How do I get up and get out of this pit?
I’m running out of places to sit.
It feels like a never ending downwards spiral.
There is no denial.
The masquerade won’t let me break free.
If only I could just see, the beauty in life but there is none around me.

Drowning in stress,
Will I succumb to death?
Why won’t they give it a rest?
Because no one deserves any of this.
How do I overcome my impending fall?
I feel like smashing my head against the wall.
But that wouldn’t solve anything at all.
I wish I could get away but I have no one to call.

The pieces are rearranging, I just wish I could get stuck in a daydream.
All of this seems a little crazy, and it’s hard to fathom why everyone hates me.
So how do I put myself back together?
I don’t even feel right in my favourite sweater.
I don’t want to treat everyone as just a letter, but I try and try and I don’t think I’m getting better.
So I guess I’ll just hide in my sleep, as the lulling of whiskey puts me at ease.

So i guess i'm the bad guy.
Hiding from the masquerade, they play night and day.
But when will things turn to a brighter shade?
I don't know if i'll ever be okay.
At least i'm more or less sane.
But i just want to run away.
Keep my eyes set on the skyline, not keeping track of time.
Try to live a life that's truly mine.
But is there enough time?
I've lived my life fearing my demise.
So i spend most of my time trying to break free or hide.
Well, i guess when the plot leads me into thinking i'm doomed i think i just need to see life in a different hue, but there's little hope to continue.
I just wish i knew what to do, but i can't find my shoes.

How do you live your life if you fear what hides in the shadows?
How do you get by when the days just start to melt together?
How do you make something of yourself when you're stuck in a downwards spiral?
Maybe one day you'll find some answers, but you can't live if you're stuck in a daze.
Maybe it's not a daze, but more so a series of orchestrated events.
Maybe you need to learn how to feel the heart beating in your chest.
But until you learn how to feel like you once did before you got taken apart, you need to try to make a new start.
And try to deal with these unpleasantly distressing cards.
As you hope and try to get back all of your lost heart.

So much fuckery I just want to scream.
Why can’t all of this be just a bad dream?
My life for too long has been falling apart at the seams.
And I still can’t figure out what all of this means.
What kind of people leave someone so crippled in life?
It’s just a continuous struggle that’s just a ripple of strife.
I can’t even make anything of my contradicting life.
Because all anyone does is lead me to the knife.

So much confusion, I hope it’s all a delusion.
Can’t even get lost in thought, I know it’s the truth that I always sought.
But now things are getting hazy. And life can seem a little crazy.
But I guess my whole life I’ve been stuck in a day dream.

I just want to get lost gazing at the stars,
Go on a drive and hope the destination isn’t too far.
Watch the sun rise and maybe the sunset too.
But I don’t know where I’m going, not one clue.
So as I try to find some beauty in this seemingly chaotic world, I’ll keep waiting to witness something beautiful unfurl.
But what’s left in the mess of my life?
I don’t want it to be this way but I have to keep my wrists away from the knife.

Why do I always focus on running away?
Maybe it would be therapeutic on an autumn day.
But I guess it’s about time to learn how to handle the rain.
I can’t tell if it’s worse than it seems but I want to make a change.

Creaky floorboards, tapping sounds.
Is anyone here? What’s around?
I keep a light on to keep myself sane.
Why is my life a never ending game?
The days are turning blurry and the nights are hard.
Why can’t I figure out how to deal with these cards?

Try to appreciate the sun like the little joys in life.
You never know if the day will come when you’re filled up with too much strife.
Just let the beach waves dissolve all your fears.
Because no one knows when your time will come so don’t waste your time with tears.
I know it sounds cliche but it’s the little things in life that make it count, so try to make happiness your ideal sound.

Where do I go where my shadow won’t follow me?
I can’t find myself and I’m scared of what’s next it seems.
I just wish I could find a better direction.
In hopes it could help with my scattered reflection.
But what’s going on in the world around me?
I notice things and hope I’m not the only one who sees.
So why do things have to get so out of hand?
I just wish I could make people see that there are other ways to stand.

The plot seems twisted around every bend I pass.
Where am I going? I don’t want this breath to be my last.
But the masquerade gets more deceiving almost every day.
Why can’t I find it in me to make a better change?
But I’m stuck in their clutches, and they’ve taken almost every bit of me.
I just want to make it out alive, I just need to figure out how to see.
So as I try to make sense of this mess of mostly strife, I’ll just keep trying to win back myself and my life.

