It seems as though the stormy days are fading away.
I’m finding that I’m happy because it feels like you want to stay.
Your touch makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.
But I keep feeling like I can’t be what you need day after day.
I don’t know about you but you feel like the missing piece.
I just hope that whatever happens I don’t lose my sanity.
So as the days roll on I’ll keep thoughts of you close, hoping that you won’t let go as I loosen the noose around my throat.

Why am I always stuck alone?
It gets me no closer to finding my way home.
Isolation at its finest.
But I guess it’s not really one sided.
So as I try to find some meaning in the mess of my life,
I’ll try to stop fearing my demise.

Why the hell do they form all these alliances?
The loop probably created all of these disguises.
But they were the ones who gave life no meaning.
So now hate evil and greed are roaming freely.
I guess I know who started this mess.
But who was it before them? Will they ever give it a rest?
I guess this is why there are terrorist bombings.
But look they’re intertwined with isis. Don’t worry I saw it coming.
People say they’re lending a helping hand.
But what if they stop caring, it was probably part of their plan.
I hope my time comes before the world goes to ****.
Because I never wanted to be a part of any of the *******.

Cold and alone went to I want to break your ******* bones.
I knew I needed a home but why the hell did I ever let anyone come close?
My mind is infestedwith morbidity and suffering.
My being is breaking and nothing can fix the hellfire you people continuously put me through.
So what's with the lies and deceit?
And every single one of you peoples slimy disgusting feet.
Don't ******* act like you care, when I was always the one gasping for a fresher breath of air.
So ******* all and all of the nightmares through hell you've caused me to go through.
It's no wonder it's a means to an end because you people are so ******* greedy you put everyone else on their death beds.

When all your mind does is play petty little games.
How do you figure out a way to rearrange,
the pieces of you that made you who you are?
When all you do is try and you don't get very far.
How do you figure out which path to take?
But you're getting happier because everything seems to be getting less fake.
I guess i'll have to find more time to dream.
And try to stop my life from falling apart at the seams.

The world I’m living in is fuelled by hate.
**** why can’t I find it in me to escape.
Playing favourites trapped me in this labyrinth of a maze.
Theres no point to the games they play.
Because making people suffer will never bring a good change.
So why did I let myself become someone like these renegades?
I have little to no hope for a happier shade in these blurring days.
I can’t understand why they **** out the weak because everyone deserves a life this is all so bleak.
So as I hope that people try to see life for what it is, endless opportunity.
I’ll try to see why they always make the problem me.
Because things like this drive people to insanity.
And it leaves less room for people to live the lives of their dreams.

Life feels like a paradox, or at least like a tormented haunting.
There's no point in chasing happiness because it was probably just an illusion to begin with.
So what's left in this petty life of demented misery?
It seems that there is no value anywhere I look.
I guess I'm an open book.
But I'm stuck pondering on what would have been life if it wasn't so blatantly took.
So I guess this is it.
Petty suffering until they decide who wins.

It’s like my world is burning.
And all I can do is stare blankly.
Standing in the never ending crossfire.
Of faces I’ve encountered, dropping hate like bombs with no regard to anything that they’re doing.
How can people be so senseless?
In a world of hate, will I find it in me to escape?
This place is a cesspool. It’s like an army of petty ******* renegades. Keeping up charades for their own selfish satisfaction.
Who are they to dictate the lives of others?
But with people so conniving you can never talk any sense into them, it makes them belligerent.
And I’m at a loss because they have no ******* common sense.
So as I hope things take a change into a more positive light, I’ll hope I don’t get lost in the night. And hope that someday soon things end up alright.

It seems the masquerade has turned into an alliance.
Is there hope for a better day? They’ll always deny it.
I need to escape their slimy grasp.
And find any kind of happiness with the potential to last.
But things are crashing down right before my eyes.
All that’s left are their disguises and lies.
So as I try to get out of the crossfire, I’ll hope that things don’t get too dire.
As I hope my time doesn’t expire.

Everyone's despicable.
There's no other way of looking at how life truly is.
It's not an army of misfits.
It's an army of uneducated kids.
This is vile and so is everyone involved.
Looks like it's nothing that any sane person could solve.
You people have no mind.
Just a will to get hellbent until there's no more time.

