Sad how people are so jealous of one another. Why can't people be happy for one another; accepting of everyone's differences.  They see you as a threat because you're not afraid to try, step up to the plate. Asking questions instead of just taking what's given. He walks away but they provoke him once you strikes back, unleashes his wrath; they are quick to play the victim.
She cheated on him he confronted her; she cried and blamed him instead of owning up. His best friend got mad at him because his gf had a fling with his girl before they were ever anything. They slandered his name and judged him harshly. He quit drinking but now they are doing all the things that guilted him about doing. His ex and best friend got together to get back at him. He already walked away because they held a grudge but tried to make him a target but was not showing any weakness or giving into their deceitfulness not giving into the manipulation. He  never seen so much corruption.

Woke up eager and ready to go
Tell me no makes me want it more
Did it myself doing my best to maintain
All the pain heals and open to grow
Feeling myself over others doubting
No love but earning my way keep trucking
Haven't happened yet everything falling a part
Hopefully falling leads to falling into place
New friends old friends just need people accept
They can't handle rejection always holding a grudge
They deny others but can't handled being rejected
Woke up grateful doing my thing too bad no one is happy for me
Been doing what I love so no reason to be sad or miserable
Had it once lost it but working to get it back
Things aren't always meant to be every path leads to somewhere
Praying I end up where I'm meant to be been going strong
Take time to notice what's going on because might miss the view
Sometimes things don't feel right but things are going well
Lots of making it better and not enough enjoyment

They'll bad mouth you
Don't listen keep being better
Try to knock you down
Get back up go hard
Slander your name
Stay clear of their dirt
Saying it can't be done
You've already done it
Fighting to survive positive vibes
Not feeding egos by giving in
Crazy enough to stand alone
Come back for more no surrender
Family becomes strangers
Friends become foes
Learning to walk tall use to being alone

I remember the good blind to the bad. Dk the whole story not sure how to act or respond seems like you're always mad. I'd like to he happy. Extra tired being drained not living up to these made up standards that no one cares to live upto.
All the talk and no action. False promise words that hold no meaning. Time wasted lost in every pointless conversation. Not feeding an ego or giving up on efforts to be liked be accepted by people that do nothing but talk about one another.
Don't burning energy to pretend like everything is cool when the betrayal is shady doing the hard workers *****.

Proving yourself making mistakes
Taking the heat not accepting defeat
Struggling can't stay down forever
All the hurt let it go to heal
Memories fade less impact
Feeling saved for the moment
Emotions are stable composed

He laid his head on her lap, she played with his hair asked him about his day. He looked at her and smiled. Thankful he had her, he wasn't confident but glad he made an effort to pursue her. She held his hand and kissed his forehead. She laid next to him and pulled him close. he was big spoon and she was little spoon. She would put her ear near his heart and hear it beat. She like to be close because he was warm and she got cold easily. He had a hard time sleeping he didn't want to miss a thing when they were together. They'd watch movies and tell stories share their deep dark secrets and express themselves in a healthy manner.

About to start a new journal
Filling out each page day by day
As I get closer to finishing and starting a new one
Lots of reflecting, poems/lyrics and dialogue.
My mind wanders and helps me cope
Life is not always fair don't care when I have a pen
Feelings change those bad thoughts come to an end
Imagine it see it feel it believe it
sometimes exploring lead to relieving the tension
Pour it all open on the page paper obsorbs these thoughts
Feelings that don't feel right or make sense
Keeps emotions centered so it wont consume the soul
Writing is never done a never ending process
No need to obsess let it go don't settle for less
It hears me when no one else does
A muted voice it understood in words
Feel free flying with wild birds
Exploring new worlds hoping to find that place
The place that makes sense to call home
Find away home feel cozy in my own skin
Somewhere going strong for the win
New chapter a place for the pen start over write
Do it all over again my mind at peace never let it end

Doing what I love even if they think I'm not good at what I do. Writing is my voice doing my best to express myself without being judged be my best I'm not always going to be liked or wanted around but found my way with out your approval. I'd ask for forgiveness but the only person I forgive is myself for listening to people are not even trying.

