As my soul turns to ashes, I wonder if I’ll be able to move past this.
It seems the planets in my world are colliding.
And all I can do is keep hiding.
If I could change anything I’d still want to be by your side.
But there’s no more hope and I know that you’ll never be mine.

Oh god what I would do to be in your arms.
Will this do any harm?
I know I can’t have you anymore.
But that doesn’t help me from changing what’s in store.
I can’t get over what I felt for you.
And it keeps me from believing from what is true.
Just know that I always wanted you.
And everyone else doesn’t seem to have a clue.
So I’ll keep you knowing that you were all I’ve ever wanted.
But I can’t help myself from feeling haunted.

Let the tears run down.
Try not to drown.
I wanted to be there for you.
But I’m a mess, what else could I do?
You make everything look so easy.
And the thought of being without you makes me feel somewhat queezy.
Life just keeps kicking me down.
I hope you’re doing better without me around.
You were just like my favourite sweater.
Always comforting, no matter the weather.
But you’re gone and all I can do is cry.
I can’t say that I don’t want to die.
So just promise me that in our silence, you’ll do more than me and that is just survive.

Why am I still breathing?
I know it was me who was always leaving.
I never meant to break you down.
Please just get up off of the ground.
You always deserved better than me.
It was only you who couldn’t see.
Maybe you were never meant to be the key.
If I could hope for anything it’s for you to be happy.
I spilled my guts out to you hoping you’d understand.
But things never work out the way you want, and I just wanted to hold your hand.
You were my sweet escape, especially with that smile on your face.
And I’m left here wishing we had a different fate.

Maybe love was never meant for us.
If you can’t love someone’s flaws, you could never love them entirely.
And maybe that’s what ****** me up so much.
Maybe I was hoping that you could start to love me whole.
Was it ever love?
I was consumed by you and wanted to pour my feelings into your heart.
I always knew that time would tear us apart.
And maybe that’s why I’m still in the dark.

I was so happy to have you in my life.
But this separation cuts like a knife.
I never meant to start a losing battle.
I just wish it could have been something that we could both handle.
You saved me but I think I hurt you more.
Will there ever be a way to even the score?

Maybe I was never worth it.
Maybe I always knew you deserved better.
Maybe that’s why I couldn’t keep up with the weather.
Break my bones because there’s nothing left.
Find a new place to deconstruct your bones.
Because I knew your heart could never be my home.
And maybe that’s why I’m always left alone.

Always feeling hated in this world.
I’m nothing but a stupid little girl.
I wish I could just be with you again.
But there’s no more hope I guess we’re both set to mend.
The end for me seems to be near.
I can barely feel anything but the streaming tears.
There’s nothing left but defeat.
Nothing left to do but self medicate and sleep.

Why am I so scared of dying alone?
It gets me no closer to finding a home.
I guess I just have too many emotions.
Dig deeper, I go almost as deep as the ocean.
I’ve been spending today trying not to cry.
But I can’t help but think about that look in your eyes.
What did I do to deserve you in my life?
I find myself wanting to feel the blade of the knife.
Oh god what I would do if you would give me the time of day.
I know I ****** up, I just wish you would stay.
But as I try to move on, I’ll try not to think about the fact that you’re gone.
And I’ll try my best to be strong, as I try to be okay and maybe one day move on.

It was never my intention to bring you pain.
Now I’m left with all this disdain.
Now all I can see is the coming rain.
So tell me, will any of this ever be okay?
You say you feel defeated and I’m sorry that’s how you feel.
You met me at a strange time and I was still trying to heal.
You brought hope into my lifeless world.
This isn’t how I expected everything to unfurl.
So tell me now, will you ever forgive me?
I was so lost and thought you might have been the key.
Now I’m left feeling misery.
I know I’m undeserving just please let me keep my sanity.

I wish things didn’t have to end.
To me you were a godsend.
I know I always make things hard.
Just know I never wanted to leave your arms.
I’ll always remember your soft green eyes.
I wish we had a chance to say our goodbyes.
I’ll hold you forever in my heart.
Even though I ****** up and tore us apart.
But for you I hope for a better start.
Even though you still have my heart.
So as I try to just be alright,
I’ll just hope I don’t get lost in the night.

I’ve been keeping the bottle close, but the days are getting harder.
I wanted things to work but it seems we’re getting farther.
You never fail to put a smile on my face.
If only things were happening at a different pace.
All that’s left is the image of what was.
Just know for you I felt mostly love.
I’m slipping back into my self destructive ways.
If only I could figure out a way to make everything okay.
So as I try to crawl out of the bowels of hell,
I’ll hope I can be more and not just this empty shell.

