Asked a question
It doesn't sound right
Trying to follow the logic
Moral code set in place
Not letting others dictate
Did the work didn't complain
Looked out spoke out wasn't heard
Excluded kept out avoiding drama
Change and turn the page
Still learning and growth is desired
Not taking on the settling ego
Never settle for average be more
Hasn't happened yet in the works

Another lonely holiday wishing family would get along
Someone is always mad running their mouth
Instead of being close everyone is divided
Can't ask for help or do favors everyone expects something in return
Trying to get something to hold over your head
Seeing a family member be two faced is sickening
Talking bad about a person behind their back being cool to their face
Telling others how to live not living up to false ideals
Practice what's being preached not the exception
Do more for yourself instead of expecting others to do it
Sister with a mouth expecting respect insulting others
A false leader acting like everyone owes and trying to collect
Wishing the family could get along
Share a meal not exclude a sibling due to unresolved issues
Talk to one another instead about each other
Boundaries are set being respectful
Doesn't get your way or change things
Trying to control others stop imposing
Take control over your life first
Stop thinking you know what's best for others
While your situation is not organized

Jen was over her cousin Ana judging everyone when Ana did way worse. Jen made a mistake or two owned up as well. Ana seem to throw everyone under because she had ***** little secrets that came to the surface. She would borrow money and not pay it back. Causing their grandmother to be sued.
Jen was angry because she loved her grandmother and this coat riding decay would have the nerve to talk after all she's done. She slandered Jens name making her not want to come around. He didn't get why the family believed a liar while Jen was honest and straight forward.
Ana was the worse of the worse she would use people to get her materialistic needs met. If she doesn't gain off or benefit.  she doesn't care about how about anyones feelings. She'd trying to isolate and turn the family.
Trying to take over in rank but definitely did not earn her place. Jen knew it would only be a matter of time till everything came to the light.

He was cool with everyone never said anything about anyone. Focusing on work making it easier for himself. If others benefit that was a plus. He was hard working with little time feeling everything was a crunched trying to beat the clock.
He like to be alone since some people didn't always seem right for once he trusted his gut. Didn't say much but did listen and observe.

Pro-wrestling is something; I've always loved. I got made fun or teased. It was a world of action, and story lines. Somethings I loved, others were time killers in my eyes. I remember being a hulk hogan fan and then Ric flair fan. With Hogan you are strong doing what's right. Flair had it all women and money. He was a heel and Hogan was the good guy. After the 80s ended the late 90s would have the attitude era. With stone cold and the rock. So many wrestlers had gimmicks or themed for better words.

Woke up so much on the mind
Jump in the car drive fast on the road
Loud music blairing while the wind blows
The open window cool air hitting the face
On the road cruising the streets so my troubles will blow away
Or on the high way racing so you can forget all the worries on the back of your mind

Interview for the job told I was wanted to be the guy. Turns out it was a lie, loyal to the wrong people. All the anger and frustration wanting to spread the hate. Meant for better not going to over react walking away the noble way meant for something better.
Finish old tasks get back on track lots of projects that need to be finished fond peace and close. The person who did me ***** acting like I'm the one who did wrong.
All the humiliation and shame feeling mocked like everyone laughing at my pain. Choosing peace over sinking to their level staying in my lane. Working my time slot going home doing my part going home.
The new person incharge dk my work but quick to call me inexperienced. I was doing more than the lead now I'm at the bottom ready to start over somewhere new.
All the lies spread to knock me down quick to bounce back from this detour. So many lies causing setback rise up with the truth.

Easy to dominate work
Learn to take a time out
Analyze the situation
Read others so many factors
Different angles and perspectives
Learning to be family not let them down
They don't need to be mad at me
I'm already ******* myself
Use to being judged by others
People think less for being different
Now you give them a reason to do so

The internet is a place where people go to complain or criticize things
Prejudge everything or anti supporters
They'll go pay for a movie to review it
Hoping their opinion matters, usually its clickbait
If an old movie of a cartoon live action, everyone gets mad no one is erasing the original
The studio will try to milk the franchise for the next generation.
Reboots are sometimes good. Other times, it doesn't work out accordingly.
People try to cancel something or influence a crowd to hate. It's easier to do than show appreciation for things.

Ran into her outside of work she had the biggest smile happy to see me. I was glad to see her the thought of dating again brought up bad memories  and did appreciate her as a friend didn't not want her to hate me because that's how most of my relationships end. I did want to try do things differently for the first time in years I was emotionally available. Half the time I'm with someone who doesn't love me back and I'm trying to win them over or I was not emotionally connect because my heart belong to someone or I protected it vowing to never get hurt. I've been hurt and hurt others I don't want to do that anymore.
Always needed a sign a few weeks later we would talk to one another at a stop light. It was nice to catch up until the light turned green. I do think and wonder most say try make your move but that's hard to do we are a couple years apart and do if the chemistry but their is a vibe not over reacting because last time I thought there was something I was wrong one of the worse feelings ever. Not holding back or trying those is not doing me any favors.

I don't how people move on so quick Im one who ponders like Winnie the pooh. I think it's weird how some can turn their emotions on and off like a light switch. I respect they left and move on but if I tried to do the same all of a sudden they want back in my life. Trying ruin the new I began to pursue. Before I would drop all I had what I was doing to make it work. I'm not a side project or an option because the current plan failed so you considered me a back up plan. Sometimes I wonder and asking how did this happen why is this happening.  I've learned you aren't good for me and we are not meant to be. Now I can see before I was blinded by denial but now I'm overcoming with the truth.

