~

Final memory



When death
on darkened skies
through my window
flies

My wish
in pleading sighs
is that before my
eyes

Your face
is what I see
of this last breath I
breathe

So nothing
else shall be
my final
memory

~

Dumb Founded

Falling
headfirst,
tumbling in the fever,
clawing at the sides,
though not really wanting to stop

(slowing the pace of pleasure)

Faster,
harder it comes,
long as it is wide,
visions pass in rapid colors,
scenes of grandeur and promise smile

(sandy shores whisper hello)

Deeper
into this world
I move, dreaming
carving a future
on an illusion’d desiring mind

(beautiful landscapes for two)

Endless?
So it seems,
for light emits
in rose colored filters
from reaches of heart shape eyes

(and I breathe in the exotic aroma)

Destiny,
fate holds
answers so long
of waiting and hoping,
when with a thud I reach the bottom

(no smiley face welcome mats here)

Darkness,
no one home,
only a muddied mirror hangs
swinging on a stone wall,
in its reflection is found my “deepest” fear

(I am indeed as dumb as I look)

~
Don't you cry tonight



Give me a whisper and give me a sigh

Those soft words following the emotions in your eyes
Exhaling poetry on my whimpered dreams
Take from me all that I can give while
reaching for that sunset…a distant prism of light

Give me a kiss before you, tell me goodbye

Soft lips in sad shapes, downturned towards darkened fears
Moist as they meet in wilted wishes
Walking away…a silhouette of that which I long for
As tears drift on questioned zephyrs

Don't you take it so hard now and please don't take it so bad

To know this feeling, I swear I don’t
Still calling out in echoed chants flowing naked valleys
Hoping you hear, praying you smile, asking you to listen
Before the moon fractures in cosmic sorrow

I'll still be thinkin' of you and the times we had...baby

Eternal visions find you and me, hand in hand
Dancing on quiet shores, melodic surf rhythms
In memories of what once was, what should be
and the stars drip into anguished teacups pleading

*Don’t you cry tonight…

~

Unlike you

Hovering like a gnat that finds a face irresistible
Swatting frantically does no good as
insects will be insects and annoying is part of their plan

As it seems each day I find a new offering unfolding its wings,
buzzing about with all of its ***** laundry,
as if poetry has become merely a tool to harass

Finding little folders to slide into…highlighting
each word of bin fodder, old but new
hoping for accolades in lemonade fashion

Funny how that works as bitter becomes the norm,
never letting go of that scent that attracts you…
whatever it is about the human aroma you find so pleasing

Perhaps it is that it will never be you…insect,
oh little gnat of warm summer zephyrs failing to flutter by
lost within the deep confines of a posies’ petals

To ruin our summer faire, our picnic in the sun
can not happen for you see we are happy
in our own skin, with its wondrous fragrance…unlike you

~

Fly Away


“Seagull, you fly across the horizon”

Parallel dreams and sifted thoughts
on an amber thread, thin as the beliefs
once found as hope, now falling
beneath sorrowed wings, gliding


“Into the misty morning sun”

Through hazy eyes and broken hearts,
tarnished memories flow within this dawn
as you fade off in the distance,
soaring ever higher, disappearing into the east


“Nobody asks you where you are going”

Silence fills the maze that is your mind, leaving you
staring at dead ends and fractured turns,
as the realization that you didn’t matter
forms on clouds of whispering truths…no one cares


“Nobody knows where you're from”

And in the end, you are not sure yourself
from where you once came, a blotted image
on empty shorelines of tangle debris
which you easily have forgotten, as you as well will be


“And you fly away…”

~

As evening takes my hand




“For in your light I dream, as evening takes my hand”

Silently I find my thoughts illumined by your beauty;
In soft shimmers of dancing silhouettes
and patterns allowing breaths to sigh

Eyes peer into velvet skies,
visions set in motion eternally, find me
stranded within the confines of my heart…longing for you
Desperate for but a breeze, a movement of shadow,
a hope of wishes made upon the early arrival
of this crested view

Lonely among the sycamore, towering soldiers
lined at fielded boundaries, claiming wisdom
as they too reach for your smile

