When it feels like you're fading away.
And no one ever stays.
How are you supposed to spend your days?
When all you wanna do is feel.
But maybe you should spend your time trying to heal.
How do you find something real?
When you think you're worthless,
And your life seems to be in remiss.
Should you just write off everything to be dismissed?
When all you wanna do is get up and get out,
But you're filled with too much doubt.
How do you find a way out?
No one ever has all the answers.
But life shapes you into the person you are and who you will become.
So have hope and try to live the life you've been daydreaming about.

When everyone takes you apart piece by piece,
What do you do when you just can't leave?
Maybe it's all part of their plan..
But i just need to figure out where i stand.
When you've been searching so long for another to hold.
You realize that their game is getting old.
But somehow you feel that who you are is fading away.
I feel like i lost my chance to make my escape.
But what happened to all the love locked away inside your heart?
It's been stolen from you, and you can't help but to fall apart.
So what do i do to have a happy ending?
I don't know if i'll ever be happy so i guess i should try to get my love back and start mending.
But life keeps getting me side tracked.
And there's seldom chances to gaining what i lack.
**** what i would give to get all of my heart back..
But until i find someone whom i have a better connection,
I'll try to have a better connection, and try to find a better direction,
For my lost soul to finally stand my reflection, and hope that i can stop getting dissected into a projection of everything i could never be.

It seems i've been smiling more in these passing days.
But i can't help but hoping that i can escape.
At least i'm beginning to remember to dream.
It makes reality a little easier on my feet.
Even if i do have mostly nightmares,
And life doesn't always seem fair.
Sometimes i'll find someone who gives me hope.
And keeps my from wanting to jump with the rope.
If only i could find someone who felt the same way.
But feelings are fleeting and always seem to find a way to escape.
Maybe i have trouble getting close.
So why do i muster up so much hope?
I don't know where i'm going or who i'll find along the way.
But i really hope i find someone who wants to stay.
Maybe then i'll finally be free.
And try to live life the way it's meant to be.

When all your mind does is play petty little games.
How do you figure out a way to rearrange,
the pieces of you that made you who you are?
When all you do is try and you don't get very far.
How do you figure out which path to take?
But you're getting happier because everything seems to be getting less fake.
I guess i'll have to find more time to dream.
And try to stop my life from falling apart at the seams.

Always dealing with the voices in my head, wondering when they'll give it a rest.
They took all the good locked away in my chest.
And make me think things that i should digress.
So what's going to get unveiled in this mess i call life?
It seems i've been feeling more or less strife.
I just want to leave with my eyes set on the stars.
But i don't have as much heart so i don't know if i'll get very far.
I guess i should try harder as i hope for a happier ending.
I tried but things got worse, so what was the use in attempting mending?
So as i try to hold onto the hope i have left,
I'll try my best not to end up recessed.

The loneliness is creeping back in.
And the negative energy seems to be filling me up to the brim.
Why the **** did i have to have so much hope.
I should have known it would have only been a matter of time until i choke.
You made me see how beautiful it can be to feel something.
But you walked away like everything was nothing.
Maybe i was blind, maybe you knew the game you wanted to play.
Every aspect of my life feels like a sick charade.
Deception around every corner and everyones in on the play.
I'm so sick of getting caught up in the middle of everyones games.
I guess i'm stuck overthinking because you won't let me back in.
But i know i would be happier if you would just talk to me again.

I felt like I was about to be set free.
You made me think you could be what I need.
But I did what I do best and ****** it up again.
If I could make things better I would want to try to be around you again.
But I'm a hopeful romantic always falling so fast.
Maybe one day I'll find someone who wants to make something with me last.
And until I can try to be a better fit.
I'll try to figure out where it is that I sit.

So what do you see when you look in the mirror?
Self doubt? Guilt? Fear?
What do you do when you're not you.
And everything is just some sick charade.
On the weak they play
And it goes on day after day.
While everyone expects you to be okay.
But there's no way out.
It's a well thought out hoax.
No this isn't a joke.
How the **** do I still have hope?
I know I want to live so why do I find myself wanting to tie the noose around my throat?
So how do I get out of this Web of chaos?
It's so quiet that no one ever sees the loss.
Loss of self.
Loss of consciousness.
Loss of thought.
Worst of all loss of heart.
Did I have anything to begin with?
Or is it all part of their plan?
I don't know what to do anymore my dreams are turning into sand.
So I guess I'll take whatever hope I have left whether it be true or false.
I have to try anything I can not to succumb to the rope.