Taken apart piece by piece, why isn’t there room to grow?
I lost my mind, I lost my heart, and what about my soul?
So how do I get out of this mess I call my life?
I feel like a dead corpse, just stumbling around with seldom sights.
It seems that every feeling I ever get to feel, gets ****** right out of me.. **** I just want to feel real.
But with every fibre of my being, slowly being taken away.
There’s little hope to continue, so I guess I’ll just continue trying to be okay.

It’s an orchaestrated mess and I never had a chance.
Why did I ever think I could have another dance?
I don’t know where to go but I know I can’t stay here.
No matter what happens I know I have to stop running away from fear.
So where can I go in hopes of a better song?
I don’t really know what’s going on but it’s all so ******* wrong.
I guess I’ll see what cards I’m dealt next, because not even I know why this is such a mess.
So as I muster up any ounce of courage or hope that’s still locked away,
I’ll keep just trying to have at least one better day.

The words fly by with senseless hate.
How can I escape?
A prisoner in my flesh, a prisoner in my home. I don’t even care that I’m mostly alone.
The lies are machinated in an orchaestrated plot.
Where is the truth? It’s all I’ve ever sought.
As I try to unravel this spoiled mess.
I’ll try to be my own light and try not to feel so much stress.
But I carry so much weight on my shoulders, I’m at a loss and I’m only growing older.
So as I hope that people will come to their senses, stop the hate and the petty **** and hopefully none of this will stay in remiss.

What is it like to love and be loved?
I think it feels like the stardust from above.
What is like to be truly free?
I’ve been lost for so long I forget what it means.
Maybe I could live a better life in my dreams.
Because nothing is ever as it seems.
And I know I probably won’t find a key,
Because as things are unfolding I’m becoming less me.
So while I try to find a happier tune to sing,
I’ll try to chase the beauty in life and the peace that it brings.

Maybe one day I’ll feel the ocean water on my toes, and I’ll end up feeling like I’m finding my way home.
Maybe I’ll finally start to touch the stars, But my soul is lost and I lost most of my heart.
But somehow I still have some hope, I know I don’t want to succumb to the rope.
So how do I find myself and be truly me?
It’s a smouldering mess and I’m in the middle of the crossfire it seems.
But I want to try to make this life count, and life the rest of my life with a little less doubt.
So as I wrap myself in my favourite sweater, I’ll keep trying to win my life back to withstand the weather.
And put myself back together, I just need to find the pieces and hope everything comes back together.

What is it like when every morning feels like a breath of fresh air?
When you’re not consumed in a fight that was always unfair?
What do you do when everyone is decieving?
I just wish I could find something, anything worth keeping.
How does it feel when you’re basking in bliss?
I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance to feel effervescent in a kiss.
Maybe time isn’t on my side.
But I need to muster up the courage not to only hide.
I need to get away and try to live a better life.
Instead of being consumed in this petty fight of my life.

The days are starting to melt together.
I keep wondering when things will get better.
The masquerade keeps me at the bottom.
What do I do, I just wish I could solve all these problems.
None of this makes any sense to me.
And I’m just trying to find better scenery.
So how do I break free from their grasp?
Will I ever get a taste of happiness that lasts?
I guess I need to learn how to get stronger.
Because things keep getting worse, and I don’t think I can take it any longer..

Sliding down this seemingly never ending downwards spiral, I’m just lucky I’m not in denial.
Why can’t I find something worthwhile?
My life is unfolding in a catastrophic sense.
But my mind is too slow, I’m just happy it’s starting to make sense.
So how can I crawl out of the hole they’ve been digging me?
It’s gotten so deep that there’s no light that I can see.
This life is a hoax I just want to be me.
And regain anything lost including my dignity.

All of this feels like torment. Where do I go next? Stumbling around through this chaotic mess. Who am I now? What’s left in my chest? I just wish I could figure out where I could move next.

What is death if not a fresh start?
Do you get a new chance after your body falls apart?
What about your soul?
Does it reach the stars?
Maybe we’ll never know but I want to go far.
If we get reborn will we dance in the rain?
I hope there are more chances because it can be hard to stay sane.
Maybe in each life we’ll be awakened by love.
And from us will eminate the stardust from above.
So as I keep trying to be the best version of me,
I’ll keep on believing in the beauty that is all around me.

Living my life as someone else, when can I be set free?
Stop acting like you know me, this is petty slavery.
All their lies and stories have been manipulated to be true, what’s there left to do?
My whole life I’ve been trapped in a losing battle, why can’t I find my shoes?
This cuts deeper than you think, will I ever find a way not to sink?
Why can’t I find my way out of their grasp?
I just need to find something, literally anything that lasts.

