i do not love you
words are not in abundance
i am not drawn to you
like birds migrating to
warmer heavens
i felt something brief,
my breath was caught
by love's noose,
but stranger things happen,
i do not love you,
because to love you
would be to become you,
to capsize like a boat,
submerging into red seas,
i do not love in small measures,
to do so would be worse
than blasphemy,
i feel for you,
but i do not love you,
i do not search for your
face in crowds,
i do not love in honesty,
only lies pounding
hoofs on loves ground.
i cannot love you,
because the taste of it is
strange in my mouth,
an unwanted flavour,
like sand and dust,
in the midst of something
that should be sweet.
i do not love you,
or i cannot love at all.

I will always regret
Not knowing better
When I was young.

I should have spent
More time
Creating myself.

Instead, I learned
To define myself
Through other people.

Now, in my old age
I have finally gained the wisdom
To know I wasted my life.

I wasted my life not creating a life
And I'll never be a real person.

Sometimes, it is just too late.

And one day,
Things didnt seem
So bad anymore.

Nothing really changed,
But there was a sparkle of light
Peaking through the perpetual gray clouds.

The silver linings
Were surrounding the darkness.

My whole world,
A little less dark
A little less gloomy.

But if nothing really changed,
How could anything get better?

Maybe I just got used to it.

He wasn't supposed to know, wasn't supposed to find out

That he was what she was always crying about.

He said, "It really doesn't bother me, nothing has to end."

He said, "Things won't change and we can still be friends."



But the lies that he told were not as white as he had thought,

And he left her all alone with the darkness that she fought.

He never meant to hurt her, and it hadn't occurred,

Because no matter how much pain there was she never said a word.



At times, she finds that silence is more deafening than words.

She's screaming in her soul in octaves he has never heard.

He goes about his daily life, and just on a whim,

He says hello as he walks by, though she is nothing to him.



She smiles as he passes, but it's nothing more than a lie.

She's tired of living, but she doesn't want to die.

She goes about her daily life, and just on a whim,

She writes a little poem, and her mother calls it grim.



She lifts up onto the bus seat, and she closes her eyes.

The bus begins to roll as she silently cries.

She slips on her headphones and disappears into the sounds

Of a world in which his face is not the only one around.

I am invisible
five days out of seven
I am unseen
with what’s pushed to the back of your brain
but what is seen to keep me alive
is the taste of honey that stays on my lips
after I kiss away my care
of anything that worries
“my pretty little head“

Days spent with an invisible friend,
and nights spent with an invisible lover.