There is that helpless moment,
Right before your body submits,
to the pressures of pleasure,
that you ignore reason,
And obey the nature of;
                                         Satisfaction.

The moment was brief
But I saw through your cracks
And saw your missing pieces

Behind that mask of yours
Behind that smile you love to wear
Is a child drowning int its own tears
A soul in need of fixing

There's no need to hide your broken pieces
I want to put you back together
I can help you

The ecstasy of our embrace
Can be the glue that holds you together,
The soil that can make your grow
I can be your nurse
The artist that decorates your soul
With the beauty embedded in your broken self

With your shattered pieces
We can make something beautiful

I loved you and you turned me to stone -
Took my soft words of caring
And sharpened them into daggers.
Stabbed me right through,
Cut out my heart
And left me to bleed out on the floor -
Stole the hope I had left and gave it to her
Used my kindness for your own personal gain
And got angry when I had nothing left to give

I loved you and you turned into a monster -
Or maybe you always were
And I was just too blind to see it.
The anger when things didn’t go your way -
When I stopped walking on eggshells
And began to raise my voice

I loved you and you destroyed me -
Broke me to pieces I may never repair
Rid my world of all that was good
Made sure I’d never feel safe;
That no place would ever feel like home
Forever bound to roam
Reminiscing on my life
Before I truly knew how hate could ****

that one unfinished bird metaphor
     Wear me like a birdskull necklace.
     Grind my hollow bones into sugar for your coffee.
     Pluck my feathers plume by plume to make pens for your washed-out poetry.


math note lines
     1. I SWALLOWED EVERY PIECE OF GLASS THAT REMAINED FROM YOUR SHATTERED REFLECTION. *******.
     2. WEDGE RAZOR BLADES BETWEEN YOUR TEETH AND SINK THEM INTO ME. TAKE EVERY LAST BREATH FROM ME. COLLAPSE MY LUNGS AND RIP OUT MY TONGUE. LEAVE ME WHERE YOU FOUND ME, VOMITING INTO THE KITCHEN SINK LIKE IT’S NOTHING, SHOULDERS HEAVING. I’VE BEEN PUTTING OFF THIS 3RD PARTY SUICIDE BUT IT ALL COMES CRASHING DOWN TONIGHT. KISS MY HEART GOODBYE.
     3. BREAK YOUR JAW BITING BULLETS LIKE YOU’RE TRIGGER HAPPY. I NEVER ASKED FOR ANY OF THIS BUT HERE WE ARE, STANDING ON THE CLIFF WITH NO COMMON GROUND BETWEEN US. IS THAT WHY YOU JUMPED SHIP? YOU COULDN’T HANDLE IT? I WASN’T BULLETPROOF ENOUGH FOR YOU, AND YOU WERE JUST TOO MUCH.

blinker
     my mom uses her turn signal like an afterthought
     it’s pointless at that point but that’s conditioning
     and her train of thought has always been linear


ugh
     when i was 15 i asked my mom to start taking me to therapy
     she said baby why pay a stranger when you can just talk to me about anything
     and i smiled like i wasn’t dying inside and started writing poetry.
     funerals cost less than student loans
     at this rate when i graduate i won’t be able to afford myself a home
     the american dream has been dead for a century
     a degree is worthless and it’s not likely i’ll make much of a salary
     have you even imagined yourself outside of high school yet?
     i’ve never thought about my life past my graduation date

thinking about someone
     sing serenades through silent car radios like static
     through sleepy stormcloud eyes that could swallow you whole
     he’s got a smile with more stars than yours ever did
     wishbone collarbones and long eyelashes
     stringing together dreams in constellations
     piecing together fractured calculus equations

i’ve been reading pete wentz’s old livejournal posts again*
     you’re apocalyptic chemistry, a candycane of all the things i never was and never could be to keep you stable. i’m a broken spine and you’re fading. love is hard to quantify so i’ll just keep counting and catching fireflies.