i always thought drowning
had to do with bodies of water
water filling your lungs
until you can't breathe

i would've never thought drowning
meant being so empty
that nothing thrives there
and you feel dead inside

i did, and i don't know why

was it because i held on a hope?
a hope that maybe it would be mutual
that even if that day it wasn't
that one day it would be?

was it because it reminded me of you?
to always remember that there's someone
someone out there looking out for me
who actually cared about me?

or was it because i still love you?
even though i said it over
and over and over and over
it's all in the past?

maybe i'm lying to myself
maybe i'm lying to you

this wasn't supposed to happen
i'm not supposed to feel this way
what have you done to me?

but something that everyone says
it's gotten to me and now
i can't get it out of me

now when i see you or hear about you
i can't help but think about you and her
and my heart cracks a little

I can't believe
I actually thought that

You liked talking to me
You liked having me around
You liked me being your friend

I fell for it
I fell for your tricks
I fell for your charm
I fell for you

And I'm an idiot.

im sorry, i dont usually do this
especially not for friends
so it's a little hard, but
i miss you

it's only been a day but i do

i miss the way
  your eyes sparkle in the morning sun
  your eyes meet mine when we talk

i miss the way
  you smell, that's so uniquely you
  your tongue curls when you laugh in your special way

i miss the way
  your hand brushes mine when we walk, and it's okay
  you tease me, joke with me, banter with me

i treasure you, i value you,
you're my friend and i miss you