What's left of my fate?
I don't have it in me to end it and escape.
Why can i no longer take the sting of the blade?
I feel nothing but regret and shame.
Why is life a constant game?
I don't have any answers anymore, but it's not only me whose to blame.

Sleepless nights get me no closer to feeling at home.
Maybe it’s cause I miss you but I know I have to stay alone.
So where is life taking me now?
All I can hope for is not to drown.
I’ll keep our memories locked away in my heart.
As I hope for neither of us to fall apart.
So as I keep wandering down these staggering roads.
I’ll hope our door doesn’t completely close.

With a broken spirit and no mind left,
How am i supposed to feel the heart beating in my chest?
With emptiness flowing through my veins,
How am i supposed to appreciate the sun or the pouring rain?
Nothing but enemies everywhere i go.
And i'm stuck walking around with nothing but false hope.

There's nothing i want more than to feel as deep as the ocean.
I'm always left alone with nothing and no one and so much devotion.
But what's left to give when everyone's gone and left?
I can't feel anything deep inside my chest.
Stuck living my life as an emotionless wreck.
I'm nothing more in this world than a valueless speck.

So as the days keep passing me by in this melancholic mess.
I'll continue to try to give my life meaning, and do away with the stress.

So i'm left with an anguishing heart.
I guess the way things are going i won't fall apart.
I just wish i didn't have to go through life alone.
All of this is making me turn to stone.

So as i keep searching for a lasting love.
I'll try to rid my life of the meaningless encounters i'm starting to get sick of.

These days life never seems worth it.
I’m still wandering around searching for my sense of purpose.
I don’t want to but I think I have to rid you of my life.
Either way it’s getting me no further away from the knife.
If only I could get out of this negative spiral.
But I’m still living with all of this self doubt and denial.
Will I ever find someone who will stay?
Something tells me I won’t and that’s why I’m never okay.
So I’ll still wish the best for you in whatever you decide to do.
As I break in these shoes hoping I can find the strength to find something new.

You people are so belligerent nothing will ever be enough.
So this time just remember that you all caused this to erupt.
Don't remember me because you're all ignorant *****.
I wish I could take the pain but if I kept going I'd never stop calling your bluffs.
So here it is, my merciless casket.
And there's the life you people took, if you hated me that much you wouldn't have it.

Been running away for most of my life,
Always turning back to feeling the blade of the knife.
Getting older is making me grow colder.
No one to turn to but my own lonely shoulder.
But somehow none of it seems that bad.
Maybe it is and that's why nothing ever lasts.
I don't know where i'm going but i hope i get there soon.
Maybe if i'm lucky i'll find a hand to hold onto.
But i can never hold onto the same shoes.
And maybe that's why i'm always searching for clues.
But i'm finding that i'm running out of hope to continue.
And lately i've been mostly numb.
To death will i succumb?
I always feel like it follows me around.
Maybe that's why i feel safer in a crowd.
But what is life if you have no real connections?
I guess i need to figure out a way to change the direction.
Maybe it's all about the perception.
But until i find a way to feel better about my disarranged life.
I'll try my best to have hope and get rid of this strife.

How long are you people going to keep up these games?
There’s no need for anyone to play.
It’s senseless fuckery that gets worse by the day.
You people are despicably sick, is there not another way?
So as I pass my bouts of rage, I’ll try to get off of this page.
But you people are utterly insane.
Why make everything petty so it has to be your way?

Life is a hoax.
You people are a joke.
Stop dictating my life and hiding behind your disguise.
I don't care whats to come, because life is valueless and there's no beauty in the rising sun.
I don't care who's won.
Life has nothing but deceptive narcissists ******* all im done.

Why torment someone for so long that they’re weak at the knees?
My life is a hoax that’s always been tearing apart at the seams.
What’s with the deception?
These disorders corrupt my recollection.
But I find that I can only be, why won’t they leave this vessel? It’s clear I’m trapped and they just can’t see.
Or maybe they can but they use me for their contortion.
There has to be another way but I can’t find the notion.
So as I try to stop drowning in this mess of petty slavery, I’ll try to see more clearly until I can live my life as only me.