Nothing left but a scattered mind and broken soul.
I always hoped that my heart wouldn’t turn back into stone.
I just need to get away and find someplace to call home.
I know I need you but I might have to go.
I try and try but I feel like I need to end it all.
I don’t want to hurt you but I’m losing my grip and beginning to fall.
They always said that the world is a cruel place.
I find myself waiting to see the smile on your face.
So what’s left in the unraveling chapter of my life?
I guess a noose is taking place of the knife.
But that doesn’t stop me from wanting you in what’s left of my life.
With these scattered thoughts it’s hard to tell what to do, I’m starting to lose sight.
I feel like I’m undeserving, does anyone have a clear view?
I do what I can but I can never get used to these shoes.
So as I count the days till I see you next,
I’ll hope that soon I’ll feel my heart beating in my chest.

Stumbling around trying to make it past these bends.
I can’t roll with the punches and keep wanting everything to end.
The storm pushes past in a few brief moments when I’m in your presence.
What happened to the better days, I’m still left pondering on the essence.
If only I could figure out a way to rid myself of the negativity.
But I feel like I may have lost myself completely.
So as I try to keep every last shred of my sanity,
I’ll try not to get lost in all of life’s vanity.
I guess I could try to make the most out of the time I have left.
Tell me, what’s the point if I don’t feel anything beating in my chest?
My soul feels like it keeps leaving my body.
I try and try, but have no interest in any new hobby.
I’m nothing but a lifeless corpse, dragging what’s left of my being around.
It keeps getting worse and I’m not sure if I can get used to the sound.
So as I try not to give up, I’ll just hope that one day I’ll be enough.

Where do you go when the storm never ends?
I know I always said I needed to mend.
But my world is crashing down before my eyes.
It’s not something I could change this time.
It feels like I’m just chasing shadows.
How do I win my losing battle?
Crawling out of the rubble is never an easy task.
And it’s even harder when everyone around you seems to be wearing a mask.
The noose isn’t tied too tight this time.
They always say they want me to turn out fine.
If only there were a way to change the time.
But in a hopeless world, it makes you want to jump.
Break my bones because I don’t feel like I can't get out of this slump.

Let me bleed myself dry for you just one last time.
You were the one person who didn’t really make me want to hide.
But it didn’t work out, no, not this time.
So I’ll just hope my broken bones don’t get washed away by the tide.
Your smile brought joy to my all too dull world.
But I’m too naive, just a stupid little girl.
When did everything start fading away?
I guess the voices got the best of me so I was never really okay.
Your love was addicting and you were always enough.
I wish I had it in me to give you all of my love.
And although we reached our end I’ll still remember your eyes.
Warm and inviting unless I changed your mind.
And as we part ways to our unknown endeavours.
Just know I held you dearly and I’ll remember you forever.

I know I don’t always make things easy.
But my ******* mind is so ******* deceiving.
I know you know that I don’t want to leave your side.
But my heart and mind are being flooded by the waves of the tide.
I wish things could just be easy so we could appreciate the stars.
If we both have a bit of heart I think we could get far.
I just want to get lost in your soft green eyes.
While I sit here and hope that we don’t run out of time.

You came into my life and I never gave it a second thought.
Little did I know you were everything I sought.
Unraveling the void that was swallowing my heart.
I never wanted to tear us apart.
But now it seems like fate brought us a second chance.
I almost forgot how it felt when you made my heart dance.
But something dark continues to corrupt my being.
It’s not something I can imagine anyone else seeing.
So as we continue to walk together down this staggering road,
I’ll just hope my heart doesn’t turn back into stone.

Am I tiptoeing carefully? Or falling down the stairs?
I still get the feeling that life is never fair.
So should I fashion a dare?
Take a leap of faith with you, or leave with far too many cares?
It seems my life is up in the air.
And all anyone can do is sit and stare.
It seems my hopes are always fleeting.
And my heart and mind can get far too deceiving.
I know I don’t really want to see myself leaving.
Because for you I know I would always be grieving.
At a loss for something that could feel like a breath of fresh air.
But I’m losing the fight, this isn’t fair.

Hold me.
Let me feel your touch one more time.
Let me know that it wasn’t all a lie.
I’m breaking apart and the end for me seems to be nigh.
You were the one person who didn’t make me want to hide.
So tell me, why did we have to run out of time?
I need your presence.
You made me feel effervescent.
I can feel myself pondering on the essence.
But you seem to be fading away.
Oh dear god what I would do if you would stay.
Hell knows I won’t be okay.
But the only thing I can do now is try to find my place.

