She did nothing as he ***** us.
She did nothing as he murdered the neighbor's dog.
She did nothing as he whipped us.
He drugged us & knocked us out.
He ***** us & tried to **** us
The torture & torment.
He got away with it all is how that went.
The gun "mama' got him was for his own protection.
I still remember I have recoalition.

So he had it everytime someone called the cops.

It would be in his left hand behind the open door.

Law enforcement knew nothing & still don't.

It was 1988 to 1991.
The sick ******* had his fun.

Now "mother" just lays in a puddle of ****.
I am sure the past is not something anyone would want to live over or miss.
Everyday all day with no ambition or goals.

The filth & stench surround her.
Nothing beautiful or eye pleasing.
Just stale air & wheezing.

She is almost 80 & she doesn't care how she looks, smells, or feels.
The same with her house.

The only time she felt he had to go was when he threw a knive at "my brother".
After all that I no longer wanted her as a "mother",
I disowned then all by changing my name in 2008.
To control my own destiny & dictate my own fate.
Choose myself who I do or don't want to date.

He put alcohol in our drinks.
As minors so we could not be concisous to consent or think .

A disgust I could not stand.
He made me carry their dead bodies by the handful to the toilet to flush with my bare hands.
He kept dead fish in the freezer.

I was 12 & my sister was 9.
As children with my dad we grew up fine.
Until the day my "mom" kicked him out he lived in his van.
Then she decided to move in a child molestor man.

If we were out with our friends after 5:00 he beat with his belt.
Abuse, fear, & hatred is what we felt.
He disrespected, abused, & ***** us.
He was an infectious disease he did as he pleased.
My sister told her teacher.
The police or paramedic never did reach her.
She died several times.
She is still alive....us he has not returned to find.
I couldn't save her she was 9 & I was 12.
He told me if I tried to save her the same thing would happen to me.
He tied "my brother" to a chair.
With a rag over his face he poured water there.
I think he tied, gagged, & locked "mom" in a closet where she peed herself for I don't know how long.
He said she was at work but her purse was still there so something seemed wrong.

"My sister" he spent hours punishing her by strangulation & recessesiation repeatedly because he is sick.
No body wanted his ****.
He strangled & killed the dog next door.
For the next three years or more.
All three of us became his *** slave "******".
"Mom" got him a loaded gun even though we were poor.
He would **** on our toothbrushes.
As soon as we fell asleep to **** us to our beds he rushes.
He would spit in our cereal.
It was unbelievable.
Abuse & evil inconceivable.

Dangerous damage uncontrolled.
Cloaked invisible & unwhole.
Hours wasted turned into days.
Strength to protect.
Regrets confidence can't let.
Degraded & hated.
Sadistic & overrated.
Real fragile feeling.
Broken shattered lives still healing.
Summoned evil & unearthed a demon.
Void of sense, logic, & reason.

Damaged & broken.
It was my throat the devil man was choking.
My words are true of that I am never joking.

A delicate & fragile child.
Abuse suffered & never recovered.
Cursed never to marry a significant other.

No one hears my screams.
No one can cleanse my body clean.
To return what was taken & make it pure.
To shield & create & patent it's cure.
To make me as I am & were.

Waiting to get paid so we can be fed.

No to care.
It is not fair.
That for me no one is out there.

Bored, neglected, & ignored.
Bitterness & conclusion is stored.
Show me who is boss.
Marry me no matter what the cost.
Make a promise about me you will forever care.
To stay in my life & always be there.

Everything about you I could know I already learned.
I have noticed your concern.
Too much sunshine my skin will burn.
You have become my sole attraction.
There is competition.
A minor distraction.
In the end I will get your reaction.

Good luck charms...
Wrap around me your arm.
My love is disarmed.
By your presence my senses are alarmed.
You are handsome, tall, & strong.
I am completely seduced by your charm.
I see trust in his eyes.
An intelligent mind that is wise.
His smile enchants & I am mesmerized.
An image like the light of the first sunrise.
Magical & sacred.
Blessed & without hatred.
You are absolutely the best.
You pass the test.
My mind relaxes & my fears put to rest.

Windows with no holes in the screens.
Countertops & tables surfaces that are clean.
Sinks with no ***** dishes.
My own bedroom & refrigerator to put whatever we wishes.
Our own closet with a security deposit.
Without dust or mold.
No cobwebs clinging in the heatless cold.
An oven that works with a toilet that flushes.
With maintenance that rushes.
A fridge that don't leak.
A bed that don't creak.
A household that is organized, clean, & neat.
Trash taken out daily & never overflowing.
Spacious & roomy with people adoring.
Without mold, stench nats, or ants.
Nothing to complain about rave or rant.
To be able to have a friend over.
To have a clean bath tub for my body to get washed.
To be in charge & be my own boss.
Head if the house with my own address.

A moment to savor that froze.
No foul stench up my nose.

In the salty sea air,
Waves are crashing loudly over there.
Only less than 30 minutes in the sun.
So we don't get sunburned.
A sad lesson we already learned.
To avoid premature aging & heat stroke.
Dehydration is not a joke.
The beach is beautiful for a moment.
But don't be there all day.
Or you will age more older in a day.
I try to preserve my youth.
A photograph will last.
It can capture the past.
A daily view from a window.
Is a wealth I wouldn't know.
Whining seagulls glide across the surface of the water.
Getting her feet wet at the shoreline is my daughter.
Going down the boardwalk on her scooter.
At ten years old could she be any cuter.
It has been over twenty years for a marriage I still wait.
At thirty seven I'd it too late.
I have never even been on a real date.
To be a couple I guess is not my destiny or fate.
To forever remain single is definately a curse.
The wind whispers it could be worse.

His soft, warm lips.....
With his hands on my hips.
Holding hands & making plans.
A fantasy of a desire unsatisfied.
Words untold with thoughts that lied.
A secure embrace...
A man with an unseen face.
A touch you can't erase.
Mysterious insecurity...
Shameless fear & uncertainty.

Our eyes meet.
Our intentions are not discreet.
We **** ice cubes in the summer heat.
Breakfast toast on rye & not wheat.
I fantasize he'll propose at my feet.
To live in a home never messy & always neat.
I write with my pen & take a seat.

Misunderstandings in the candlelight.
A conversation without a fight.
Honest & truth in your love at night.
He kissed my lips in the moonlight.
Reality is not what it seems the day is bright.
I awaken from my dream in the morning light.