Things will never be the same
Rise above the pain overcome shame
Fading memories over come regret
Drop the burden hard to forget
No more giving my love to the wrong
where it's not valued the hurt turns to strength
Find your own way live another day
Who gives a **** what they have to say
Alive within instead of going the flow
As long as you're moving away from the bad
Pursuing your passion call me old fashioned
doesn't matter how slow do something
All I had helped me grow don't need it anymore
Keep working don't like to be broke
Keep hustling others want you to choke
Gave them the benefit of the doubt
All the drama can do without
You talk down on me think you're better than me so act like it because you're fake
Everyone can see through you're act no need to front
Keep it real told the truth you are not about that
That's why you hate on me give me the third degree
Not a yes man don't buy into the BS
Refuse to follow and settled for less

He was tired of being numb
Years of writing skinning the issues
Now gutting them talking about it
From thinking it was foolish
That's how it played out
His heart fooled believing one thing
But their actions told another story
He hated being wrong but it happens
Wanting it things turned out different
Accepting it was hard to take in
Feelings and emotions became unsettling

Cutting ties feeling free
Forgave the person moved
After all the lies never ending
All the manipulation the deceit
No longer involved staying away
Looked out plenty of warnings
Still learning the hard way
Ditching the responsibility others don't want
Not being accountable for stealing
Quick to blame others made a mistake

Like the cold makes it easier to sleep
Cold weather reminds me of football season
Layers keep you warm and beanies can be worn
The fresh cold breeze in my face so relaxing
Hot chocolate taste just right especially at night
Jacket and sweater weather makes things better

Too many negative people like a mood ring
They are toxic and it spreads but blame others
You respect values and expect you to change
You avoid them because they ruin your day
Hard to breathe focus turn things upside down
Traditional values changed going with what is already known
Hard to express so much pent up within
Trying to share does it matter does anyone care
Use to be a lead got judged now facing a firing squad
Worked hard to move up in the company
ended up getting beat up by a lazy employee
Who did nothing and collected a check
Opened my mouth ended up being my fault
Said nothing now everyone is talking
I accept others flaw and all not one to judge
hated for calling them on it quick to point out mistakes
my name out of mouths who don't like me
I don't talk about anyone focused on getting things done

He was tired of all these rules and demands to be accepted they wanted him to change but they did nothing to change. He preferred to be alone but they called him a rebel since they thought isolating him would be a punishment.
He was use to being alone and didnt care to be corrected for having an opinion. Being told how to act was annoying he was responsible for himself. They tried to modify him when they did worse acting like their way was the best way.
He chose to be a man of God trusting his way on God time and plan. He struggled because minding his mouth was hard since everyone kept coming at him. He minded his business while everyone kept talking when they shouldn't even be saying anything.
A bunch of nobodies talking like they are somebody. Instead of owing up quick to pass the blame.

Woke up from a deep slumber; cold and fresh able to rest more. Over the year a round summer.
My bed cozy don't want to move but hunger calls it's time to wake you seize the day. Hard to rest the mind always racing get through the day pacing. Breathe relax enjoy you day off. Wake up tomorrow back to the grind. Work for your dreams invest in yourself. Make it happen get it all never settle for less or go with out.

The house on the hill in the middle of no where
You can see it from the highway at night you see the lights from within
A lonely home islolated barely noticed in the distance unless you are looking for it
The loud road cars racing can't be heard on the hill looking up from the street
The house looks down on traffic like a watch tower
The people who live there never seen

They met at work sharing awkward silent moments both unique and interesting. One worked hard mentally the other physically. They both went to a university it was a bubble till the reality came their way. One would find success the other would struggle to find their way. Debt was coming they had to pay. Working for that degree while getting the 3rd degree. Sad how some get that degree and making minimum wage. This story hard to get through to turn the page both writing their own book one learns with their career the other school of hard knocks with the struggle. Eventually the hype flat lines levels out.
What matters what doesn't not giving into society peer pressure. Rebellion alone paying my phone no one to call to old to be at the mall. Love for the club but not into it anymore you got old it got old. New school old school do what's right loyal and true. In the bubble outside the bubble meant to go keep moving forward don't belong there anymore

We aren't friends friends don't use you or ignore you only when they need something you become an idea. You are married leave me alone, I don't trust you or care to share my day or ideas with you. You have your husband to hear your problems. You make problems making me the scapegoat when you are being deceitful.
I did Appreciate or friendship but you have other commitments that you choose to neglect. I will never be us when you make it about you. You are a wife a we with your husband. You're a friend nothing more but now we are strangers because you made me out to be the bad guy. Your jealous insecure husband dk me but assumes the worse. We can't be friends and not associating is a huge weight off my shoulders. Free from you and your drama no more toxic negativity away no longer a friend but it has come to an end.
Many come and go I respect family and their needs come first once I do my own thing. Why can't you be happy for me. I was glad for you now you're knocking me.

