She noticed him and he noticed her, there was a sparkle in their eyes. They would meet through a mutual friend. He smiled and said hi. She noticed his ****** piercings and asked if it hurt. Both with big smiles. He noticed her brown hair that was curly like curly fries.
They talked got to know one another he was brown and she was mixed. She enjoyed his company, he was not use to anyone caring because he grew up with tough love. They spent time together it was rewarding and all new to this late bloomer. He remembered the first time they kissed it was magicial intense his heart skipped a beat things felt right for once.
Eventually it would be short lived since the puppy love fadee away. From close to complete stranger being in the same room was no longer possible. They got anxiety and not able to communicate.

Growing up poor made me want to do more and be better. The new generation wants to lower standards and wants everything handed without doing anything to earn it. Like a relationships some want all the perks with no commitment. People only last months I admire my grandparents relationship 65 years together. I understand people grew up different my elder set examples I applied it to my life.
I respect change when there's order and everyone benefits. now a days all these protests and laws are not enforced. It's a lost cause wasting taxes and time.

Woke up and realized it don't matter anymore
He doesn't have to dwell on the past
Living in the moment focused on the future
No more memories haunting his days
Can't remember the past all that is a daze
Free from the burden that weighed him down
All who kept him out are no longer around
Thinking for himself not influenced by others
No more voices telling him he couldn't
Back to doing his thing without doubt
Use to being alone and could go without
Not like the rest that's okay different for a reason
Not meant to fit in made to be different
He seen them weak vulnerable never judged them
The tried to knock him, he was secure confident with himself.
He had a mouth lethal like a weapon
he said nothing they talked provoked him
Once he spoke, shut them up silence was fuel
now they play victim now he's the bad guy
He broke free turned his back waiting for the attack
knifed before not surprised to add another to his collection
Avoiding negative people not inhaling their toxic vibes. Not allowing their poisonous debris seep into his pores
He was immune didn't want to be a virus like them but become the cure.
Rather then hold on he let go of them and no longer saving room for their disappointment. He was not one of them he was from another mold and they were the same never willing to change their ways.
He was open minded positive open to grow and changed believed there was no limited
While they told him no to think realistically. He had traveled the world experienced more than them as they stayed in their bubble like if could control everything. He refused to empower them and focused on his journey being more than he could imagine. He tried more than most he would not be denied and not settled. The cream will rise break through the glass ceiling on many occasions he's touched it been there but now he was ready to make it on the next level.

Feeling trapped in my head so many make me think k onto over thinking.
I like my job but over being bounced around. I'd like to focus on what I love which is writing and jujitsu so many time conflicts and restrains that make me think and wonder.
I write all the time some tell me I'm good, while others criticize ripping me a new one. Some people like to get in your head ruin your inner peace because they are not happy with themselves. I'm one to help and encourage others, I use to want and help others; I'd rather be alone found comfort in my own company.
Took time out to figure it out, things don't feel right others try to contaminate your good vibes
Sometimes I want to write and post other times; I just save them, why write if you can't share.
I don't know sometimes, things pile up in my head. Writing is the only way to get it out, also podcasting, I love express myself that's why people get mad at me because I tell the truth lieing takes up too much, time and energy. I prefer to be straight up. Been a while trying to get back at it

He looked at pix of old friends wondering how they are he missed them. Some were busy with families others wanted nothing to do with him. He made mistakes and stayed away he was sorry but would never be treated the same or seen an equal.
He could only lower himself for so long tired of lowering himself feeling degraded for forgiveness. Things would never change or be the same so he had to cut the cord and move on. They weren't saving his place but pushing him out. It was tough learned the hard way there was no going back. He was human tired of everyone trying to make him out to be a crazy person since he had an opinion and spoke his mind.

He was anxious to meet people but they always kept him out but he did like people being social. He wasn't like the rest he was honest because it makes things easier and he didn't like being lied to so why like to others. He was getting older marriage and kids not in his cards. He did enjoy life so many friends came and went like the seasons. Some had families and he respected that others had controlling girlfriends he didn't agree but they got married who was he to come between that. He was part of the dating world but now a days it's shallow and slim pickings. He was working being responsible some women want you to have it together want this high standard of life they can't even live up to.
The young ones did find him attractive most young and wild living life not ready to settle down. He was open to commitment but no one was willing or ready to settle down. He noticed everyone was stuck on an ex or a failed engagement not ready to move on to the next not losing faith on someone they truly love blind to the reality they had found someone new replacing them but in denial not losing faith stuck but one day that person said I deserve better and broke free from the madness and insanity instead of holding on to the past like a blanket of security. Found strength moved forward trying to find love not losing faith because it once was real now make it a reality