“And I yearn the knowledge of your distant view”

Do you think, do you feel, do you dream of me
from balconies high above hibiscus footpaths,
candle lit in passing moments which flicker…enchant

Drinking from a porcelain cup caressed by your hand,
a touch my body pleads, soft fingers on smooth surroundings,
ripples following moonlight sonatas,
days of spring blooms and whimsical showers,
flooding affections to wash over me…
carry me home

This moon, suspended in charcoal heavens
upon a beaded blanket of perfect pearls,
beckons our dreams in simultaneous fashion

*“Does your heart share this moon tonight…with me”

~

Silent sentence

The silence is deafening
pounding this cartoon anvil
lodged somewhere in my head
echoing through empty chambers

A loud dose of nothing
calls to me in voiced undertones
resonating with the volume
of butterfly wings pinned to a board

My clouded eyes look,
hoping my ears are mistaken
wishing for only a sound
vibrating in this vast glass hallway

Wave lengths in shorter shadows
collect on mesh grilles
protecting weathered speakers
cracked and taped…yellowed

Tiny dots felt of faulting fingers
braile’d emotions screaming
along a page of discomfort…blistering,
dog eared for no reason at all

Stillness…that is all…stillness
no wind, no color, no movement,
as I wait for this that shall not come
alone…perhaps unheard by others

This it seems shall be my existence,
written in quiet ink…invisible to most
no lemon juice tricks this time
as I serve my sentence…in silence

~

On borrowed steps of distant stars
~



Of broken branch and multi-colored stone façade
the pathway steals my outward glance
Winding through the cottage hills
like kite string freed by a strong wind, it spills
Patterns shadow in abstract array
through barbed wire and solid steel
barricades, creating menacing shapes,
criss-crossing narrow wheel ruts of long ago


“I tug my trousers in defiance and set my pace”


Obstacles, of stead and stood,
branded in a wilting wood…
directions carved to empty me of all I know as good


Within my chest sits a living compass,
beating my quest in a never ending melody,
sweet as creamed corn pie and pointing
towards the sun, which sits before me
two hills above the horizon on this new day
Temptation beckons over my right shoulder,
whistling in the breeze of delicious
offerings, and I do hunger…


“Still I stand firm of my journey back to your love”


Take your glow of nectarines
Cool refreshing summer streams
For I shan’t waver, not an inch, her love calls in my dreams

Midday, as the solar glow finds my shoulders red
and sweat clings like life in dampened conclusions,
blisters form bringing the pain of decisions made before…
and I would have it no other way…for this I deserve
Mountains faced of jagged stone break my crawl,
rubble sweeps my feet, as my knees bleed,
thirst speaks in the language of a long feared enemy…
yet I do not listen…


“No challenge shall be placed that will keep me from my return to you”


State your case in hammered stone
Tear my skin of broken bone
No tethered vines of loneliness shall sway me from my home



My shadow now waits before me, long and slender,
molded by dried weathered foot prints…my foot prints,
heading a direction opposite my heart
Many years old yet still their outline remains as a warning…
When I see it, the lilac arbor, scented in old desires and
new in life, encasing a glow, melodies of  gold finch sing
as my eyes find your smile, an extended hand, a soft touch
I have found my way home…


“My sweet love, this heart begs forgiveness and longs you eternally”


Mistakes I’ve made, my journey far
on borrowed steps of distant stars
my every waking dream desires to be right where you are

~

Disintegrating dreams

I find I can no longer stand
as this ground about me shakes with might
Thunderous hooves of imaginary wild horses,
panting in heavy breaths, kicking dust before soiled eyes,
claiming to take down fences
of wire and stick, laying waste in sun dried foot prints
creating a mosaic of dream-like designs,
spiraling uncontrolled as the artist fades like fall colors
still trapping hopeless romantic thoughts,
locked within reach and just out of sight

Challenging the earth to steady the plates
suspended above me on thin shafts of deep desire,
spinning like clocks in an opposite direction
telling time it has no place here

Finding that truth is the enemy, I pull the drapes knowing
doorways will caress thresholds that keep out the draft yet allow the sunlight
to mimic the scattered shade cooling the needs
beneath a paper fortresses…and my heart sighs