Shared about living not giving up
All the mistakes life lessons
Failing leads to blessings
On the right track no going back
Been with the wrong person
Feeling numb blocking it out
Loved the wrong person
Now it's over seeking closure
Over time the heart at peace
Heals after being in pieces
Writing to feel deal with things
Show emotions process overcome
Instead of numb emotionless

Doing it making the most of it all. Woke up sore that's the best feeling. Just work it earn it no one is going to do it for you. Nothing wrong with being happy over all the guilt trips. Caring for all the wrong people. You empower them to do good be great, but chose to be bad at their worse.

Dealing with alpha females that take and never give back. Emasculate you then have the never to play the victim. Always sit back as they make plans then expect you to pay for their it. Especially since they make drama for everyone. Talk about everyone the audacity to ask for favors. The evil reign of terror with belittling leadership talking about respect but stomping on everyone to get it.

Trying to enjoy life without feeling challenged or accepting defeat. Trying to do right while everything around fails goes wrong. Conflict with cousins not laying down but standing this ground. Spoke up now it feels like the world is done with you set you aside not bothering anymore.
The job expects so much in very little time. Committing to a job that's worth it always free feeling consumed losing it all to be one way use to being the wild one.

He was seen as a threat because he didn't have kids or married. He was in no rush or hurry to do so. He enjoyed life while still trying to be friends with couples but it always went wrong. He was accused of making the friend cheat on their partner how insecure was that. Soon the friendship would be sunk because of random events. He respected the concept of family and his friends happiness till one day he would become the middle man and scapegoat for their failing relationship. One of two outcomes came from this first the husband would blame him for his shady actions while cheating and two the girl would catch feelings for him to make her partner jealous. This middle man kept secrets and knew the dirt but did not making it worse. He would bail no longer be in the picture erased from events.
He was open and honest he wished them the best but found it annoying that he was made out to be the vilian while they would be courupt pretending to be innocent. He would fade out lose contact to find out their actions would comeback to them. He was annoyed that he did nothing wrong but was accused.
He once had a friend that attended college with they had a fling nothing serious but did have mixed signals. He was not jumping in because she was stuck on an ex that she would marry later. As time passed they would reconnect but this time it was much worse a married woman acting like she had it still but she was married how can you tell another you loved him while being with someone else this made no sense. He would stay away hard to have friends in a relationship and tolerate couples.
He's dealt with couple most cheat or in a loveless relationship only to hold on to some history or because of the kids they stayed in this pointless situation. He lost friends because once they started getting laid they forgot about their friends. He had close females too but once they started to settling down as well they acted like they were loyal when he knew they had been around the block more than spinning top. He stayed loyal and true to his friends even though they assumed and accused him of the worse.
He hung with alchies and druggies never judged them for their habits saw a good person but after a while he got tired of settling and others talking he would cut ties no longer allowing people who didn't care about him have a say. They made him out to be a monster hiding the fact they were worse off finding him a target to dump the blame. He was trying to hard but he did more than most gave his all not expecting anything in return.
He walked away got tired of waiting around tired of being mistreated by people who thought they were better but all an act and front he knew the truth and never head it against them. He was not not like the rest he was seen as a threat because he didn't find happiness in others or rely on them to make him happy because they weren't happy with themselves and he didn't need them. He didn't use people but saw good in them even if they don't feel good about themselves.