I don't know where I'm headed but there might be hope.
Maybe I'll find something real and not feel the need to tie the noose around my throat.
I feel less alone but a little more lonely.
Everything about my life just seems so ******* phony.
I guess it's true when they say that in this life nothing is ever as it seems.
In these shoes all you can do is dream.
Even when your life is falling apart at the seams.
And you're unsure if people say what they really mean.
So what do I do to try to give my life some meaning?
My life is a mess I guess it's all a little too deceiving.  
So I guess I'm selfish for wanting to get my life back.
Who has the answers because it's almost everything that I lack.
I guess I'm just not cut out for this life.
But I'll try my best to find the answers and try not to take my life.

Trying to find my way out of this endless spiral.
I know i'm at fault too but this isn't denial.
So many people wearing masks.
And i'm still left searching for a happiness with the potential to last.
I know i used to be ready to end it all.
But every time i try to get up it's just a matter of time until i fall.
So what if there was a way to live the life of my dreams?
I try and try, but nothing is ever as it seems.
Faces come into my life but still nothing is clear.
Things might be getting worse, but i'm finding i have less fear.
I still don't know where i'm going but somehow i'm finding clarity.
Having friends in this life somehow feels rare to me.
So as i try my hardest to find some direction,
I'll hope things get better, including my sense of recollection.
And in each passing moment i'll try to get myself back.
Just so i can finally stop taking things for granted, as i try to gain what i lack.

Been running away for most of my life,
Always turning back to feeling the blade of the knife.
Getting older is making me grow colder.
No one to turn to but my own lonely shoulder.
But somehow none of it seems that bad.
Maybe it is and that's why nothing ever lasts.
I don't know where i'm going but i hope i get there soon.
Maybe if i'm lucky i'll find a hand to hold onto.
But i can never hold onto the same shoes.
And maybe that's why i'm always searching for clues.
But i'm finding that i'm running out of hope to continue.
And lately i've been mostly numb.
To death will i succumb?
I always feel like it follows me around.
Maybe that's why i feel safer in a crowd.
But what is life if you have no real connections?
I guess i need to figure out a way to change the direction.
Maybe it's all about the perception.
But until i find a way to feel better about my disarranged life.
I'll try my best to have hope and get rid of this strife.

Walking down these staggering roads.
And i'm starting to feel a little less alone.
I'm just trying to melt my heart of stone,
So maybe one day i'll have someone to hold.
But lately I've been feeling more or less cold.
But some seem to brighten my day, and I know it could never get old.
So where do I go with my eyes set on the stars?
I used to have so much love in my heart. and now i'm not sure if i'll get very far.
I guess i'll just have to deal with my cards.
As I hope and try to get back all of my lost heart.

Been trying so long and my dreams are shattered.
All of this makes it seem like none of this ever mattered.
So how do I get out of the pit I’m in?
This is so ****** up and I’m left with the weight of my actions and sins.
I don’t even know if I have enough love to give.
I don’t know why but without it I can’t seem to live.
So why am I stumbling through life still trying?
What’s left of my soul seems to be withering away and dying.
Where am I going? There aren’t many people I can call friends around.
At least I’m not that lonely anymore but it’s still hard to get used to the sound.
So I’ll try to stand up and make it through the chaos.
And hope that I don’t get completely lost.

The pain comes in times where i need it most.
But the rest of the time i'm numb, just thinking of ways to get the lost feelings back.
What if my fate is to drag around a lifeless body just searching for someone who understands me?
Well in this life there's no way to tell.
They say everything happens for a reason.
But could there ever be a reason to be stripped of everything that you are?
Is there meaning in taking someone's life from their grasp without giving it a second thought?
Well i guess some minds could justify what others would call cruel, or worse.
But until my time truly comes, i'll keep trying to be me.
Hoping i don't lose anymore feeling, as the rest of my life gets taken and locked away from out of my reach.

Somehow i'm still breathing and i don't know why.
I feel as though i'm running out of time.
Just hoping maybe someday i can call someone mine.
But something deep inside me wants me to die.
So as i sit here wishing for the storm to end,
I'll just focus on being me and trying to mend.
I don't know if i can do this, everything feels pretend.
But heaven knows it won't get better unless i'm graced with a godsend.