Break my heart.
Let me know if it was beating in the first place.
Say my name one last time so I know it was real.
I know you don’t want me but how the **** am I supposed to heal?
No closure.
Just a lonely broken road.
And I’m no closer to finding a home.
Why did you have to go?
I have no more hope.
So let me tie the noose around my throat.

Is the door shut for good again?
I really hope we can make it past this bend.
But it seems like you may have severed our ties.
Everything is turning back into stormy skies.
I don’t really wanna hide.
But it’s all I can do if you won’t let me stay by your side.
Trying to escape the crashing tide.
I just wish you were mine.
But something tells me if there’s even a chance it’ll be harder this time.
I’ll just hope that if this is the end we both turn out fine.

Why does my mind always deceive me?
It seems I’m always stuck grieving.
Is it from the loss of life or the loss of love?
I’m sorry I couldn’t be enough.
Always set up to fail.
The rain is turning into hail.
And the smoke is turning stale.
I know I shut the door for good this time.
And you’ve probably had it with all of these rhymes.
I just wish we could have had more time.
But my mind kept telling me it was all a lie.
I just hope your days stay sunny and bright.
Even if I couldn’t be your light.
Maybe one day I’ll see you in my dreams.
And it could be everything we wanted it to be.
But until then I’ll try not to drown in my misery.
And maybe try to enjoy the scenery.
As I try to be all the things I always knew I needed to be.

I guess maybe I’m just selfish.
I don’t really want to end this.
But I’m too ****** up I have to take the risk.
What I would give for just one more kiss.
I need to get away from here, and make new memories.
Maybe if I find some friends there will be better scenery.
But all I am is a product of subliminal thievery.
So what’s next in this mess I call life?
I’m finding myself wanting to feel the sting of the knife.
But I guess I’ll just settle for trying to be alright.

It seems as though the stormy days are fading away.
I’m finding that I’m happy because it feels like you want to stay.
Your touch makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.
But I keep feeling like I can’t be what you need day after day.
I don’t know about you but you feel like the missing piece.
I just hope that whatever happens I don’t lose my sanity.
So as the days roll on I’ll keep thoughts of you close, hoping that you won’t let go as I loosen the noose around my throat.

Why does my heart continue to get tangled in my thoughts?
Somehow I found what I sought.
But it feels like he might be fading away into the night.
I guess maybe I’ll find a way to be alright.
So as the mess of my mind continues to consume me.
I’ll try to focus on blooming.
Maybe if I can’t fix my thoughts I can learn to grow.
I just wish it didn’t feel like you’re letting go.
You brought me so much hope.
I guess I’ll try not to tie a noose in this rope.

When your mind is against you where do you go?
What if the only thing keeping you going is hope?
What if every ounce of happiness gets washed away by the toxic patterns of your mind?
I don’t know about you but I think we’re running out of time.
Why did destiny cross our paths?
I know I have it in me to make this last.
But I’m damaging our ties.
Forcing you to hide.
If only I could tame my mind.

What happened to my heart beating in my chest?
I just wanted to be myself and do away with all the rest.
But then you found me hiding in that trance.
I never thought I’d see the day where my heart would dance.
Through the ups and downs my heart was becoming uncovered.
I didn’t want to drag you down with me but I don’t wanna find another.
So what went wrong that I now feel so lost?
I would do anything I can to get my heart back at all costs.
So where on earth does that leave our fate?
I just hope we can go on without locking the gate.

Longing to feel deaths cold embrace.
I miss the days of a pure smile on my face.
So I guess now I’m just counting the days.
But I can’t help but want to get out of this place.
No friendly faces far or near.
I miss the running of tears.
How does everything keep changing.
It’s not something I can find myself embracing.
So why does my mind continue to keep racing?
It’s everyone else’s time I’m wasting.
What is this bitter feeling that keeps chasing me.
I feel undeserving of love, is there a key?

It seems my life is iridescent.
Why am I always after question after question?
Will it get me closer to feeling more alive?
I think I need to buy myself a little more time.
We stumbled into each other’s lives but I’m always feeling like I’m on the outside.
Can you see me? I’m doing my best not to only hide.
Is it easy?
You make life look like a simple stride.
Do you need me?
Don’t answer that, I’m tired of hearing so many lies.
I need to free me.
Before I get washed up on the tide.

I guess I ****** it up again this time.
I miss the feeling of your hand in mine.
I’m running out of time.
I guess the gate is shut for good again.
No hope for your touch, no hope to mend.
Why do I do this time and time again?
To see your face would be a godsend.

