I love the way,
He says goodnight,
Like there's no such thing,
As goodbye,
He drives me wild,
With his clarity and perception,
It's in the way,
He clouds my direction,
And takes control,
So effortlessly,
He's exactly who,
I wanted him to be

I'm sorry,
For running to you,
When you have so much else,
Someone else to fix,
But what else can I do?
And when you see,
These tears,
You hold my hand anyway,
And ease the heavy burden,
That's when I know,
It's okay

Perhaps I'm falling,
Into the bottom of this bottle,
Looking up,
From the palm of your hand,
Dancing between your fingers,
Perhaps I'm less now,
Wasting and diminished,
Perhaps I'm just not,
Perfect

Everybody wants to fall in love.

I just want to fall in love with you.

He takes my hand,
Runs his fingers,
Through the broken veins,
Whispering the same words,
The lies that caught me,
Every time,
He fills my mind,
With sleepless nights,
Listening for Death's sirens,
As our blood stains the floor,
Red bleach filled with poison,
He finds my eyes,
Keep them closed,
I keep them closed,
To hide his tears,
To keep from drowning,
I turn away from yesterday

I don't want to make,
These same mistakes,
Yet again,
So I'm leaving,
Don't speak,
I know what you'll say,
You need to let me,
Move on,
Do the same,
Just don't try,
To put us back,
Together again

Nobody wants to be with a girl
who sits up late at night in her room
dissecting disposable razors with her fingernails
just so she can feel.

A slave to all the poison,
Running through my veins,
Take my rights,
I've no will

It's hard to wonder,
If you're overrated,
When I'm caught,
Blurred vision to your fever,
Two steps behind

Air escapes these punctured lungs,
Far too fast,
With too much ease,
Eager to leave,
This broken body,
Riddled with pain,
Blood flows,
Anxiously,
Far too anxiously,
Through these brittle veins,
And fresh, bleeding wounds,
But I won't,
I won't end the pain,
If you ask me to stay,
Though staying kills me anyway,
Slowly but surely,
Inevitably, hopelessly,
I will endure it,
To stop your tears,
Falling, crashing,
Through the cracks of the earth

I didn't see your face,
When you loved me,
Maybe when I was dreaming,
But it was only cold,
It follows me now,
Your name across my world,
And you've stolen all the feelings,
All the places,
That I shouldn't have given you,
So I change my sheets and mattresses and hair,
But I still smell of us,
And you're still breathing on my neck,
So I stop crossing bridges,
And maybe I want to dream of you,
But you never loved me,
You're too cold to hold fire,
Too blind for emotion,
So I'll move my window,
And cover my doors with things you've never seen,
And bring strangers to bed,
Because that's all you are.**

And somewhere in this whirlwind of boys who don't feel and furniture, he takes my hand and shows me I never forgot how to smile.

                                                                      ­                                                                 ­                           I guess that's love.

I talk to him sometimes,
When no-one's home,
I tried today
I pretend to hear him,
In my footfall,
It was almost too hard
He's there,
The moon on my sheets,
But you wanted me to try
I can't help crying sometimes,
When I imagine him breathing,
Do you think about it?
I remember that feeling,
Of weight on my shoulders,
When I'm alone
I fall into the cold,
Like a makeshift embrace,
*Do you wish you could stop me?

It was too much,
Yet all in the same,
It wasn't enough,
He tore at my insides,
We fell in sync,
But I wouldn't die,
For his vanity

I look into other men's eyes
and see your flecked blue irises.
Every few faces has your smile
or the creases from around your lips.
Every strong, freckled shoulder
is your reincarnated skin.

I can't keep your fragments
from haunting me.

I broke one of my dad's razors.
I couldn't stand it anymore,
so I picked it apart with
my scissors and pulled away
the deformed plastic frame.
I stole the glimmering blade
and bent it like paper
between my fingers.
I was intoxicated by the
sight of it. I pressed it
tentatively against my skin,
like the feather light touch
of a lover, and caressed my
veins with it's edge.


I can't stop.

I'm the girl with the scars,
With the blade in her fingers,
Blood and brittle bones,
The girl with the bruises,
With the troubled mind,
Darkness in excess,
I'm the girl without light,
The broken one,
The dying one,
I'm a girl,
I'm a mess

Her soft, silent smile,
A lie to his eyes,
Steals hope from their heavy hearts,
Why can he not see,
How much she cares,
Unwillingly so now,
But no less than before,
Yet he turns her away

He loves me,
Should I feel the same,
Or shy away,
From love's uncertain embrace,
Though the force,
Of his words,
Draws me closer,
I feel the sickening twist,
Of confusion,
Within my chest,
How can I return,
Such sweetness,
While love is torn,
Contorted and shredded,
When my heart,
Should be flooded,
Bursting at the seams,
With equal passion

Before I retreated,
To the safety,
Of my wardrobe walls,
Nine words escaped,
My father's lips,
I know this is going to upset you but...
Frantic, I did not wait,
To hear the rest,
But slammed the closet door,
And disappeared,
Into the darkness

To whoever has the heart to hear:
I, a butterfly,
Have nothing but broken wings,
Unwilling to fly,
Though I know,
I am nothing,
But one of many millions,
I pray that you, God unto me,
May grant my wish,
And unlock the heavy doors,
Of my cruel cage,
Heal my broken spirit,
And lift the burden of this pain,
From my brittle wings

I spend my days,
Staring out windows,
At effortless blue sky,
And the nights,
Blinking up,
At blatant, white ceilings,
Through the darkness,
Just waiting,
For it to be over

It's like stumbling through a fog:
I'm reaching desperately for anything,
but you can't hold on
when all you have is broken dreams
that collapse between your fingers.

When you're around,
The complex and unforgiving world,
Seems so simple,
So beautiful,
I can believe there is such thing,
As happiness,
Because when you smile,
I don't have to pretend

I'm just looking,
For something; someone,
Worth looking for

I've lost it,
That light shining,
Between our fingers,
It flickers,
From dim to bright,
On to off,
I'm losing it,
The words,
Paving my way,
Into the darkness of your mind,
Into the midst of another's sorrow

Do you ever feel the ice
wrap tight around your chest?
Its long, bone-thin fingers
fill the gaps between your ribs;
you feel those nails,
familiar as an old friend,
rake across your skin.

I can feel him trace
the chill along my spine.
His whispers
raising the hairs of my neck,
as his darkness cloaks my eyes.

Do you ever feel him?
His devil's grin against your cheek;
that cruel, cold laughter
stealing your breath away.