My world is burning right before my eyes.
How do i tell the difference between truth and lies?
It seems i'm slowly coming out of this trance.
I find myself wanting to hold your hand.
Is there a way out of this chaotic spiral?
I'm filled with self doubt, at least it's not denial.
So as i try to fix this disastrous life.
I'll do my best to keep my wrists away from the knife.
And maybe it's not as bad as it seems.
But if you look closer i'm really falling apart at the seams.
Just come find me in my dreams.
And maybe i'll be able to find myself and get rid of the silent screams.

Taking a trip down memory lane.
This all feels like some sick game.
And even i'm one to blame.
For falling through the cracks, i guess everyone's more or less the same.

I've been wishing on stars for a better start.
Hoping i won't fall apart.
How do i get back the love in my heart?
I'm left with damaged lungs and i'm not very smart.

So as i think about all of my mistakes,
Wishing i could fix them and change my fate.
I'm realizing that i'm a few years too late.
So i'll try to have more than false hope, maybe then they'll let me past the gate.

Falling down further into the pit. It doesn't matter where i sit. No longer feeling as deep as the ocean. Losing all of my devotion. This life of mine is so distorted. And i'm losing myself as i'm becoming so contorted.

Again it seems like i'll always be a loner.
As the days pass i'm getting more ****** up and not to mention colder.
I can't wait till all of this is over.
Tie the noose around my throat and take the final leap.
Things are far worse than perceived.
So tell me what's left in this life for me?
Hell knows that no one will grieve.
I just hope i can climb that tree.
Just so i can finally be at peace.
But what went so wrong that my life was always so unspeakably dreadful?
All of this is just so regrettable.
As everything keeps making itself clear in my mind,
I find myself wishing it was my time.
So i guess soon i'll just have to say goodbye.
Even though i never had anyone that stayed this time.
But the weight isn't so bad because i have no options left and it's helpless to try.

And I know I push people away.
But something tells me they never wanted to stay.
So I’ll try to pass the time and find some meaning in this life.
It’s been so long since I’ve felt the blade of the knife.
Maybe the days of self harm are gone.
But I’m still left searching for a happy song.
But will I ever find someone to bring me home?
I think what’s melting is my heart of stone.
But something tells me I might have to stay alone.
Everything’s a mess and I can’t crack the code.
So as I try to find someone to help me pass the time, I’ll keep on fighting this losing battle until maybe I can call someone mine.

Living with a broken spirit.
I’m left in tears, hoping no one hears it.
How much longer till they rid me of this place?
I can never really keep a genuine smile on my face.
So what’s left of my fate?
Something tells me it’s too late.
I know I need to save myself but I don’t know how.
So I guess when I reach the pit of hell I’ll take my final bow.

It seems i've lost my heart and soul somewhere in this mess.
I just want to be me again and be done with all the rest.
But who am i really?
I've done my fare share of sinning but i can't be the only one who's guilty.
So where do i go when i've got next to nothing left?
There is no good left locked away inside my chest.
So what happened to feeling so deeply?
I'm not too sure, but at the bottom is where they're keeping me.
I have my eyes set on love, but do i have any to give?
If i don't, how do i get it back? I need it to live.
But who could love someone as disturbed and unfit?
I'm running out of options, where is it that i sit?
So until i can get out of this cesspool i live in,
I'll do my best to fix this, and not to sin.

I never wanted anyone's pity.
Maybe i was stuck in a trance for most of my life.
And maybe that's why i can't bear to take my own life.
But something in me wants to end it all.
Is it just me, or has it taken far too long for me to fall?
I don't know where i'm going and i can't take this anymore.
I'm growing too weak from carrying all this weight, how long before i get sore?
It's like i have a piece of almost everyone i've known.
And i guess it's time to reap what i've sewn.
But something tells me no one deserves a life like this.
I don't care anymore, i know i won't be missed.
So why can't i just let the abyss consume me?
I guess i just have to be strong and keep moving.
But where the hell is there left to go?
It can't be just me who hates being alone.
So i guess i'll have to muster up the courage to tie the noose around my throat.

I know i need to get up and get out.
But i'm filled with false hope and too much doubt.
I can't help but think i need to end it all.
I just wish i meant enough to someone for them to call.
I guess you could say i have friends.
But i can't stop thinking about the end.
Maybe that's why i'm such a bore.
And my mind keeps leading me to believe the end will be filled with gore.
I guess i'm breaking down more than i thought.
But i know i'll never get closer to what i've sought.
So how do i try to give my self a happy ending?
I guess i'll never know because i'm always stuck mending.
But who i was feels like it's gotten carefully taken apart.
I would gladly take back my broken heart.
Just so i know that i wasn't always falling apart.
But now i know there is nothing but hate for me.
I guess i'll have to forget about finding a key.
So why can't i keep all the good memories in mind?
I guess it's because nothing has, or is going to work out this time.

