Breathing never satisfies,
This hunger,
For eternal silence,
And a simple, tragic ending,
Rather, it fuels the fire,
Of desperation,
For blood across my hands,
And tears me up,
Alive and open,
Bleeding truth,
Across the broken floor

Her eyes are closed,
But the ground's still shaking,
The frost has settled,
But the water's still racing,
The air is still,
Nobody's breathing

Clouds befall the canvas,
Of the black, starry night,
Your voice,
A gentle harmony,
Playing on the wind,
The horizon falls from focus,
Matched with the flutter,
Of restless eyes,
The silence of the night,
Finds me back beside you

We didn't know your favourite song,
so we chose one from your home town.
A quiet hymn about the joy of God;
I'm sure you would have frowned
behind the outward smile,
as you looked down from above
to bear witness to the solemn mourning.

Find me in the snow,
You'll be seconds,
Too late,
The winter's calling,
Could you hear the darkness,
You never felt the darkness,
Pulling me away

I do not dream in colour,
I do not dream at all

The leaves were falling,
Like fiery snowflakes,
I could only see the sky,
That day,
It was everything,
And everything was bright

It's a hollow love
but you give me something to hold on to,
and in the moments that you're mine
I'm not so alone.

I feel the wind,
Running through my hair,
Burning through my core,
It's cold,
I feel so cold,
Like you've taken your hand,
Soft, warm, safe,
Torn it from mine,
And allowed the warmth,
To escape,
Into the cruel, lonely world,
Replaced by icy air,
Making my blood run cold

Like those summers,
Long since faded from my mind,
Not special in any obvious way,
Simply a part of my life,
Like presence, like air,
Importance unnoticed,
Immemorable

Sometimes, I feel like I miss you.





                  Really, I just miss who you used to be.

Shiver.
                    Be silent,

He says:

                   *The sound,
                    Drowns my sight,
                    Keep sight,
                    A moment,
                    Be still,
                    You're only,
                    My shadow

I'm wondering why,
God betrayed religion,
So blatantly,

Why there's nothing,
The doctors can do,
Absolutely nothing,

Why they never told me,
"He hasn't got long",

Why I won't be able to say,
"I love you",
Enough times,
Before his blood runs cold,

Why the air doesn't fill me,
With life,
But with nausea,

*Couldn't it all just be okay?

I don't love you
just so you'll love me back.

Between the missing heartbeats,
Tangled in the silence,
In the absence of air,
The clarity of my condition arises,
Unbearable warmth under layers,
Of unsettling chills,
The sharp ache from that place,
That unreachable depth,
Of my hollow core,
The throbbing in my temples,
Behind my eyes,
From the soft hazy edges of the world,
I'm jaded and drowning,
Giving over to feelings I hate,
Loving and dying,
Aren't they the same?

I know I'm missing out,
But it doesn't bother me,
Not all the time,
Because mostly,
I don't feel anything,
But the pain

We're alive,
The words don't sound,
Right,
They are bitter-sweet,
Stale,
Living*,
Are we living,
A lie

Say these tears don't mean a thing,
And I will run back to you,
Say theses tears mean nothing,
So I can fall down with you,
Speak the words like they are real,
And tears will cease to fall,
You say broken hearts have never cried,
But I know the change in your voice,
When you lie

You can watch,
The same sun fall,
Day after day,
You can keep your memories,
And pretend,
You can lie all you want,
But I don't want to anymore

I wish I were a paper plane;
that I had a sky
in which to roam.

In a world full,
Of 'no's and 'never's,
Bursting with 'tomorrow's,
Though out of 'now's,
Drowning in sorrow,
And struggling for joy,
What truly matters?

I feel so far away,
A cold shadow,
Lost in the distance,
Walking without destination,
Aching for the sun,
To rest its gentle rays around me,
For the rain to fall,
And trace the ridge of my spine,
I watch the black of my eyelids,
And see the oceans,
Surrounding deep, black voids,
Glistening ebony spheres,
In a sea that swallows me whole

In the light,
My troubles fade,
But the darkness calls the shadows,
And pulls the weight of sorrow,
Over my shoulders,
The voice of yesterday,
Stronger by night,
Calls me to the end

I'm clawing at your
skin; digging trenches
between your ribs.
We are destroying
each other. I am
gasping for air.

Tell me,
Do I smell of poison,
You never minded before,
I guess I took it too far,
The taste is too much now,
You always liked that,
I never thought you'd change,
Just notice for once,
I'm still the same

If you believe that word called "love",
Even when it's whispered in your ear,
So honest and gentle,
It'll blow your world to pieces,
'Til you bleed over the sunsets,
With that word like broken glass,
Cutting through your open heart,
The only love you've ever know,
Only aiming to let go

If only the rain,
Could soak throught my memories,
And wash from my mind,
All that I loved

The world's weight,
Rests on our shoulders,
Growing heavier by the second,
Dragging us down,
Into the depths of oblivion,
Empty oblivion,
As the bleeding,
Pulls us further