For this is life, in its starkest reality,
and what was pictured in youth lingers in the minds of the old
Pasting cobwebs for effect and smiles not as genuine as they may seem
For the days pass and with them opportunities fly like a crying dove
as morning light counts another moment from this existence
Why does it seem that endless possibilities end, forever wishes
drown at the bottom of the well amidst even older pennies,
Patina claims the skin in the name of a love
found but not shared, carried upon shoulders,
as nothing else is left but to wait

and my dreams no longer wait for me

~

Going down

Handprints appear on these elevator doors,
smudged of grinder swirls, yet so very clear
Imprints of need and want lingering
on a stainless steel façade

Rounded numbers beg to be pushed,
no thirteen in this bunch
though appropriate it would be
as my luck has found its way to the lowest levels

Standing on this suspended platform
cables of strength weaken with each breath,
emergency exits laugh at my predicament,
as left again slowly reaches out for right

Before me you stand, tears on your cheeks
“It is the way it has to be,” you say
The doors close, while through a narrowing vertical slat
I see you walk away…my heart drops…palms on metal…

I can not keep them open…anymore
Going
D
O
  W
    N

I shout at the darkness
No response
No echo
No emotions
I shout again…louder this time
No whispers
No answers
No solutions
Once more I shout as loud as I possibly can
No understanding
No promises
No future
Then I realize the sad truth…

the darkness is me

~

Naked?

On an island
in the midst of the crowded street
Traffic lights blink
as colored tear drops hit the pavement

One way signs
all seem to point in your direction
casting aspersions,
via black and white arrows

Sidewalks filled
with throngs of gawking onlookers,
mouths wide open,
peering from the side of their faces

You hang your head,
chin against your unclothed chest
and you see
not one, but two shadows on the asphalt

Suddenly you are
draped in the finest cloth money can buy,
shielded from the audience
who now divert their attention elsewhere

Turning, you see a friend,
naked, as his clothing now adorns your body
waving to the crowd
proclaiming…I have faced the same fate

And I choose to breathe


And I choose to breathe for every breath is free
Calmly bound of tempted drizzled fears
Slow dancing on the desperate dying wind
Placing endless hope against the flow

This does come
beyond iron gates of broken trances
to sing
undying wishes upon the deaf ears

Fractured in meanings and senses known,
these wrinkles form a flavored mask
Donned in apprehension of a wilted feeling
Sleek and slender, along a poisoned vine they grow

Challenging
in endless streams of sorted need
Stead fast
with chains of charmed tethered truth

Cartoon headstones with scribbled crayon’d names
cast darker shadows beneath the edges of sanity
Ripped and tattered these empty voices scream
my name in echoes bearing nothing more than seen

As I cry
my tears sprout wings and flee from my face
to my knees
finding only the jagged earth to rest

Desires cling to the massive arbors of life
Dreams falter along a winding creviced cliff
Nothing laughs like the air upon my sorrowed face
and I choose to breathe for every breath is free

~

At my expense


Sawdust coated planks of worn grain and smooth edges find
toes tapping inside hard brown leather shoes,
not polished since Sunday’s *** luck
allowing scuffs formed on lonely sidewalks
to glow beneath the lights, suspended over head

The din of the crowd plays to my nerves, (I peek from the side)
Aunt Lucy’s pleated skirt moves involuntarily
with her words as she gossips to anyone who will listen
Politicians shake hands as they take the prime seats,
balding heads blocking views and causing children to giggle

Sweat beads, runs, drips on my rented suit,
speckles of gray on white linen, charging the heat
with reckless abandon as creases relax
and I adjust my belt with the precision
of the previous wearer

Thick fabric, paisley and purple, stained by age but still
magnificent in appearance, hide me from the gathering
of locals and visitors alike…when I hear the band ring up,
happy go lucky music brings this sense of urgency
to my ever quickly beating heart

Stage hands bounce back and forth and a thumbs up
lets me know it is time…
music reaches a crescendo as the curtain lifts skyward
and I am faced with the reality that has all to often been a dream
and then a nightmare