Some people change for the better
While others are stuck with trauma
Room to grow time to improve
Not easy to get over things right away
Working harder told you don't belong
Looked down on like it couldn't be done
Treated different all the doubt used
As motivation to get strong
Improving to be better at work
Proving them wrong changing it up
Most of all to yourself taking credit
Stop with the discredit always working it
Because they refused to give you props
All the roadblocks fade onto new challenges
The journey is full of detours
Make the most of it and learn

He wiped his tears stood up to his fears
Family was his strength and weakness
He was taking on the world
Rather than have his back they squared up
He didn't want to go there if he did there was no upside
Someone was always mad holding a grudge he wasn't surprised anymore
He said nothing all they did was talk loud it didn't make them right
He smiled and they hated him for it
No longer self destructive and drinking
Not eating his emotions away staying clear of his bad habits
Staying away from others toxic traits they try to project on him

A week earlier

A young man and this girl he was into hung out this day would change everything. They felt like a couple and had all the benefits but he wanted to make official he wanted her to be his girl. Turns out she had other plans she like how everything was going but didn't want to take it to that level. Things became awkward and weird. The two grew distant and things would never be the same.
He would confront her try to make it right but things got much worse. She was with a new person and things looked serious.
He was broken deep down and said nothing. Later her roommate would confront the broken man. She apologized for her roomies actions because the truth came out this girl was not loyal and was stringing along, this nice caring person.
The guy felt bad and hurt till a few months later he decided to move on and date again.
He met a young girl sweet wasn't his type but she would ask him out for coffee. He didn't drink coffee but did like hot chocolate. They would socialize get to know one another better. Till he felt confident and trusted her worked up the courage to ask her out on a date. Get to know her more be free from the previous death grip that burden him.
While on their date his evil ex would see them, later he would be confronted by her; she would ask, who is that and how long have you been seeing on another? The guy was puzzled, why would she care; who he dated. she was already with someone. To make things or confusing she told him she missed him then kissed him on the cheek.
The guy didn't not get this rejection but did grow while dating.

The clock ticks and tocks
Time feels like it's running out
Trying to do it so close yet so far
Coming up short another plan
Still doing it haven't got to the next level

Back to work after 6 months of being down. I'd rather do it alone. I've been my own advocate till the doctor suggested a care taker. It was scary but I had to be brave. My motto was crazy enough to comeback for more.
Lots of praying giving it to God. Part of me wants to argue but it's not worth or worthy of my time. Trying to change not going back to bad habits. Not back tracking or stopping for anyone trying to derail the track.

He faded away didn't care to live up to the hype. Struggling with his situation not taking on others frustrations. Always giving his all it was catching up to him. He wanted to shut down more determined than the rest another loved one distracted sending toxic vibes his way.
Not always right didn't have the answer.

He would strike out again
Anxious to get out of this slump
He would work on his game
Everything he loved was slipping away
He practiced and tried seeing in from all angles
The game was life if he quit
asking where he would end up
It was all he had it made him happy
The power behind his swing the timing was off
Throwing the ball was painful but needed his arm
All he wanted was to get on first kept it simple
The home run swing is missing the game changed
He loved it but his time was running out

With pictures on the wall reminding you of good times. Pondering and wondering what happened to the good time? You are older and wiser before you told yourself you'd never get old it's a state of mind. New friends old friends everything changes even if you want it or not.
Those photos tell stories moments you wish one can recreate live all over again and some you just glad they happened moved on to the next. Treasured moments by the heart some cycle stuck on a loop in the mind, the memories fresh like the day it happened. Sometimes the hardest part is taking down those photos you stare at them and it takes you back. Question the outcome sadly you can't change those events. Some forgive you and move on others hold a grudge and cut you out of their life. While some create families and start a life with their one true love. Some it happens right away others live and will eventually settle down. Photos show how far you gone from young to old, from thin to thick. A time when you were single the beginning of love some are during a tough time but you smile through it all.

Made out to be the bad guy
Why are they mad
Because no don't care
Trying to slander his name
Belittle his character
Hell never talk about them
They are not a thought
Never going to be a priority
For their devious acts
Not tolerating deceitful behavior
He doesn't care to be right or liked
The truth will conquer misleading lies

Worked hard about to get off thinking what to eat and what to read That's the best way to end the night. Wake up do it all over again. Thankful to be working consistent instead of worrying where I'll be and end up. Always open to learn and grow finding my way not like everyone else or settling for less.

Fire in the belly ready to burn through
Not going back or staying down
Rising up let go of the past
Going forward head up going strong
Avoiding another downwards spiral
Toxic people not the place anymore
Meant for better loose from anguish
Shame on this face disgust seeping out
Wrestling pain bad memories remain
Taking back control trying to live
Dealing with the unknown surviving
A life outside this building
Change the situation save yourself

Working to pursue a dream
Lots of body aches and pains
On this journey to somewhere new
Can't stay stuck in the old looping past
Doing less work for him talked about
Doing too much still had them talking
All the pain faded but still intense
All the drama no longer welcomed
Taking over trying not to fail
Not be consumed by angered frustration

Saw beauty in her eyes and wanted to be much more. He loved the world saw a smile that melted his heart. Laughter that was soothing to his soul. Admired others for being different everyone has their own life to live. Make the most of it. He loved to travel the scenery made him feel at home. He appreciated the taste of great food with amazing company. So many wonderful experiences he wanted to share but those he admired he kept close to his heart treasured those good times because they made his life feel finer more rich with wealth that gave him comfort. Always on edge trying to make it happen get it done he misses things but he didn't want to rest because he didn't want to miss a thing. It felt like something was missing but found it was there he just had to make time for it.