Always one to think before speaking
Loves everyone; who is fair, equally
Faced betrayal not surprised anymore
Not one to bad mouth others
Nice to my face respect is shown
Lots of tongue lashes to my back
Saw good in them, got proved wrong
Not empowering the decietful behavior
Walked away not connecting to a downgrade
Working to level up get to the next level
Not going back down, been there before
Not one to back down, focused on success not less
Keeping positive head on these shoulders
Too old for games, be real not time for fakes
Speak truth, no time for hate fueled lies

Being able to talk about it
Pressure of your chest
Others understand for once
Able to relate not the exception
Everyone struggles mentally
Physically exhausted pushing through
Going through something
Staying sober dealing with feelings
Before taking a drink an overreaction
Writing to cope instead of being dramatic
Being able to express without criticism
One's self in a healthy manner
Have a heart without being called soft
Show feelings not be seen as sensitive
Be emotional without being called emo
Shedding tears while hurt be hard
Told to be hard show no emotions
Be down for yours never back down
No one cares not materialistic
Produce results final outcome

Always working hard because it needs to be done and it's the job but over being ignored and overlooked. If you deserve the position and would for it it should be yours but it doesn't work out like that so many considered while left huffing and puffing. If you don't want to move up or advance what's the point of being there. I've always taken pride and gave my all into my work. I help others someone once told me treat people right and things will get better lots of mixed emotions someday are great others are regret and dreading the day because I give so much and it's never enough. I think highly and respect others and I'm taken for granted ignored and forgotten. I like to give my all make it happen. I'm struggling to make my moments and losing focus always been a team player but one sided by coworkers never considers others. Sometimes I care too much other times I want to walk away never go back. I'm not happy with the fake people I avoid them.

Sometimes being to deep and honest makes it hard to sleep. Letting go is hard when I need you you're never there. Now I moved on don't care now you're back acting like nothing happened. Protect myself from your wicked ways not interested regardless if you come or stay. What nonsense do you have to say to impose your way. Over your selective ways in and out making my friendship a convenient. Things go well not even thought of but when crap hits the fan all of a sudden an idea and thought of. Breaking this cycle not playing these games over all the drama no shame not playing over all the lies and pain. Fading memories no longer remain

I don't really have a type but the kid of girls that grab my eyes do jujitusu or play softball. I like tough girls but when they are with you they are caring and sensitive away from the sport. Not into physical feature but I like big eyes and a cute smile. A big ***** is a bonus but I don't have a type just saying that's what catches my eye. I like mixed half something mix that makes interesting that's another way to see unique it's the personality that is a deal breaker you can be the most beautiful person ever but if you have a crap personality you are ugly. I've learned you need to be humble treat people. Stop letting your insecurity consume you and your happiness.
I'm not use to compliments but I rarely give them out when I do it really impressed me or caught my eye. I'm not quick to say I love you unless I mean it or my feelings are true. I don't use people or have a hidden agenda it's true or nothing.it makes things easier too bad it's complicated for others. I tell the truth not what you want to hear. I like honesty but it's so hard to come by not picky but if you treat me right I'll be good to you communicate don't pick and choose when you want to be involved with my life. As I get older the dating world is slim pickings I usually want them and they don't want me. Or they want me but I'm not interested or emotionally available.
My friends say put yourself out there I do it's like I pop up when everyone is taken or going through a break up giving me their worse I work with it but they go back or quick to get with someone else because they can't handle being alone.
Times have changed when I wanted friends with benefits everyone wanted to get serious now I'm looking for something serious and everyone wants to be in an open relationship. I don't like sharing taking people serious or don't waste their time.

Drawing trying to see it feel it in his head. From the pencil on the page letting go of raw emotions that are pent up. Letting go of all the toxic bad people. He wanted to retaliate but realized it was a waste of time. They'll get triggered to justify their actions. They have hate boiling and burning on the back burner. Ready to serve it but not taking it or interested in what's being dished out.

Worried about everyone stressing
Trying to stay calm not over react
Stay invested instead of shutting down
Playing off others wasting time
All in for the win giving everything
All the change in a fit of rage
Final chapter shut the book
Open a new book emotionally invested
The beginning drags the middle gets engaging
End is near coming to conclusions
Hard to take it all in expecting more getting less
Lost interest more involved ready to leave

***** how you cant have an opinion
They'll try to silence you for being different
If you disagree every attack gets personal
Over a joke or asking a question
Talking about change but no one wants it
He didn't argue they'd change the topic of discussion
Jumping labels manipulating the conversation
Titles with false sense of empowerment
Debating trying to dictate the narratives

Being called delusional for having a dream that doesn't evolve around you.
Being called a narcissistic for not giving up values and ones self
Had bad leads did  their work it made me better
Dealt with good leads that are supportive Gaining more confidence
Stepping it up filling the void since it needs to done
Doing the work even if others are not satisfied show up, help don't just criticize
Thankful for growing qnd