Still living as a shadow.
Tell me now, where does the good go?
Trying to find something with meaning.
Why can I only find it when I’m dreaming?
I know you make me feel like myself.
So tell me how can I stop the drought?
My mind is always hiding in the dark.
Is it the same with my heart?
Maybe one day I’ll be able to let the light shine through.
I guess I’m just happy you still want to continue.
You could probably say I’m still a mess.
So I don’t want to leave you with less.
But I’m struggling to be found.
I just hope I don’t drown.

The blood isn’t rushing like it used to.
What am I supposed to do?
I miss the warm rush streaming down my arm.
How long before it does any harm?
My eyes are starting to fill up with hate.
I know for a fact I need an escape.
It pains me to say but I’m just a mistake.
So I don’t blame you if you never want to see my face.
What am I doing here?
My life is so unclear.
I just know I need you near.

I am no one.
I am nothing.
Is this what misery brings?
I can still feel the sting.
So how can I go on?
Everything I do and say is wrong.
And I’m not that strong.
Falling apart at the seams.
My only escape is my dreams.
Even if they are mostly nightmares.
I want to find love but no one cares.
So why don’t I fashion a dare?
Can I get my life back?
Or all the things I lack?
Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to breathe.
Until then I’ll be hiding in my sleep.

My true colours have faded away.
How do I make my great escape?
Where will I go while my shadow consumes me?
Death is coming and I don’t want to plea.
So what is it that I really need?
I just want to feel the blade and let it bleed.

No hope to go on, no hope to mend.
So tell me, do you know how this is going to end?
My entire life has felt like a hoax.
No this isn’t a joke.
So what is there now if not hope?
Maybe it’s time to cut all the ropes.
Will I be numb? Or slip into the unknown?
I have nowhere left to go.
I guess I need to stop letting my feelings show.

My heart and soul have been drawn out of my body.
I guess I need a new hobby.
My bones are withering away.
But I have this feeling that you won’t stay.
Everyone keeps leaving and locking the gate.
How do I always find myself feeling okay?
I hate just surviving. This isn’t living.
I always find that I’m far too forgiving.
So who am I now In this deceiving sequence?
Everyone knows that the concept of love has always been my weakness.
How the **** am I supposed to defeat this?
I have a feeling that whatever happens I won’t be missed.
What happened to all the time I spent trying to grow?
At least I’m not feeling only sorrow.
But now I feel nothing at all.
I guess my stumble turned into a crawl.

With so many rain clouds rolling through my mind I’m lost because you’re not trying to hide.
I guess more often than not I find myself wanting to be by your side.
So why won’t death release me from its grasp?
I think I might have found a happiness with the potential to last.
The winds may blow, but somehow for you my feelings always show.
Please don’t let go.

Always feeling like I’m stuck at the bottom.
I probably should have realized that I need help solving my problems.
I guess I had a chance at a new kind of start.
But it got the best of me cause now I might be falling apart.
I guess I have too much hope.
But if we must you can cut the rope.
Things can’t stay cloudy forever.
Maybe the haze will fade and I’ll be fine by December.
But what now? I feel like I severed our ties.
The last thing I want is for you to run and hide.
Maybe I’ll never be the one you keep by your side.
But what I do know is that I want to push my hazy, darkened thoughts aside.

Maybe my heart is hard wired to fail.
If only the way I feel could tip the scales.
They say I’m crazy but is that really my reality?
If only I could find someone with the same mentality.
In the beginning it was light and airy.
Why does my mind always find ways to scare me?
Maybe I just have a heavy heart.
I know I tried but I still fell apart.
Still hoping that there’s something after this mess.
If only you could feel my heart beating in my chest.
They often say that time tells all.
So I’ve been menacingly breaking down all my walls.
If only I didn’t **** with the connection.
I’m probably the worst out of your selection.
But I’ll keep my eyes set on the stars.
Hoping soon for you to hold me in your arms.

When your mind keeps creeping back into the dark, how do you know whether to end or restart.
I guess my minds playing tricks on me.
People make living life look like they do it so easily.
So maybe my heads just up in the clouds.
I'm just trying to get away from here, please let me find my way out.
Not a face I know well I can say I can trust.
If only I could get up and figure out how to adjust.

