I know my demons by name. Guess you could say we’re friends. Well more like frenemies. Do you know that popular girl in school? And if you do then you must know the outcast that she diminishes for her lack of self-esteem or whatever.
Well, I’m the outcast. Walking the halls with my headphones to drown out the constant bickering running around my mind. Hiding behind my cozy black hoodie. Comfort never felt like home. At least that keeps me safe.
Until I reach the chills of the cafeteria. I enjoy being alone so I’m grateful to be ignored by the general population. Stuffing my face in a book while I eat my cold sandwich is such an easy way to avoid eye contact. Why would I ever want to make contact with mindless humanity?
And yet I am somehow noticed by the “clique” run by little ms. popular. Judged by the clothes I wear. Is black even a color? Am I too broke to afford the name brand? Nails aren’t done, must be broke. Who even does make-up like that?
Don’t get offended, I just want to help you, sweetie. She says as the others giggle away. They’ve tortured me all my life, that I unwillingly learned their names. Yet, I am known as a “weird girl”.
You see there’s ‘Ann - xiety’, and yes she is as fidgety as her name sounds. She may seem like she has it all together but on the inside is a wreck of a world. Fear of living day to day surrounded by her social peers, judging. You see I’m not the only one who gets judged. And there is always a massive panic right before the big test. She had nausea constantly that it was rumored around that she might be pregnant.
Of course, I knew better, because, well, I knew better. Then, there is a tall langley dude, I think his name is ‘D... - Pression’,? Although I never figured out his full name. He’s new but my mind boggled me when he was accepted into the “clique” because he seemed as dark as me. Maybe more. I guess it was that chiseled jawline and soft black hair. Or I’m guessing it’s soft like I would know. His pale skin reminds me of a vampire, and who didn’t ever want to be bitten by one?
There is ‘Al - Cohol’. He/ Him is transgender. The only reason he fits in is that he is the little brother to Ms. Popular. How convenient. She defends him to the fullest. He either has two personalities. One is loud and ambitious daring the inevitable and the other shedding tears reciting his lost love from before. Or a changing world. Always a puzzle with that guy.
Out of all the bunch, the loudest is ‘Coco’ aka ‘White girl’. Her name is the definition of controversy. No matter how much she goes she stays in the sun I swear she never tans. She is the person to describe a party all night and sleeps when you’re dead. Although I swear she has the worst of allergies.
Oh, and don’t let me forget the queen bee herself ‘Mirror’. Strange name I know, but her parents are like self-righteous hippies or some ****. I bet if I dressed like her we could seem relatable. I mean, she was my best friend growing up. And I know, everyone has heard that story before, but it’s true. Ride or die up until high school, or perhaps it started before that. I could never pinpoint.
Life happens suddenly and if you don’t happen with it then you’re left behind. What can I say? I looked at life with depth and somehow had a deeper understanding than your average. So, yeah they left my *** behind and I developed into society as being the “weird kid”.
Somehow, these people never fail to haunt me every waking day. Just like shadows following my every move, I could never exist in silence entirely. Could I? I just want life to end sometimes. I don’t really know if it’s just this life or in general. It could be both, don’t question me.
So yeah, demons exist. I mean if you’re a non-believer then good for you. Matter fact, I applaud. I do, really. I think, well I wonder, what would it be to live a privileged life? A life with no demons, nobody to haunt you. No chills down your spine when you walk the halls. And for sure no ‘clique’ to torment you every day. But, in my book, you are living life. And tell me please, what could be better than that?