The mind games seem to never end,
Now it seems i'm waiting for a godsend.
But who would want to save someone like me?
I guess i'm desperate to find a key.
But is there anything to unlock deep inside my chest?
I think i'm just pathetic so i should forget about the tests.
What if by some miracle i really was enough?
Do you think i could ever find someone to love?
Why does it always have to be about finding another.
I wish i could get back my sense of wonder.
There's nowhere to go except down the clean cut path.
I just want to find meaning, i want it to last.
Where's the rush in doing everything so simplistically?
I guess it's the only thing that could keep my life from ending sadistically.

Spring is in the air.
And my heart is aching for love.
No more weeping sounds like the mourning dove.
My bones are growing weak, and I know I’m not enough.
Who could love a soul as damaged as the one I carry?
But everything is more or less arbitrary.
Most of the time I find myself feeling numb.
No longer to the knife I will succumb.
I have my eyes set on leaving this place.
Maybe then you’ll find me with a smile on my face.
So as I search for someone to help me pass the time.
I’ll try my best to brush the dust from my clothes as I do my best to shine.

The days go by and each hour gets worse.
There’s very little pain but I still feel cursed.
So much hate is filling up my heart.
I tried to get better but I still fell apart.
So where do I go in this orchestrated mess?
There’s no good in my life, and very little in my chest.
I just wish I could get away.
But this problems are building up, it’s getting worse by the day.
if I could get out of this town I might have more hope.
But I’m drowning here, can anyone pass me a rope?
But it seems that I have no one to trust.
It took some time but I learned how to adjust.
How do I figure out life and try to make the most of it?
I’m trapped and I don’t know if it matters where I sit.
Oh what I would give for this to all be just a bad dream.
My life is disasteriously unraveling at the seams.
And no one will ever care how loud I scream.

With a broken spirit and no mind left,
How am i supposed to feel the heart beating in my chest?
With emptiness flowing through my veins,
How am i supposed to appreciate the sun or the pouring rain?
Nothing but enemies everywhere i go.
And i'm stuck walking around with nothing but false hope.

There's nothing i want more than to feel as deep as the ocean.
I'm always left alone with nothing and no one and so much devotion.
But what's left to give when everyone's gone and left?
I can't feel anything deep inside my chest.
Stuck living my life as an emotionless wreck.
I'm nothing more in this world than a valueless speck.

So as the days keep passing me by in this melancholic mess.
I'll continue to try to give my life meaning, and do away with the stress.

So i'm left with an anguishing heart.
I guess the way things are going i won't fall apart.
I just wish i didn't have to go through life alone.
All of this is making me turn to stone.

So as i keep searching for a lasting love.
I'll try to rid my life of the meaningless encounters i'm starting to get sick of.

Keep getting dragged down into the abyss.
I know my time is coming and i know i won't be missed.
How the **** did i end up in the middle of all of this?
This is all something of remiss.

So how do i find a better road to take?
No matter where i go i can't find an escape.
People trying to get back in but i closed the gate.
I want to trust someone, anyone.. But i feel like it's too late.
Is there anywhere left to go? Or is this just my fate?
I wish i could start over with a clean blank slate.

So as i try not to get consumed in this petty tragedy,
I'll accept that there never was and maybe never will be a key.
Maybe now i can try to regain my sanity,
As i try my best to be free.

My soul is filling up with hate.
Something i can never escape.
I just want to run away.
Because i know i'll never be okay.
I guess i'm a drifter, with no one to trust.
**** them all i'm done with temptation, so i'll try to rid myself of all this disgust.
It's because of them who made me unable to adjust.
I guess i always knew i would at most never end up with much.
But i guess i'm at fault too for never quite fitting into these shoes.
So what is there left to do?
There's no hope to continue.
Just a web of lies.
Well orchestrated with different options for each one of them and their disguise.
So what's left in their appalling plan?
I just need to find my way out but i don't think i can.
I'm done trying to be a better me.
There is no key, and i'm losing my sanity.