I step to the front, clear my throat,
begin counting the many eyes staring at me,
searching for greatness, brilliance, charm
and I read my poem…penned the day I lost you,
the day my heart shattered, the day my world ended

No applause today, as I stand on this sad stage
gazing at gaping mouths, wide-eyed disappointment
and I pray the curtain drops as quickly as it rose
allowing the comedian to rescue the audience with
his offering of humor…at my expense

~

For something more than love

Trenches dug, a mile deep
My body it is sore
Firm against the lies that seep
Beneath the sliding door

Crevices of mounting hate
Stand the borderline
Quietly I sit and wait
A distant church bell chimes

Thunder falls from every cloud
Children run and hide
Barricades inform the crowd
To walk the other side

Sticks and stones and broken bones
Phrases fired back
Insults from the words have grown
Now arming the attack

Strangers in the circus tent
Clowns to fill the car
Popcorn quotes, the need to vent
This now has gone too far

Raise the flag, your colored choice
Wave it high above
Think before you use your voice
For something more than love

~

Say cheese


I don’t recognize my footprints anymore,
flash bulbs and dusty breaths
distort my sight and laugh
I barely recognize my name
as if anyone might call
on the gusts of barren life that hit me full force

Lost in a silent thought  
bouncing from shutter to shutter
blistering paint and chipping sorrows
outside the windows, smeared of tears
resting on cheddar sills
reflecting unknown images, as I stare

Photographic headlines swing on wire fences
twisted around dreams and laced with unforgiving pain
rusting in the rain, falling piece by tiny piece
until words read like fragmented sentences
in amber speckles on the walk,  
asking me to believe

A three legged cat begs for a mouse,
yet the only thing held in this trap is me
folding another fitted sheet (I hate folding fitted sheets)
as Tripod claws at my leathered skin
trying to erase the scars, captured in the lens
which mocks me…say cheese

~

5:37 am

5:37 am…the morning is silent,
eerily so that I can hear nothing
louder than I ever have before
Not a bird sings as the sun still sleeps
outside of this four walled solitude
Slowly drinking a cup of coffee,
wondering why I even exist

5:42 am…staring into the dark spaces
surrounding my mind like elastic memories
While I write these words
of absolutely no reason,
as if they will heal somehow, take the pain
scatter it upon horizons
that no longer have meaning

5:46 am…somehow I enjoy this silence
Seeing my shadow below,
head in hands on the surface of my desk,
painting charcoal pictures of loneliness,
listening to key strokes breaking the quiet,
hoping this faux ink erases the past,
yet I believe nothing can…5:51 am

Weight…wait

Fantasies of cobblestone pairings, cracked and scattered
and wheat field decisions, looming large
now rest on my shoulders
like moss on a stone
~
Clinging tightly to each inch
of north facing skin
while never really noticing
that east is my direction of choice
~
So much it seems piles on,
***** laundry on the bathroom floor
disguised beneath damp towels
only to add more weight
~
And I lift, not knowing if I will fall,
crumbling beneath this load, drunk of the massive pain,
yet I find the ground is much softer, a bed of posies
since you wait for me, and help me to stand
~
Guiding hands comfort, shading the sun from weary,
tear stained eyes, brushing back vines, tangled and thorn’d
revealing that nothing is ever too much
when a friend is near

~

Sad Existence


It is a sad existence, that of a poet
with flowery phrases and disguised meanings
Tossing out happy faces like quarters
splashing in a wishing well with no bottom

Painting heartstrings in an amber shade of gold
lingering silver linings losing their crease
in frayed bottomed hip huggers
that are long out of style

Swishing fragrant melodies on starch white paper
collecting lines in neat rows and margin’d desires
lips fluttering and eyelashes batting
well below the league's average

Whispering notions of sheer delight,
tantalizing rapid pulses pushing blood
through narrow corridors finding
locked garden entrances in chained Jasmine

Dreaming dreams that only a dreamer could dream
all the while knowing that when they awaken
pen in hand, ink at the ready
these dreams shall never come true

It is a sad existence, that of a poet…who believes their own dreams

~

Till sunrise comes once more...