So the end is nigh.
And everyone is blind.
Too many sins, there's no good place to begin.
For my daughter ava, I wish I could have been there.
You're more precious than life but I'm left gasping for air.
If I could I'd give you the best life, but my merciless days led me straight to the morgue this time.
You shine brighter than the sun, and I hope will find the best life to come.
And for those just like you I wish the same to be true.
So in these final moments I'll just think about you and my motherhood.
But dwell on the fact that this life is always misunderstood.

Sliding down this seemingly never ending downwards spiral, I’m just lucky I’m not in denial.
Why can’t I find something worthwhile?
My life is unfolding in a catastrophic sense.
But my mind is too slow, I’m just happy it’s starting to make sense.
So how can I crawl out of the hole they’ve been digging me?
It’s gotten so deep that there’s no light that I can see.
This life is a hoax I just want to be me.
And regain anything lost including my dignity.

My soul is filling up with hate.
Something i can never escape.
I just want to run away.
Because i know i'll never be okay.
I guess i'm a drifter, with no one to trust.
**** them all i'm done with temptation, so i'll try to rid myself of all this disgust.
It's because of them who made me unable to adjust.
I guess i always knew i would at most never end up with much.
But i guess i'm at fault too for never quite fitting into these shoes.
So what is there left to do?
There's no hope to continue.
Just a web of lies.
Well orchestrated with different options for each one of them and their disguise.
So what's left in their appalling plan?
I just need to find my way out but i don't think i can.
I'm done trying to be a better me.
There is no key, and i'm losing my sanity.

Stumbling past all of life's bends.
I don't know where i'm headed i don't know if i've begun to mend.
Sometimes you need to create your own weather.
And maybe sometimes it's best to bring a sweater.
But no matter what gets thrown onto your path.
You have in you some potential to last.
So fight like hell to get out of their grasp.
And try not to make this breath your last.

Going back to the night with tears streaming down my face,
The blade didn’t work so I guess I’ll have to live out my unthinkable fate.
I want to slip into the unknown and never look back, because everyone’s eyes are filled with hate and there’s no getting anything that was ever mine back.
So as I ponder the afterlife and try to be set free, I’ll keep dragging this corpse through life as I try to regain any ounce of sanity.

No one left, nowhere to go.
I just need to get out and find a new home.
Pain comes, and just as easily goes.
I always knew i'd end up alone.
No, i don't want your pity or anyone to save me.
I just need to find myself and maybe some company.
These bones are turning bitter, just in time for winter.
If i can find my happy place, i might be fine in this space.
I'm sick of the motions, this goes almost as deep as the ocean.
Who knew i had so much devotion.
But i guess when it's your life at stake, you really can't afford to make a mistake.
**** just get me out of this place.

When hope comes flooding in, you can never help yourself but to drown in it.
Maybe that's what sets you up for failure.
But what is there, if not hope?
Are you just an empty vessel waiting for someone to breathe some life into your soul?
Or are you still stuck looking for all the pieces you so eagerly gave away?
My dear, if it's yourself you seek you must look within.
But what if that doesn't work?
I know you know who you are, the hard part is winning your life back.
Maybe nothing will ever seem carefree again, but you can't calm a storm if you never get wet.
I know your eyes are fixated on the stars, and with a little heart you could go far.
So keep searching for the truest version of you.
Things won't stay cloudy forever, and you deserve a clear view.

What’s going to happen next in this series of unfortunate events?
The masquerade presents:
My untimely and overweening death.
So why am I sitting here writing these words?
My existence is a hoax, haven’t you heard?
So as I accept that probably everyone will never care,
I’ll try to appreciate this last bit of air.
While they pick someone else to run into their grave.
Hopefully next time they will be saved.

The conspiracy never ends.
And my wrists miss the sting of the blade.
Maybe I'm not completely insane,
But I'm sick and ******* tired of everyone's games.
I'm so ******* dead and being drained of my spirit.
There's no salvation and the misery stays incoherent.
I have a death wish and I don't even fear it.
I'm done with everyone's ignorance.
Stop making me your punching bag because not even I want to hear it.