Of course "you think you're better than me. Why don't you act like it." He said in a heated argument. He didn't have much but worked hard and thankful for what he had. He'd rather do his own thing than bother with everyone's drama and criticism. He became immune to being alone he found peace. When people called or texted him they wanted or needed something it did rub him the wrong way. Giving his all and expecting nothing in return was more demanding when all he wanted was to be left alone.

He knew that changing with the times to stay relavent. He didn't want to give up on himself but he would evolve as a person. The disappointment made him more determined. The break ups made him stronger. He was learning to love again even though he was causious of who he would let into his world. He loved so many people found out they were bad mouthing him so he had to let them go. He did hold place for them in his heart but did not get close kept a distance from these people who betrayed his trust.
He didn't like being alone he was social in a smart phone universe so many texting or posting but no one could express themselves to another being. He was one who looked the girl he loved in the eyes told her how he felt things were right. Eventually things changed not in his favor when he sobered up things got easier made more sense. He coped checked his emotions and ego at the door learning to love again. He hated the outcome but made the most of things.

He was too old to be mad and beefing with everyone. He did distance himself from things been working on being a better version of himself. Some still think he's that person they met long ago. He did make mistakes he's been wrong learned the lesson and forgave himself learned to no expect much so he won't be disappointed. Knowing if he wanted it he would have to work for it and earn it.
He's thankful for the people that accepted him. He was tired of altering himself to be accepted. Not this person they made him out to be.

Being the voice of reason
Everything changing a new season
Thankful for the old times
Blessed with the new crew
Finally got props from the team
Usually working hard feeling pointless
Mentoring others that want to learn
Trying to help constructive criticism
Being pushed by corrupt leadership
Years of being used finally rising up
Learning everything possible
Can't wait around on anyone
From behind the scenes to a lead
Taking charge since no one wants it

The people talking don't do anything
That's why no one talks about them
They'll make you out to be the bad guy
Slander your name just run with it
Sooner or later the lies exposed with the truth
Some get comfortable disrespecting you
Someone will check and put them in their place
The mouth keeps talking and will get caught up
Some have a bad day why make it worse
If it's possible to help out
Contribute be the solution
Not add to the problem

He told his cousin it would comeback to her. You can't disrespect people and expect them to listen. She got comfortable telling others her opinion when no one asked. People appreciate honest the blindside would make people more angry.

Eventually all that would comeback to her. All the lies and deceit would come out secrets exposed. Talking down or bad about others doesn't make you a better person. One opinion doesn't matter but trying to manipulate others to follow your hateful methods is unacceptable.

Some people already have it hard they don't need you pointing out the obvious or trying to make them feel the way you're projecting your insanity on them. You dk their life or what they are thinking. how they are feeling to impose your intrusive thoughts.

Another black eye swells up
Icing it while it goes numb and stings
Told the truth the argument got physical
Doesn't matter anymore egos got bitter
One life causing pain on others
The other doing what's right
The lioness was lusting wildly
Set in those bad habits
Unwilling to change a fit of rage

He needed help and got tired of waiting on people
His time wasn't valued or respected
Dealing with attitudes his "help" not morning people
He loved them feeling betrayed
Angry because they are not reliable
Telling him not to stress making it hard
Thankful and blessed not settling for less

Waiting around ready to get out of town
On the road and no where need home
Can't go back but no where to go
Judge for being different but not following
Why fit in when the rules keep changing never in my favor
Not playing anymore walking away is the best way to be free
Think what hurts most is this hate is coming from the ones I love
I think highly of them but they don't see me as anything
like glass looking right through me trying to break me shatter into a million pieces
Works for them not working for me
Always adapt and adjust so much broken trust
The anger is blocked out because overreaction means they got the best of you by being just like them
In such a phase sometimes overwhelmed in a daze. Sharing my thoughts feelings everyone sees it like a craze phase. One gets them to gang up on you they can't beat you alone
The one who's sending the hate ain't anything just pretending to be great.
You don't answer or respond now they act surprised not giving into the lies or making excuses a sorry alibi

He was hard working
Because he spoke English and born in the  US he got treated different by his people from the motherland. He didn't like living up to stereotypes but did prove them wrong.
Taking on crap that had nothing to do with him. Stuck in an argument that had nothing to do with him. He learned to walk away; before he would argue, never back down.