stop shaking your leg
why do you move so much?
stop biting your nails
why don't you paint those nails?
put on deodorant
how can you sweat so much?
stay inside tonight
why do you never hangout with us?
stop clenching your teeth
you always seem so uptight
don't think about that
why are you always so sad?
get up and get dressed
why do you always wear that?
put on makeup it's pretty
you look better without makeup
don't wear makeup
why do you look so dead?
people won't stare if I wear all black
who died?
quit with all these nervous ticks!*
you always act so concerned...

Oh, what I would give to kiss you one last time
Your lips were as divine as wine.
A strawberry shortcake
Soft and sweet
Dripping and delicious
You were always such a treat.
I don't eat meat, but if I did,
My teeth would be dug deep in your skin.
I really don't know what you think about me
I just miss you, my strawberry.

I locked all the doors that surround my heart
But why did I give you the keys?

What does depression look like?
Oh, please tell me. I must know!
Is it just a hoax or a mind game played with me?
Why does it feel like my heart will bleed?
That pitter-patter I hear in my chest
Is it just a heartbeat or is a metronome ticking away the minutes until my mind goes astray?
What does depression look like?
A foggy glass pane?
That noise it makes when it rains?
It feels like an eternity, when it's only been an hour.
It feels like when you can't get out of the shower.
What does depression look like?
Oh can't you see!!!
Depression, oh depression, is inside of me!
He is not polite and he does not use manners!
He just barges in and demands I answer
What does depression look like?
My bed hasn't been made in years and my friends all bore me to tears
But where do I draw the line
Between where my brain is ****** up and everything is fine?
Please, God, tell me!
Does everyone feel this way or is it just me?
Am I being irrational?
Do I let my brain wander?
Between what's real or if it was just a blunder
What does depression look like?
I haven't left the house in months
And when I do I just feel in a rut
I wonder if people see me and think I'm okay?
I wonder if I prayed this would all go away?
I'm a being of lonliness, sorrow and despair.
I'm a creature cursed with depression
My bones are crumbling and bare
What does depression look like?
You tell me 
I'm quiet on the outside and screaming internally
I feel myself decaying and I feel my heart breaking
I just want to wake up from this horrifying dream
Where every piece of me is splitting at the seams
I don't try to be depressed
I want to smile but it's hard when there's weights pulling down on your eyeballs
And I want to tell you all that I'm not okay
But I'm afraid I can't come out with that
No not today.

Unsaturated and full of fear
Speaking faintly, consciously
Through these stupid ******* poems
Both of us adore so much
Refreshing every second to see if you have said more
Please say more.

Five fingers clasped hands I held so tightly
That now hold this stupid pen I use to write to you
When will we grasp the courage to speak?

Never will I feel safe to spill onto you
The pool of blood and tears my heart and eyes contain
Why am I still hung up on the very thing that first tied the noose?

His lips will taste different than any lips I've ever consumed
They always do
The most savory treat that I've had the pleasure of eating
Devouring.
Grabbing hold of, grasping firmly, and just scarfing down what is ultimately delicious
What is entirely mine
A snack that few have inhaled
That few have feasted upon
The perimeter that encompasses the area to which he makes me feel such bliss
Causing me to fall limp on my knees
Begging for more
Craving.
Pleading.
That I desire becomes every thing I've ever deserved
All I've ever wanted
Paralyzed by lust, he places his lips in bearings I have only dreamed of
Hallucinations struck into me by love itself
Debilitating.
Numbing.
Leaving me raw and defenseless
An unconcealed breast shimmering in the light cast from the sunset
Peaking through the drapes
The feeling of fragility keeping me taut
Strong.
Beautiful.
As he takes over my body
I lose my sense of self
Only to have it come back to me another day
Greater.
Grander.
More ***** than pure
When he places his hands on me I feel more alive than I have in years
And suddenly, there is no such thing as insecure
I am lovely
Gorgeous.
Better than any of the rest
No one else he skims will feel softer on his fingertips.