Times have changed especially when you hang out with your younger cousin and his friends think you're his dad. Lately I've been around good people and who are doing things. I like to see people succeed.
That's motivating inspiring that guy is in my crew and moving up.  I can't wait to be cleared to drive and train. Holding pads for my cousin and get back on those jujitsu mats. Get back on the grind.
I was going to say how it is for me becoming an adult but I realize everyone has a different story and does things differently for a reason. My generation is different from today. I respect it but don't always agree. I make efforts to understand. What was taboo growing up is socially accepted. Trying to be open minded and learned to say no or if its not my thing it shouldn't matter what I think. Lots of change is good not always better but it's okay to explore and gain new experiences.

Drinking calmed his nerves
Women his poison of choice
Hatred repeating more than twice
Raised his voice wasn't taken seriously
The love wasn't real everyone so fake
He thought they changed for the better
Behavior way is worse than imagined
It's really bad that's who they are

He was done arguing another up hill battle
Walking away so many issues with ppl
Being told how to act
Made out to be someone he wasn't
He would roll with it before
Now he shuts it down not welcoming
Many rumors spread the truth came out
Fighting to be heard deciding not to say anything
And okay with being ignore not the right crowd
Use to being excluded more time to write
Giving too much credit while being deducted
Asked to have an opinion told how to think
It doesn't work like that
It's okay to have a different point of view
Just because it's different different doesn't make it weak
Try to understand before unleashing the vicious wrath of hatred
Better to not say anything or get involved

Worked hard so I can forget my drama
Now work is full of insanity all the games
Never let things get to me over all the frustration
Something I once loved now the joy is gone
Been doing it for too long now it feels wrong
Time for a change need to turn the page
Look in the mirror white hairs starting to age
From working hard to get ahead
To feeling stuck and getting worked
Not the same over come this hurt and pain
Who I was vs who I've become still not done
Had a plan but faced many detours
Change it up to escape this insanity
So worked up in my mind want to yell
Scream real loud with all my being
Keep at it but had enough it's so tough
Once loved it all but don't want to do it anymore
Gave my all went ******* not what I want
Another uphill fight I'll never win, ready to walk away
Overlooked skipped over no need to stay
Walk with God I pray he helps me get through the day

The love for family is strong
It's more than a pretty picture
You need to put forth effort
Don't complain or get jealous
When you get asked
But refuse to participate
It could be fun give it a chance
Don't let your bad attitude
Ruin a fun moment for others
How do you expect others to know you
When you close them out give the 3rd degree
Take interest in others
Don't be about yourself
Sometimes the road is lonely
The journey has people
Who love and care for you
You need to meet them half way
Let people be themselves open up
Don't try to force control the moment
Thankful for the new memories
Closer to cousins and new friends
Can't wait around need to live
Especially on borrowed time
Health is not great but still able
Thankful for the help pushing through
Love the team don't want to fail
Trying to do my own thing not lead

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong
Looking in from the other side
Once I'm in still not so close
So many obstacles to overcome
You seek a home always on the roam
Trying to find where I belong
keep moving strong going forward never back
Hard to get close to anyone broken trust
Be me wander the world be free

Today was long staying positive feels like things can be going wrong. Doing what's right not looking to start a fight. I told myself to inspire **** and burn like fire. Never quit or back down start bad mouthing me once I turn around. I respected you while I said it to your face. I'm staying calm because you making me mad is me letting you stay in my head and you offer me nothing but bring out the worse in me. You give me your worse I'll give my all and be at my best move to the next level not go back down sink to yours.
I got better things to do than waste my time with you. Been thinking of ways to change things can't continue to be the same.

Working harder than most
Never scared not backing down
DIY finding a way to get it out
Rise to the next level trail blazing
Pursue a dream everything mentally
Drained physically fighting to give it life
Others point out the wrong tear it down
Than give credit for doing right
Focused on mistakes drawing blood
Instead of blessing the effort
All the hard work mininalised
Standing tall alone hoping to unit
Trying to bring others together
While the division grows over time
Keeping everyone apart no love

Things changed she got dumb and selective about calling. She made it awkward her way or no way he was done with all her rules and over being an option. No more responding to a text or waiting for a call. He made time for her but she could care less. He respected he choices and she made him feel bad about for his. She was not good for him so he decided not to be involved or make time. They are no longer going to be the same and things are not meant to be so not making the same mistakes departing is the best way to go. Best way to go not going back but forward this mistake made one too many times never again. Calming to love but actions tell other wise not waiting not staying time to go so good bye friend

Choices made to get rid of the pain
Cutting off those, who judge you
Disrespectful criticism not able to speak back
Having an opinion seen as the enemy
Pursuing a dream while they never tried
On a high horse looking down on everyone
Material possessions doesn't make you better
Respecting people staying humble is admirable
You can't buy respect it's earned everyday
All the change is for the better growing strong

Thankful to be forgiven feeling judged
Big mistakes learned the lessons
Misunderstood trying be a better person
Meant well it came from the heart
Things went wrong back away
A load off tense shoulders
Tired from carrying the burden
The guilt within consuming joy
Punishment tormenting the mind
An anchored heart being weighed down
Yearned a lost friendship from the past
Cut off never given a second chance
Starved from broken relationship
Cut the cord never got a reason
Trying to make things right feeling wrong
Learned to cope makes sense of it all
Unsettled within seeking closure
Coped with emotions moving on strong