Why can’t I find myself?
Where did the pieces go?
Will I ever know who I am?
Or will I continue to keep losing hope?
I guess sometimes it comes back.
But it’s still me that I lack.

Deception is starting to feel normal.
What kind of world do we live in where everyone wears a mask, hides their true colours, and has a hidden agenda?
What happened to finding any sort of meaning?
Why is life so crude?
I’m left opposed to the general population.
What’s left?
No hope.
No soul.
I’m finding that I’d rather be alone.
Seldom friends, mostly foes.
What’s next is left to the unknown.
So as I try to find a change I’ll hope that life gets better someday.

Maybe someday I’ll meet someone with galaxies behind their eyes.
Maybe we’ll get lost gazing at the stars.
Maybe their soul will feel effervescent.
But until then I’ll stare at the moon, waiting to find some meaning in this universe.
Maybe someday I’ll feel the sun shine it’s warm rays and I won’t be so alone.
Maybe someday the constellations will make sense and I’ll finally find my way home.
But until someday comes I’ll just keep wondering.

Faces come and go, I’ve lost almost all my hope.
Will I ever have anyone I can count on?
I guess I’ll have to find another song.
But everything I do and say is wrong.
And I have no idea how I’m still going on.
I’m stuck drowning in a sea of misery and hate.
If only I could find a way to escape.
But no ones around, just locked gates.
Maybe one day I’ll come across someone with a smile on their face.
So until I find new scenery,
I’ll try to figure out what it means to be truly me.

This is more than a petty mess.
I want to leave and be done with all the rest.
No one to trust, this life is so cold.
I’m blinded by hate but this is getting so ******* old.
I feel like I’m crippled on this lonely path.
Not focusing on what breath will be my last.
I guess I’ll just end up a thing of the past.
But my life is so meaningless no matter the track.

When everything always seems to leave.
What do you do to change the world you perceive?
Is there somewhere I could go with a little more hope?
I feel like by the end of this there will be a noose around my throat.
But I want to try to make this life count.
A change in the rhythm, maybe another sound.
So how can I live the life I’ve always dreamed of?
Something tells me I’m not enough.
So as I try to change things for the better, I’ll try to put together different letters and hope that in the future I’m more put together.

What’s going to happen next in this series of unfortunate events?
The masquerade presents:
My untimely and overweening death.
So why am I sitting here writing these words?
My existence is a hoax, haven’t you heard?
So as I accept that probably everyone will never care,
I’ll try to appreciate this last bit of air.
While they pick someone else to run into their grave.
Hopefully next time they will be saved.

Broken home, feels like broken bones.
Im turning into stone and I just want to be alone.
Drink the hate and the pain away.
Hell knows I’ll never be okay.
I guess I’ll just try to make it one more day.
But I don’t want to go on.
There’s no point to find a happy song.
I’m always lost and trying to avoid their plot.
So I guess I’m more than distraught.
But I’m filled with hate, I just need an escape.
Walk the lonely path, until the last breath I gasp.

The days are dragging on and I’m struggling to find a happy song.
How can I move on when so much is wrong?
I feel like I’m close to death, if that’s true, why won’t they give it a rest?
So as I try to find a way to be okay, I’ll try to find another way to come to terms with the mess of my life.
As I try not to fade into the night.

It feels like I’m blind no matter what path I take.
Sometimes I come across friendly faces but now it feels like it was all fake.
All of this feels like a petty masquerade.
And every time I start to get up, I realize it’s only my life at stake.
What did I do to deserve this kind of fate?
I’m not the only one at fault but somehow they can only see me with blame.
so as the days go by I find that I feel a lot of shame.
Maybe it’s because of all the lies they tell, no one cares, it’s all the same.
So while they bury all the evidence and get their stories straight,
I’ll just hope I’m ready when I’m at the final stakes.

Stumbling through life feeling from others mostly hate.
I wish I could get out of this place, if only I could escape.
But I’m in their clutches and I don’t know if I can break free.
This is a ******* up hoax, and I need new scenery.
Why are so many people cruel with so many wrong intentions.
I wish I could get better and fix this mess but I’m stuck drifting in the wrong direction.
This hoax has me trapped in a hole.
I’m so numb, I don’t even feel sorrow.
So as I keep trying to deal with the mess of my life, I’ll continue to live out this dreadful mess.
Hoping one day to regain anything of value that was locked away inside my chest.

