can't keep going if there's nothing left.
So **** this conspiracy you might as well put a bullet in my head.

My true colours have faded away.
How do I make my great escape?
Where will I go while my shadow consumes me?
Death is coming and I don’t want to plea.
So what is it that I really need?
I just want to feel the blade and let it bleed.

When will this lifetime of suffering end?
Sometimes it seems good but still nothing ever ends.
They give me a break just to go back at it again.
I guess this is why with none of this going on I’ll never make amends.
Why is this all crashing down and rearranging?
It’s always me whose changing.
Why can’t I just figure out who the hell I am?
But the masquerade never really seems to stop so I guess I know where I stand.
What’s with all of these demented plans?
It wasn’t me who set out all of these bad hands.
I can’t escape the torment and my life feels hell sent.
so why are people so horrible and crude.
My whole existence is so misconstrued.
I guess that’s why I never know what to do.
If only I could figure out who I truly am so I can find my shoes.

The end is nigh, let my body get scraped away.
This lifeless vessel has ran out of ways to stay sane.
There's not enough blood or guts to help me be free.
I'm going crazy with this sanity, just let me bleed to see.
But when my body has drained out, don't remember me
All you people ever did was cause a life of misery for your selfish plans filled with greed.

There is no amount of suffering any of you could endure, for dragging me through life while wanting nothing but the worst.
How long have you had senseless hate in your eyes?
My existence is petty slavery always leading to my demise.
If I could make you all rot and consecutively burn, for as long as you’ve all desecrated my life and any self worth.
I’d do it without hesitation for every hour, minute and second you’ve strung me along as your puppet like witness.
All I can see is petty lies stemming from hate.
But there was never any real reason until you all filled my eyes up with the very same hate.

Nothing feels real.
I don't know where to go.
There's no mercy in the woe.
At least there's no longer sorrow.
Why does everything seem fake?
It's me against the renegades.
I dont know why life turned out this way.
It's always on the weak they play.
And I'm so ******* sick of this life's petty games.

Heat waves, summer nights.
Another day keeping my wrists away from the knife.
Will the good ever suffice?
There's too much hate and belligerence, I need a new life.
So as I ponder about what I thought life used to be, I'll hope I don't end up in a sea of misery.

Everything is vain.
There's nothing more than hate.
No one is sane.
Belligerence seems Ike the only game people play.
So what will unfold in this merciless plot?
Switching your game up leaves you nothing but distraught.
There is no value anywhere I look.
Everything is gone, I was just an open book.
So while you rearrange my life for another countless time,
I'll wonder how I barely even have it in me to rhyme.

You stumbled back into my life and it felt like old times.
Maybe the beginning was a little rocky but it was nice to see you smile.
But my life is like a scale, always weighing down to one side.
And now I’m left fearing my demise.
If I had one wish I would get my soul back.
And try to gain all the things I lack.
So in these passing days I’ll try to feel alive,
And try not to think about my lack of time.
I guess all I can do is live in the moment,
as I try to be a better poet.

So tear my chest open and see if I have a heart worth saving. People come and people go, always changing their mask.
Are they wearing one? I know you took yours off and burned it in the wreckage of your old self. But who is this new you?
What are you hiding now? Is it the loneliness that keeps finding it's way back? Or the brokenness that never ceases to appear when times get tough.
Well if what you're looking for is real, peer into my eyes, into my soul. Tell me who you see. I can't tell if it's even me.
So as I make my way through the wreckage of my life, I only hope to find the pieces that make me whole. And maybe, if I'm lucky, a soul worth sticking around for.

And as time goes by I can only hope for someone to love.
As time runs out I can feel myself fading.
It's something that I might have trouble escaping.
As the days go by I find myself wishing I was enough.
But from what's going on I doubt I'll ever feel your touch.
So as I keep slipping away from reality, I'll just try not to think of my mortality.

What happened to the good things?
The little things?
The better things?
I'm losing it.
It doesn't matter where I sit.
Enemies surround me.
And there will never be a key.
I have no hope to find my way home.
My being turned to stone.
And I guess I'm forever wandering alone.