The future is unraveling and i'm not liking the view.
Innocent or menacing? Will i ever have a clear view?
As the days turn into months, and months to years, it seems like the only thing keeping me sane is downing a few beers.
So what's next in this viscous cycle?
Every interaction feels recycled.
I keep wanting to get away, but i feel like i'll never make a clean escape.
What's blocking the gate to a new and unfiltered life?
It seems that gravity is the only thing keeping me grounded, but my wrist no longer feel the sting of the knife.
Where would i go if i even had the chance?
The days are kind of blurry, how do i get out of this trance?
But as my life keeps unfolding, i'll try to make it through.
My life feels like a hoax, i'm not liking these new shoes.

Searching inside for something i can't find.
Do i even have a heart inside?
How can someone go from feeling so much to so little?
Can you meet me somewhere in the middle?
I know i'll never be good enough to find someone to love.
So i'll keep inside the sounds of the mourning dove.
Why is it always pain and loneliness that follows me?
At least most times i still have my sanity.
So i'll keep my hopes folded up in my pocket.
And try not to lose the memories in my locket.
Maybe one day the light will shine through.
And i can muster up the courage to hold my head up and continue.

In a well orchestrated reality, how am i supposed to have the right mentality?
The end for me seems to be near.
And how i got here is becoming clear.
Who am i now that i don't wish for anyone to be near?
I guess i'll always be fragile.
If only i could learn to be a little more agile.
But now i'm stuck in this sequence.
It seems that everything is becoming my weakness.
Maybe i need someone to keep in my heart.
I guess i lied because i know love has always been the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
But everyone seems to be turning into shadows of faces i once knew.
Who knew my life would turn into such a disappointing hue?
What to do now? I really don't have a clue.
I guess i'll try to hold back the negativity as i try out these new shoes.

No one left, nowhere to go.
I just need to get out and find a new home.
Pain comes, and just as easily goes.
I always knew i'd end up alone.
No, i don't want your pity or anyone to save me.
I just need to find myself and maybe some company.
These bones are turning bitter, just in time for winter.
If i can find my happy place, i might be fine in this space.
I'm sick of the motions, this goes almost as deep as the ocean.
Who knew i had so much devotion.
But i guess when it's your life at stake, you really can't afford to make a mistake.
**** just get me out of this place.

It seems as though my emotions are making their great escape.
Believe me when i say i've tried to turn the page.
But there's nothing of value deep inside this rib cage.
Do people really feel this empty at such a young age?
What's to come if you can never fully immerse yourself in it?
Even when things are imminent, you find yourself wishing your feelings were infinite.
For years my new normal has been stuck in rock bottom.
But now that seems to be less of a problem.
Oh dear god what i would give to just be me again.
To feel like i've been taken apart piece by piece is the last thing i wanted when i set my mind to mend.
So where is the silver lining?
I guess i could just blame it all on bad timing.
I just wish trying to be me again wasn't so **** tiring.

And as time goes by I can only hope for someone to love.
As time runs out I can feel myself fading.
It's something that I might have trouble escaping.
As the days go by I find myself wishing I was enough.
But from what's going on I doubt I'll ever feel your touch.
So as I keep slipping away from reality, I'll just try not to think of my mortality.

So tear my chest open and see if I have a heart worth saving. People come and people go, always changing their mask.
Are they wearing one? I know you took yours off and burned it in the wreckage of your old self. But who is this new you?
What are you hiding now? Is it the loneliness that keeps finding it's way back? Or the brokenness that never ceases to appear when times get tough.
Well if what you're looking for is real, peer into my eyes, into my soul. Tell me who you see. I can't tell if it's even me.
So as I make my way through the wreckage of my life, I only hope to find the pieces that make me whole. And maybe, if I'm lucky, a soul worth sticking around for.

Maybe sometimes you think you have a chance at love. But then you stop and look around and realize you're not good enough.
Maybe you can feel them slowly walking away.
Don't let him know that you're not okay.
Maybe you know you'll never find love again.
But you've been through hell so don't stop trying to mend.
Maybe it was all just bad timing.
But with him you felt like shining.
Maybe you just need to get away.
You always dreamed of making your great escape.
Maybe you'll never escape the lonely lifestyle.
Just don't let yourself get stuck in the turnstile.

Isolated in this cold barren house.
Just trying to find my way out.
Faces are growing colder and colder,
Is it because I'm growing older?
I'm so sick of this place I want to run away.
But if I do I wonder if it will be safe.
Knocked down time and time again.
Doing nothing, no hope, no friends.
In the past there was always the hope to mend.
But I'm more empty, and the loneliness is creeping back in.
I keep finding myself dreaming about death.
What's there to lose? There's nothing left beating in my chest.
If I could find a way to go away peacefully, I doubt I'd miss the scenery.