Stumbling around trying to get past this bend.
Problem after problem, when will the subliminal fuckery end?
I sometimes keep finding myself wanting to leave everything behind.
But something in me forces me to hide.
Deceivingly friendly faces almost everywhere I go.
Tell me now, is there any hope?
I got through the last bend, took the noose from my throat.
But something tells me i'm still gunna choke.

Somehow I’m finding that I’m still kind of okay.
But how can life get so dreadful day after day?
Looking back at my life it feels like a well thought out trick.
I need a new foundation but where are the bricks?
If only I could start over or find more stable ground.
Am I falling down further?
They’re all trying to make me drown.

So as I tread these trepid waters I’ll try to get to shore.
Trying my hardest to fix these problems at the core.
Maybe one day the dread will get washed away.
And maybe I’ll have the courage to find someone who stays.
But until I find a way to save myself,
I’ll try to make my life feel less like a personal hell.

In a waking nightmare how do you dream?
How can i make it easier to breathe?
In a life full of hate, how can i change the pace?
I just wanted to try to live a good life, and not get erased.
So how do i stop the never-ending doubt?
I'm stuck in this abyss and no one can hear me shout.
Getting dragged down further as the days go by.
Seldom friendly faces with pretty little lies.
How do i rebuild and find some purpose?
Somehow none of this ever feels worth it.
I just want to find happiness.
I just want it to last.
But it seems my mind is stuck in the past.
I don't know where to turn, all that's left is an empty glass.
So i'll try to pick myself up just one more time.
As i try to fix all of this and not get pulled under the tide.

My life is falling apart at the seams.
It’s much worse than anyone else perceives.
My soul once vibrant is turning cold and black.
Oh what I would give to get back all the things that I lack.
What would I have to do to fix my crumbling world.
I always had hope for something beautiful to unfurl.
But as time goes by life gets worse and worse.
I’m not sure what happened but somehow none of this hurts.
Trying to find the courage to get up and get out.
But I’m stuck in this sequence with too much doubt.
If I could find the strength to put myself back together, maybe I’d be able to change the weather.
But until I can make myself whole again, I’ll try to get my life back and never come back here again.

When you’re left out on your own,
With nothing but a heart made of broken stones,
How do you find a place to call home?

When all you try to do is grow,
And nothing but negative feelings show,
How do you create your own rainbow?

When the world seems against you,
How do you make it through?
When you’re often feeling blue.

But you don’t know what to do,
Because you haven’t got a clue,
Why it feels like everyone hates you.

Tell me, what would you do?

Falling back through all of my mistakes.
And I bet you guessed I feel mostly hate.
No hope to go on.
So why am I trying?
Never got better, just masked the idea of dying.
Hell knows I won’t be missed when my time comes.
Why can’t I just appreciate the rising sun?
So as I keep trying to pick myself up,
I’ll try to forget about the fact that I’ll never be enough.

Another day walking around aimlessly.
But all there’s left is shame you see.
I ****** it all up and there’s no turning back.
I guess I need to reconstruct a new map.
Will I ever figure out where it is that I’m going?
I’m so ****** up and it’s always my feelings that are showing.
The doubt is growing.
The fear I’m holding.
The abyss is unfolding.
So what’s next in this orchestrated mess?
I guess I’ll just have to keep going and hold onto what’s left in my chest.
Forget about the rest.
And try not to think about the disasters that could unveil themselves next.

When your life constantly knocks you down,
It’s hard to wear anything other than a frown.
I know I’m down, but am I out?
My whole being is filled with doubt.
I find myself slipping into the depths of rock bottom.
Will I be able to make it till autumn?
Something tells me that it doesn’t matter.
And every part of my mind is scattered.
So I guess all I can do is try to get out of this pit.
And try to make it another day but I know I won’t be missed.

It seems you’ve strung together a handful of lies.
It was never me wearing a disguise.
My mind keeps me believing it was all just a beautiful lie.
But now the truth is unfolding and all I can do is hide.
You said it never happened, but the memories are real.
I guess now all I can do is forget about you and heal.

Images of you are haunting my thoughts.
**** them all I’m nothing but distraught.
Terrors from my nightmares are haunting the room.
How much longer before I’m consumed?
I guess now I want to rid you from my life.
How much longer until I reach for the knife?
Just let the warm stream flow down my arm.
But I know I’m only looking for harm.
I guess this life was never meant for me.
And there’s no way in hell you were ever the key.
I don’t even have my sanity.
So just let me fade away completely.

