Your fake concern.
Your lying heart I had unfortunately had to learn.
Your cheating ways how it cut & burn.
My trusting chance you wasted.
My sweetness for a moment you tasted.
My broken heart can't be taped, glued, or pasted.
For a while you have become a permanent ***.
Holding up signs at an intersection don't get my pity.
Not here or in any other city.
Our "relationship" was like a play.
You just used me so your miserable *** could have a lay.
With you I never wanted to live with or stay.
I promise in the end karma will pay.
Be presentable, admirable, & commendable.
Independent, & capable.
Not needy & dependant.
Pay your own mortgage or rent.
Be far enough away so I can't smell your odor.
Deodorant, soap, & cologne is not expensive.
Use toothpaste, mouthwash, & a razor to be nice.
Wash, shave, & brush so you don't get lice.
Your a stench & a disease
I would never touch, embrace, or squeeze.
You will forever be a two timing ******.
Your ticket punched.
A non productive drunk.
Your whole life is a problem unshrunken.
No thanks with you I wouldn't eat lunch.
I have lost my appetite.
Your a eye sore in my sight.
Now that your homeless, old, ugly, diseased, stench of liquor & tobacco, & unemployed.
Your status is void.
Who are your prospects?  
Who would want to be with you?
Not me.

A wanted & desired presence.
A warm soft baby hand.
Big baby eyes.
Chubby cheeks with a personality so meek.
A precious soul to complete your life whole.
Babyfood in a bowl.
Let's go to the park with others.
So if we are together or not people won't wonder.
Impatience is driven.
Of how you visualize living.
Creating your own vision.
Happiness, peace, & love you envision.
An existence chosen.
An occupation worked & you got paid.
To finance a home we stayed.
A tax return brings opportunity of independence.
So living with "mommy" is no longer a dependence.
My own things is what dollars bring.
An oven, a stove, a refrigerator, a bed/futon, a closet, a toilet, a tub, a faucet, a sink, blinds, & a carpet.
All things that aren't broken & work.
My own food, toaster, pots, pans, cups, & plates.
I want to stay inside.
Sit here, write, watch DVDs & hide.
To the paper with my pen my feellings confide.
A bigger online world opens wide.
The internet cultivates while hope waits.

Playing games
In your childhood seemed the same.
My disowned parent is who I blame.
For the next bad thing that came.

I used to be happy & sweet.
Until "mommy" introduced us to a stranger to meet
There is no justice on the street.
Police never arrested him after everyone he tortured, *****, & beat.

For the yard a tree swing,
Joy & excitement is what that brings.

I have inside knowledge with insight.
The true meaning of fear & fright.
The difference between wrong & right.

My past ruins my future & damns the present.
In my life one by one enemies are sent.
To **** joy & make me their toy.
To ****** every girl & boy.

I hate the house where I grew up.
Bad memories invade & erupt.
Sickness spreads & corrupts.

Never trust everyone in this world.
On it's finger evil twirled.

Generous & giving.
To me I she will be out living.
Probably by more than twenty years.
I have my paranoia & fears.
I wish us never to die or age.
To earn more than minimum wage.

Delicate, fragile hearts still beating.
A will to live is undefeating.
Kind, sweet, innocent, pure, & golden.
A life, birthed, loved, & chosen.
A protected memory shielded frozen.

Letters of hoping remain unopened.
Unhealing & never coping.
Trauma & damage, somehow we will manage.

Burning passion melts the ice from my rage.
Feelings go unsaid.
Words written erased & unread.
Warm in our beds resting our heads.
Stress weighs on my heart like lead.
Sometimes we go unfed.
My love or *** or is never wed.

Grains of sand fall through the cracks.
Gritty & hot between your toes.
Squishy & mushy in the salty water.
Waves crash forward one after another.
During the winter & the summer.
The rocks near the shore have seagulls.
They are waiting for the fish.
Their silent daily wish.

At the beach it was just us two.
I couldn't are anyone else there I knew.
The color of the water was green & blue.

The ghost voice speaks, but can it see?
La Jolla Cliffs is haunted.
On video tape in 2008 I recorded it's voice that taunted.
Then it said ' Ha ha, I found you".
Spooky right? It wasn't like Casper saying "boo".

It said " Ariel come closer".
It's like it chose her.

Seashells wash up on the shore.
Like little presents from the sea floor.
The relentless sun bakes your flesh.
Sunblock or sunscreen works the best.
Feeling thirsty to drink some ice water.
Under the shade from the trees just me & my daughter.

Repel & bind evil you find.
Forsake & return everything it takes.
When thee earth crumbles & quakes.
It makes it's presence known.
Sometimes it even calls you on the phone.
Never trust a cheater.
Don't marry a wife beater.
Stay away from the perverts.
Psych wards is where they medicate the berserk.

Shun your eyes from their exposure.
Regain your calm composure.

Don't bargain or compromise.
Death's eternity without pity & no where to hide.
Justice juristiction is wide.
In the end they will get their demise.
See the truth through their lies.
Use all of your mind & be wise.

Don't waste your time with the queer.
Listen & have a good ear.
You can hear them talk through the walls.
Behind the doors in the bathroom stalls.
Various messengers deliver a warning.

The streets will be flooded.
The grass & dirt mudded.

Don't entertain the boring.
All night until the morning..
Outside the rain will be pouring.

One day your there the next day your not.
My life hasn't been how I had thought.
I remember everything for me you had taught.
For us not much you ever bought.
Our ****** you never fought.
Growing up we didn't really have alot.
In the grave pedofiles need to rot.
Everything I seek I have sought.

Because of the events that transpired I loathe.
From then on I always slept in clothes.
Do few photos together we had posed.
I remember naps daily you would doze.
Like a thorned rose resentment froze.

You were always proud of us.
Even though for years we took the bus.

You were my only real dad.
The times we had shared made me glad.
Your death in 2009 made me sad.
In the past things happened to us that were bad.
At least until age 10 for us a Dad we had.
"Mom" divorcing you made us mad.
Child molestor wore a flannel shirt of plaid.