You and I…alone
Beneath a silent crescent moon
Sultry sighs echo passion’s enchantment
Fireflies swirl illumined whisperings
Hydrangeas glow luminous desires
Your love envelopes me…breathless

Azure wing’d rapture engulfs
Ferverous lips ignite dark chocolate pulsings
Savoring luscious yearnings
Rhythmic motions blur starlit fantasies
Entwined of twilight fingers…roaming
Softly probing cherry blossom seams

Satin cream thighs…aching… delicate…fragile
Slowly entering, honeysuckle’s fragrance’d portal
Warmth devours gripping’s pleasure
Moist tongues dance tango’d steps
Crimson trickles paint skin’s textures
Cricket song wafts fever’d pitch

Comets blaze heaven’s canvas
Harmonies melt…one voice pleads
Echo’d moans soar elevated
Pearl’d beads mingle…lustrous
Glisten’d affection unfolds
Midnight beckons endless dreams

Till sunrise comes once more…my love

~

Simple short phrases


Taken from the grayest clouds,
charcoal mist collecting my thoughts
Entwining my heart with pointed sorrow
as my stupidity takes center stage to a sold out show

Weakened at the knees, dis-jointed disappointments,
assumptions falter my eyes
Blinded by the sight of one more
licking the seasoned wounds of past regrets

Channeling frustrations with a remote, the mute button not working
Shoe fittings find my mouth, at least in silent words
Crying inside and outside too,
rivers of lost dreams stored in a mason jar…its lid rusted shut

Wrenching my fingers, twisted knots,
lacing fears that are merely a mirage
yet still flourish in desert dreamscapes fluctuating
as camels drink from my oasis on Wednesdays

Then, as if a window opens, words are heard

simple short phrases
tiny syllables counted
in Senryu fashion

and in an instant my heart spins in circular motions
A smile of winged happiness adorns my face,
sun pours through and zephyrs unfurl their sweet aromas,
dancing from flower to flower…to my heart

It is amazing how words can effect us
and all it takes is a whisper of affection, a declaration of caring
from you to me,
to make this moment, this day, this world…the perfect place

~

Who I was

Blurred, these tracks of memories
Beyond the dreams that I may seek
Lost in windblown sanctity
Of roaring steel on endless plains

Adrift along these boundaries
Singing songs of desperate days
Within my mind…alone…wandering
Seeking that which is not forgotten

This fight to stave off destinations
Where frowning faces paint sad reflections
At every stop along the way
With flashing crossings in broken trust

And still the rumble feeds my heart
With hope that this line will soon end
Remembering me for who I was
And not what I have become…

~

Picture Perfect

It is within this channeled dream,
along a corridor of white washed hope
that simmering shadows form an outline
captured of a view beyond the eastern fence

I breathe in the mist now lingering
of sunrise wishes, sweet to the taste,
tempting to every desire which amounts to only one
when photographs found are of us

Small pieces of a longed for past,
squares of colored sequences collected in a box
Blue and gold ribbons concealing
each heartfelt moment of what was supposed to be

I hold this celluloid memory close to my face,
your smile leaps from the glossy film
reaching for my heart with lilac fingers
and I open myself…wishing it were so

If only your eyes could see mine,
gazing affectionately at what I hold in my hand,
wanting only to be like this photograph once again
the two of us…picture perfect…in love

~

And my smile grows…of you

When clouded days appear
yet still I find sunshine is brightly filling each corner of my heart
glowing with every thought that illumines me… of you

“Your light finds me through a the dense charcoal mist”

When winds blow a’ gusty scattering of dust,
as I find the air sweet as magnolia petals saved in my pocket,
brings me the unforgettable fragrance… of you

“The sweet breath of your nature flows over me”

When soaring heat batters my crimson skin,
but the cool breeze of love soothes my sunburned shoulders
in affections softly flowing from the fingertips...of you

“Cool spring zephyrs wrap your love about my body”

When I sit in a darkened space, alone with only my dreams
and a teardrop finds my cheek in a glistened falling line
happily, as I relive each eternal memory…of you

*“And my smile grows…of you”