The first time I saw you,
I didn’t expect to fall for the fact that you always hold my hand first,
Before you even kiss me
Or wrap your arms around me.
I didn’t expect to fall for the way you watch me when I trace the bones in your body,
Giving each its specific, anatomical name.
I didn’t expect that every time I looked at the stars,
I’d try and find Orion’s Belt
Because you have these three freckles that connect like a constellation on your chest.
The first time I saw you,
I didn’t expect to find myself thinking about your voice,
Or the scruff on your chin,
And how it felt when it’d brush against mine every time you kissed me.
I didn’t expect your smile to become a force
That could weaken me to my core,
And fill me with warmth and a quickened heart beat.
I didn’t expect that every time I saw the lights from Hartford,
I’d be thinking of your laugh when I couldn’t stop admiring the view from your house.
The first time I saw you,
I didn’t expect I’d fall so hard for you.

Being a poet, it's frustrating,
not having the perfect words
to explain how I feel for you

Sharp words shouldn't be spoken
Nobody's perfect
When everything comes out broken
Choking on every syllable
Soaking up every last "I'm sorry"
like a sponge that's full already
Steady, aim, fire another round across his bow
Give her another volley of misunderstanding champ,
because your fowling out over fences topped with razor wire

Sometimes a simple smile seems better
Than a string of wrong words that leave your mouth bitter
Sometimes still tongues touch more hearts
and wagging ones turn burnt ears into quitters
Sometimes stepping out's better

Why stick around and frown?
Why let it all bring you down?
Needle and thread your squack box
Turn keys on locks
And give it up, will ya?!
Try it again tomorrow
There'd be a whole lot less sorrow....

Reminded of a time when I felt so dark inside
Almost as if my identity was slowly being erased from this earth.
My reflection one big blur.
My identity non existent.

I no longer recognize the girl in the mirror.
Her pretty face with hollow eyes.

A small part of her afraid for her.
And the rest numb to the realization.
Man!
I almost lost her.
I want to apologize to her.
For almost refusing to harken to my truth.

For almost extinguishing her bright contagious flames.
For almost becoming the sad women, yet a beautiful fool.
  
I now vow to fight for her
To become the warrior princess she is destined to be.

I vow to always listen to her truth
I want to acknowledge her dreams and opinions.
I embrace her like never before.

Like war paint on my face,
I will wear a smile whenever I want
A tear whenever I want
A grin and even a blank slate whenever I want.

She is unapologetically me.

Never to be hidden again
Never an imposter of my truth - my true self

I will be me- me in it's purest form

And any disagreements or negative challenges or wills to change it will quickly be removed without hesitation.

For she will be seen.
She will be heard .
She will be loved and aware .
She will be.

She is here to stay
She is fearless, driven and believes in magical miracles daily.

She is me.
She is Shayleen.