When you lose the ability to feel,
You wonder if you're losing yourself.
Will you survive the drought?
I know you're sitting here filled with doubt,
But do you have the strength to overcome?
I think i'm mostly numb.
And most times i come off as dumb.
But when it's hard to decipher your thoughts,
It's hard to leave everything you've fought.
So how do you find the truest version of you?
I know you don't want to continue,
Because they keep changing your shoes.
So how do you get yourself back?
It's everything that you lack.
How can you survive based on all of the lies?
Where do you go where you don't need a noose around your throat?
Just try not to choke on all of the lies along with their disguise.
And try to find yourself while you hope you won't run out of time.

What's left in this unfortunate string of events?
It's not only me who knows that nothing is left.
As things keep changing and i still can't see.
I find that i'm becoming less concerned with something i can keep.
So **** finding meaning.
**** everyone who's nothing but deceiving.
It's me who just wants to leave.
Be done with this petty *******, i need new scenery.
I guess i'm speaking with a little hostility.
But i know that's not truly me.
How do i breathe some life into this corpse i've been dragging around?
I'm on my last whim, so i guess i'll just have to get used to the sound.
So as i hope this life can breathe some life into those who feel despair.
I'll hope that the end isn't too brutal while i continue to breathe this last bit of air.

All that’s left are twisted morbid thoughts.
I guess their plan worked, so what’s left of the plot?
If only the good had a chance to rise.
Maybe then there wouldn’t be mostly lies.
I can’t say I turned out fine.
I’m so ******* scattered and I want to die.
So as I keep living until they decide my time is up.
I'm so sick of everyone and all of their bluffs.
so i guess I’ll try to be whatever part of me that’s left.
As I try not to think about whatever is going to happen next.

A life of deceit,
What a condescending feat.
I’m left crippled, deaf and blind.
Where does anyone have left to hide?
I found my way out of their disguise.
But now I’m running out of time.
I’m still searching for the real version of me.
But I’m lost in this mess and it’s hard to see.
So what’s left of their plan?
They’re becoming so predictable so I guess I know where I stand.
Cold and alone and lost at sea.
Whoever I was, they corrupted and buried, and thrown away the key.
So am I really being myself?
Their trick is so planned out and I feel mostly doubt.
why is the world so cruel?
I’ve burned myself out, I have no more fuel.
So in what feels like the end for me,
I’ll try to keep a smile on and focus on keeping my sanity.

When your whole existence is some sick charade, you get so ******* tired of the games they play.
Sometimes it gets better, but they never let you be okay.
Why does my life have to be a masquerade?
It seems everyone ends up being a renegade.

So how do I get up and try to feel something that’s mine?
I never knew it was so easy to run out of time.
So why am I always fearing my demise?
I guess it’s because for most of my life I’ve been mostly blind.

Friendly faces all around with ulterior motives.
All of this feels more or less erosive.
And I’m so far gone that I could care less about closeness.
The mess of my existence feels like a deep depth of the ocean.

So as I continue moving closer to the end.
I’ll stop hoping for a godsend.
Even though this mess was never truly only mine,
I’ll keep trying to make better use of my time.
While I keep trying to just feel.
Because there’s no way in hell I have it in me to fully heal.

Sometimes an ounce of hope shines through.
And it gives me the strength to want to continue.
But I always find out it’s just a hoax.
Will my demise come from the noose in the rope?

Always worrying about my demise.
I guess I’ve always known that there’s never enough time.
Will I ever get to witness the beauty of the world shine?
It’s all such a dark mess and I’m never truly fine.

So what’s left in the unfolding chapters of my life?
Is there hope to turn the page? Or will I continue to live a life filled with strife?

So I guess now all I can do is try to move past this.
Even though the last few months have been in remiss.
So as I try not to let their hate consume my being.
I’ll try not to spend all of my time grieving.

The days are getting longer as I’m dragging my lifeless corpse around.
What’s left in this chaos? Will there ever be a change in the sound?
I guess it’s not as bad as I think, but this petty tragedy is getting old.
**** what I would give to get back all of my soul.
The pit keeps getting deeper with illusions of getting out.
I’ve had it with this **** but I’m starting to have less doubt.
So where do I go to try to find some relief?
I’m filling up with hate and not to mention grief.
What’s the point in moving forward when I’m always being pushed back?
They’re ******* everything out of me, how do I gain what I lack?
Will I ever get it back?
So as I try to muster up any will to live I have left.
I’ll try to appreciate more the heart beating in my chest.

When you've lost most hope to go on.
And it's mostly senseless to be strong.
How do you find it in you to grow?
And most people around feel like foes.
What do you have left in your heart?
When all your life has come to is falling apart.
I wish i could move on and find somewhere to have a new start.

These days i've been trying to turn the page.
But everything stays more or less the same.
My life feels like a masquerade.
With friendly faces having alternate meaning.
My mind is so clouded i'm having trouble seeing.
How did everything come to this?
Everything is more or less in remiss.
I know my conscience isn't clean either.
But everything is happening in such a negative demeanour.