Been trying so long and my dreams are shattered.
All of this makes it seem like none of this ever mattered.
So how do I get out of the pit I’m in?
This is so ****** up and I’m left with the weight of my actions and sins.
I don’t even know if I have enough love to give.
I don’t know why but without it I can’t seem to live.
So why am I stumbling through life still trying?
What’s left of my soul seems to be withering away and dying.
Where am I going? There aren’t many people I can call friends around.
At least I’m not that lonely anymore but it’s still hard to get used to the sound.
So I’ll try to stand up and make it through the chaos.
And hope that I don’t get completely lost.

Find me in acid rain.
I feel nothing, no pain.
At least I seem sane.
But I’ve had it with these games.
How will I ever feel,
When the blood flowing from my veins doesn’t feel real.
Everything is so concealed.
Where is the truth?
When will I heal?
But what’s left when I can no longer handle the sting?
Of the blade carving into my skin.
Is there anything left within?
It’s not me whose condoning these sins.
So how did I end up in the middle of the fire?
There’s no hope for me, no real desires.
Except to find myself, all the fragments and shards.
But I can’t figure out how to handle these cards.
My life has been ripped apart from the heart.
I need to follow the stars and find a new place to start.

Sit with me and let’s look at the stars.
I only hope to get back my lost heart.
Let’s watch the sunrise after being alone with the moon.
Now is not the time to let the doom consume.
Take my hand and we’ll wander into the unknown.
Maybe someday I won’t be so alone.

Defeated.
Don’t want to stop the bleeding.
Because they cover up the truth so no one conceives it.
I need to focus on leaving.
Because this life is only deceiving.
I don’t want to keep breathing.
So hand me the blade so I can stop grieving.

Go to hell you *****.
Nothing in life will ever be enough.
It's because of you all that makes life **** this much.
Nothing will ever matter because you all manipulate the truth for your greedy bluffs.

Walking down these staggering roads.
And i'm starting to feel a little less alone.
I'm just trying to melt my heart of stone,
So maybe one day i'll have someone to hold.
But lately I've been feeling more or less cold.
But some seem to brighten my day, and I know it could never get old.
So where do I go with my eyes set on the stars?
I used to have so much love in my heart. and now i'm not sure if i'll get very far.
I guess i'll just have to deal with my cards.
As I hope and try to get back all of my lost heart.

Corrupted minds.
Clouded judgement.
What happened to the true things and feelings?
It’s like smog, polluting everything it comes into contact with.
What happened to purity?
Everything is meaningless.
Counterproductive.
My tainted being is no better.
But my mind wants to find a way out.
But I can’t fathom it.
At the point of being crippled or tied down and locked in a cage.
What’s the point of this labrynth of a maze?
There’s no point to these mindless games, or all of life’s charades.
What are they covering up?
Does it matter?
I’m always the odd one out.
So why the **** am I still here?
It’s clear that no one wants me here.
So as I hope they suffer for the torture they put me through, I’ll hope the ones who never got involved live the lives they deserve.
Because everything they do feels like a curse.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what happened to the beauty I can no longer see?
I can’t even fathom how it got to this degree.
If only I could learn to soak in the beauty of the world.
Will there ever be hope for anything meaningful to unfurl?
Or will I continue drifting hopelessly through this cold world?
Whatever my fate, I need to escape.
Because this vicious cycle is filled with too much hate.

I'm the worst.
It's almost like a curse.
Can i lift off the debris?
At least it's kind of getting easier to see.
How did they make every problem me?
This hellhole is getting deeper and i just want to break free.
How do people feel superior degrading those that they see fit?
I don't understand, and there's nowhere i can sit.
My time is coming and i know i won't be missed.
But if i could trade this petty tragedy in, i'd be me without the sins.

I know I don’t always make things easy.
But my ******* mind is so ******* deceiving.
I know you know that I don’t want to leave your side.
But my heart and mind are being flooded by the waves of the tide.
I wish things could just be easy so we could appreciate the stars.
If we both have a bit of heart I think we could get far.
I just want to get lost in your soft green eyes.
While I sit here and hope that we don’t run out of time.

Life is vain, people deserve to get slain.
What's with all the childish games?
And contortions life to get your way.
Everything is petty, there's no point to this mess.
You people are too greedy and conniving.
This is no way to live life.
So as I hope they have you peoples heads, and rid you all from my being and life.
I'll try to not lose all of my brain cells, from every daft ******* thing you did to everyone you people felt like putting through strife.

