I thought we were close
I thought we were good friends, dare I say more
I thought you liked spending time with me, the way I do with you
I thought maybe, just maybe, I had a chance
I thought we could be something
I thought one day when we're alone, it'd happen
I thought everything would be so right
I thought you were my friend

And there's the problem
I thought

I can't stop thinking about it
It's not what you said to me
More that you said it to me
You made me feel
Like I could do it
Like you believed in me
Like someone cared
You listened
And you understood

You looked me in the eyes when I told you
Even when my brain told me to look away
Your eyes told me more than what your mouth did
That being unconfident is the worst thing to be
That I should never change myself for others
No one has ever said that to me

Thank you

'let's find love to live for'

that's what you said.
and i thought you meant me
why was i how could i so stupid
didn't you know?

'you were what i lived for'

it was real.
i know it was
you felt it, and i did too
at the same time it wasn't

so why does it hurt so much
we never spoke about it
but other people did
and we knew it

was i not good enough
don't tell me it's about a number
that never stopped you before
so why her and not me

and what hurts even more
is i have to pretend to be happy for you
i have to convince myself
'if you love him, let him go'

and i want to, i really do
but there was a time when
i wanted you so bad
and i still do

why you gotta hurt me this way?

honesty. we throw it around like it's nothing
"honestly right..."
"to be honest..."
but do we really know what it's about

no one really knows what others think
of them
about them
everyone just says what the other wants to hear

we hide behind smiles and masks
of love and happiness
of sadness and fear
but there's so much more to that isn't there

your friend who smiles at you
what do they really think?
"they're weird, but i pity them"
"they're such a nice person"

that person who hates you
what do they really think?
"i wish i were like them"
"who do they think they are?"

we've lost the true meaning
of honesty, buried under
thousands of layers
of truth, of thought, of heart

plot twist:
they like you back
they do enjoy texting you
your mind is wrong