So how do i fix the mess of my life?
I guess i'm in too deep cause i can't even turn to the knife.
But i don't want to try anymore i can't take this it's breaking me down.
It's been happening so long and i still can't get used to the sound.
Of all the the chaos that never fails to find it's way back.
Was it ever me that i lost? Do i deserve to gain what i lack?
So as i try to fix the mess of my heart mind and soul.
I'll hope life doesn't take the final toll.
Of ending my already meaningless life.
I wish i could just find my way out and get rid of all of this strife.
As i keep working towards trying to live a better life.

When everything seems to be crashing down.
And your soul is just being dragged around.
Can what’s lost ever be found?
I know there’s no way in hell I could ever get used to the sound.
So what do I do to pick myself up off the ground?

My eyes are starting to fill up with hate.
With the fact that these bends are showing through my merciless fate.
I just wish I could find a way to escape.
Find some meaning and not be trapped in this place.

So until I’ve finally reached my end.
Through pills or blades or some unspeakable end.
I’ll try to find some good in the world.
Cause there’s no hope for something good to ever unfurl.
I’m just a damaged lost and broken girl.
Who always thought there was more beauty in the world.

Another day getting dragged through the dirt.
I guess this is life, but somehow it doesn't really hurt.
The masquerade is plotting against me.
And i've lost most hope to finding a key.
I'm struggling to get out of this pit.
And i'm running out of places to sit.
So where do i go to change the plot?
I guess this game is more complicated than i thought.
I guess i don't feel all that distraught.
But my mind, body and soul have gone through enough to want out.
Even if i am filled with mostly doubt.
I guess sooner or later i'll need to decipher a new route.
So in these passing days i'll try to be happy.
And try not to fade away as i bring myself to safety.

Always trying to find my way out,
I'm finding that there is starting to be less doubt.
I can't say that i'm finding much clarity.
But how much more air do i get to breathe?
I can't say anyone will ever want me back.
It's far too much that i lack.
So why am i always dreaming of a better place?
Sometimes i guess i have a smile on my face.
But everyone in my life always seems to leave.
Or maybe it's the way in which i perceive,
The patterns of life, maybe it's abstract.
Maybe before i run out of time i'll be able to gain my life back.
So in these passing days i'll continue trying to dream.
And make my reality feel better than it seems.

All of these stories are flowing, how could it ever get boring?
I'm feeling like i can't see any of this me enduring.
But how will i stop the worry?
I don't know who to turn to, so where do i find some new shoes?
Maybe i can find it in me to figure out all of these clues.
If only i had it in me to grow, i wouldn't mind feeling mostly sorrow.
And maybe it's not that fact that i don't, i just have too much hope.
These feelings are fleeting and i've been stuck on mending.
It may not be worse than i think but i'm so done with pretending.
That these games are all that it seems, but i know that they're not.
Looking at the motions i'm far from distraught.
So where am i headed now with my eyes strung with hope?
I'm ready to start trying harder and not tie the noose around my throat.
But everything changes so far from what i had in mind,
I feel like i'm doing mostly nothing but wasting precious time.
So in these passing days i'll try to give all that i've got.
And try in the meantime feel less than distraught.

Stumbling past all of life's bends.
I don't know where i'm headed i don't know if i've begun to mend.
Sometimes you need to create your own weather.
And maybe sometimes it's best to bring a sweater.
But no matter what gets thrown onto your path.
You have in you some potential to last.
So fight like hell to get out of their grasp.
And try not to make this breath your last.

When you've lost your voice, and end up with no choice,
How do you make anything better?
I guess i should stop treating everyone as just a letter.
But when you have trouble deciphering the mess.
It's hard to figure out if there's any of yourself that you have left.
So what do i do to win back what was locked away in my chest?
I guess i should start to make my escape.
Even though i'm more or less of a disgrace.
So in the days to come i'll try to appreciate the rising sun.
And try to think less of all the questionable things i've done.

When life is conspiring against you how do you figure it out?
Things have changed too much and now you're filled with doubt.
When they take everything that made you who you are, how do you get out and find a fresh start?
But life keeps knocking you down,
And you've lost all of your heart.
So why don't I just take that final leap?
There's nothing in this world that I could ever keep.
Sometimes it's worse than it seems.
So I try to hide in my dreams.
But there's nothing left in this life for me.
No hope to find a key.
So I guess in the time I have left I'll try not to be such a mess.
As I try to deal with all of this distress.
As I try to prolong tying the noose around my neck.