As the moon waxes and wanes, I come to find that I’m sanely going insane.

Hated.
So jaded.
Can’t evade it.
I wish I could escape.
But my life is a labyrinth of a maze.
It was only a matter of time till I wasn’t okay.
What’s with these games?
Deception.
No direction.
Forced suppression.
Misconstrued perceptions.
I’m lost and I don’t think I’ll ever be found.
I know I’ll never get used to the sound.
Tear off my limbs and pin me to the ground.
I’m trapped in a cage and I can’t get used to the sound.

Life is a curse, and you all started it first.
Never left alone, when the **** will I find a home?
Belligerence around every bend.
You're all so petty and morbid that no one can mend.
Life is not to be sacrificed.
If it were I'd never cease to end your lives.
Don't tarnish the pure and good hearted.
Just because you peoples good will has already departed.
I guess I'm a one person army.
But for anything that wasn't planned, by my hands to you people, I will never be sorry.

I was so happy to have you in my life.
But this separation cuts like a knife.
I never meant to start a losing battle.
I just wish it could have been something that we could both handle.
You saved me but I think I hurt you more.
Will there ever be a way to even the score?

If I can’t better myself then what can I do?
Why do people have to be so blinded and misconstrued?
I need to work on myself and let my life unfold.
But they’re bitter as hell and they keep me trapped in a hell hole.
So how do I get out of the clutches of the masquerade?
I don’t know what to do because no matter what I try it gets worse by the day.
I wish there were another way.
But I can’t take this petty tragedy and I think I’m nearing the final page.

When you've lost your voice, and end up with no choice,
How do you make anything better?
I guess i should stop treating everyone as just a letter.
But when you have trouble deciphering the mess.
It's hard to figure out if there's any of yourself that you have left.
So what do i do to win back what was locked away in my chest?
I guess i should start to make my escape.
Even though i'm more or less of a disgrace.
So in the days to come i'll try to appreciate the rising sun.
And try to think less of all the questionable things i've done.

Life is a waste of time and every entitled person made it so.
Why the hell did life succumb to everyone's egos and greed?
Why the hell are people devolving?
Why the hell are you people THIS ******* DAFT!?
I'm so sick and tired of this "game" and everyone's pettiness that I'm left wanting to ***** profusely.
What the **** happened to leaving people alone if they didn't do a single ******* thing to you.
And if you did Why the hell are those people more reasonable?
Why the hell is life an imbecillic mess of brain dead nymphos making my ******* brain lobes burst from their stupidity?
IM THE ONE WHOS ******* BRAIN DEAD BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE SO ******* ******* AND NOW IM ******* ****** THAT I CANT CALL YOU DESPICABLE SACKS OF DAFT FLESH ANYTHING WORSE.
GO. TO. *******. HELL.
oh yeah and on the way there I hope you go through exactly what you all did to me plus brutal torture but faster🤗🖕

Oh god what I would do to be in your arms.
Will this do any harm?
I know I can’t have you anymore.
But that doesn’t help me from changing what’s in store.
I can’t get over what I felt for you.
And it keeps me from believing from what is true.
Just know that I always wanted you.
And everyone else doesn’t seem to have a clue.
So I’ll keep you knowing that you were all I’ve ever wanted.
But I can’t help myself from feeling haunted.

There is no mercy I have to show.
You people deserve to rot no matter what woe.
Life is supposed to be a gift, not something you get dragged through with desecration.
You people are moronic imbeciles who poisoned the entire population.
So with tainted beings around every corner, I'll keep walking away knowing there's no order.
I hope you people are trapped in every circle of hell for the rest of eternity.
And I'll keep wondering why im still here if I'm so much of a burden.
But no torture would ever be fit.
Because you dismember peoples lives just so you can have whatever you wanted to win.

The sky is turning black and cold.
I never fit into my ideal mould.
I don't know what's to come but it's the end of this life.
Why did i ever turn to the knife?
There's no way i can escape, so this is what's at stake,
My precious little girl wandering into a world filled with hate.

Will I keep walking down this path alone? I can’t tell if what’s coming back to life is my heart of stone. My bones can’t withstand the cold. And I don’t know if I’ll ever find my way home.