Always feeling like I’m never worth it.
I know I ****** up but you gave me a sense of purpose.
I really hope you’ll have a change of heart.
Because without you I know I’ll fall apart.
But I don’t blame you if you want to close the door.
I’m swimming in regret, and I guess I’m selfish for wanting more.

Sleepless nights get me no closer to feeling at home.
Maybe it’s cause I miss you but I know I have to stay alone.
So where is life taking me now?
All I can hope for is not to drown.
I’ll keep our memories locked away in my heart.
As I hope for neither of us to fall apart.
So as I keep wandering down these staggering roads.
I’ll hope our door doesn’t completely close.

I still love you,
But something wasn’t right.
I still love you,
It’s hard to make it through these nights.
I still love you,
I just wish I could make things right.
I still love you,
And I hope you’re alright.

It hurts that you want to purge me from your life.
I guess there’s no telling what I’ll do with the knife.
Something tells me you hold nothing but hate for me.
I guess this was all wrong and we were really never meant to be.
I still wish we could still communicate through our poetry.
But as far as life goes, I’m down and out and just trying to keep my sanity.

I’m at war with myself, living in my own personal hell.
I’m so far gone that all I can do is dwell.
You were the only thing that could brighten my days.
But I’m left wondering if you really wanted me to stay.
Either way I’m sorry for leaving.
At least we’re both still breathing.
So as I try to piece myself back together,
I’ll hope my brittle bones can withstand the weather.
I’ll keep you in mind from time to time, when it seems like the sun won’t shine.
But as the time keeps ticking away,
I’ll hope we both end up okay.

It seems my mind won’t stop until I tear my world apart.
If only I would have known this from the start.
So what’s left?
There’s barely any feeling inside my chest.
It makes me wonder if there will ever be a key.
You were all I wanted, all I thought I would ever need.
But I think I have to leave.
If I want to keep my sanity.
I don’t want to hurt you but holding on is hurting me.
Who knew this would cut so deep?
So I’ll hope you get to where you need to go,
As I try not to tie a noose around my throat.

You opened the door for me back into your life.
I couldn’t be happier, and there’s no more strife.
It felt almost blissful when you held me in your arms.
I promise you this, not to do what’s between us anymore harm.
Your kiss brought me back to life again.
From being cold and alone and just trying to mend.
Something tells me that time might be on our side.
So maybe together we won’t have to hide.
Your smile still shines as bright as before.
So I’ll try to heal your scars and Try to even the score.
You put stars in my sky and I could never ask for more.
So please don’t think that you’re ever a bore.
Maybe you really have the key to my heart.
So I’ll hold you close as I hope that life won’t tear us apart.

I don’t blame you for walking away.
But I can’t say it’s not killing me that you couldn’t stay.
I think you’re stronger than you think.
So let your feelings flow with the ink.
I know we had something worth keeping.
It’s just so hard without you so I keep grieving.
But I know you were right in leaving.
Even if it’s not you that I can keep seeing.
I still wonder about you as the days go by.
Even though I sometimes question if it was all just a beautiful lie.
You made me want to break out of my cocoon.
Maybe it all just happened a little too soon.
I’m standing on the edge hoping I don’t drag you down too.
I never wanted anything but the best for you.
And that’s why without you, my world is painted blue.

There’s such hate in your words.
Tell me, how did you really feel?
I’m lost in this mess, just trying to regain the lost feelings I kept locked in my chest.
Now I’m left feeling numb.
To the darkness will I overcome?
I guess time will tell.
As I try to get out of this personal hell.

The ghost of you hides in my closet.
The feeling of you lingers, but I keep thinking I lost it.
So how do I move on and rebuild.
I’m stuck with all the memories and some of the guilt.
You made me a better version of myself.
But I’m left chasing the past and I’m stuck in my personal hell.
I’ll always keep a piece of you in my heart.
But I still can’t believe that you let me tear us apart.
I knew it was me that lost any hope of you being the key.
I just wish you never wanted to leave.
So I’ll keep believing that you really did want me.
And I’ll keep treading through these hopeless waters trying to retain my sanity.

These days life never seems worth it.
I’m still wandering around searching for my sense of purpose.
I don’t want to but I think I have to rid you of my life.
Either way it’s getting me no further away from the knife.
If only I could get out of this negative spiral.
But I’m still living with all of this self doubt and denial.
Will I ever find someone who will stay?
Something tells me I won’t and that’s why I’m never okay.
So I’ll still wish the best for you in whatever you decide to do.
As I break in these shoes hoping I can find the strength to find something new.