I could get lost in the curve of your neck
in every freckle and every line
all sensation eclipsed by the traces
of soft fingers exploring my spine,
let me dream of your voice under moonlight
and all the secrets it tries to confine
you leave starlight falling behind you
my words unable to capture the shine,
you are cigarettes and soft music and screenplays
the blooming flower on the vine
I'm enthralled by your smile and its comfort
and a slow heartbeat mimicking mine
but namely your eyes and their ocean,
i would willing drown every time

Stars,
those glittering demons
mocking me with their distance
How can they be so far?
Allowed to look upon this world
without having to walk its tortured streets
They are eating me up with their brightness
Dim! Dull and fade you foul reminders
that I am trapped here on a dying planet
whilst you can burn out brilliantly
And I, in life as well as death
Decay.

I wanted to kiss the moon
To be under his silver embrace
But the starts blocked my way
They blazed furiously at my love
"He isn't yours"
"He isn't yours"
"He isn't yours"

my lips were stinging with words unspoken
my eyes burning with tears unshed
all i loved, i loved in silence
but i loved fiercely, without end
my lungs collapsed with shallow breathing
my heart sputtered without a sound
all i saw was my one love leaving
and then the world was burning down
within the flames i saw him crying
he muttered words i could not hear
i thought i saw 'i loved you darling'
past tense, past love, past care
my blood stopped flowing inside me
i felt nothing but the heat
and then ice and cold to drown in
thus declared the death of me

I am not a person
I am masterpiece gone awry
Made up of shipwrecks
With salt water leaking through,
Spilling onto the picked-clean bones
Of my beached whale ribcage
I am hollow hollow hollow
Like the knots of a tree
I curl into myself
Filling in the cracks of my carcass
With that too-sweet, too-sticky honey
I rot all through the winter
And then I rot some more

I have been shrinking into myself
A dimming shadow of a girl
There is refuge in the hidden places
Of this too-large, too-tender heart
The spark of my soul is sky blue
Or was, once, before the rains came
And for shelter it lies in the hollow
Of my throat, eclipsed by sound
And thus, hidden
In the night, the non-light
This softness and shadow is boundless
I can encompass all space with safety
Fear not the sun and it's consumption
Of my beating, bloodied heart

My sadness is a tree that bears no fruit
And yet still I water every day
The roots greedily lapping at the downpour
Growing ever stronger
And my tree ever larger
I fall in the shadow of the colossus
Eyes skyward waiting for something,
anything
To come from the gnarled branches
Of a tree that whispers sorrow

she treads a route
straight out of my life
and without a backward glance
or last goodbye
she is gone.
like the wind, and the tide
and stars that died.
And as she leaves
the roses beneath her feet
wither and wilt
and the land mourns her exit,
grieving her loss
and I as well
part from my love.

I take all the wolf from my smile,
spin her back into sheep
let flowers grow from the cotton of her body
and revel in the softness of snarl
I have been killing chickens in my sleep,
sneaking out and slashing tyres
there is a breadcrumb trail of bones
leading to my closet, and i won't open it
i'm not brave enough for the mirror my monsters are,
i can still taste the marrow on my tongue
but i promise i've been brushing my teeth
drinking rose water and smiling
trying to sand off all my edges
forget the taste of anger and violence
and its hard when i've got foxgloves for kisses
all poison to taste, but they're pretty,
i tried stepping softly and felt the slip-shape
of prey back to predator, relearnt the padfoot
felt the great black dog inside me stir
had to rummage under the bed for the shotgun
put my cheek to it until she stopped her howling
i cried down the barrel for hours,
tied lace around my wrists and become jailor to my heart
**** her with kindness, but i couldn't, not quite,
all soft touch and lilted tongue i lull her back
to those creaking bars of my ribcage
peg her to my spine and place the ****** carcass
of the last boy we bit at beside her
grow sunflowers in my room and black out the curtains
we can stay here until she learns peace
learns to cry over his body like i did,
forgets blood and hate and their taste
we will learn tenderness in a dark room
howl at an empty sky until the stars take pity on us,
two-step to earth and bring the light back
open the closet, spin skeletons back to cloth,
the slate-grey dust of us has grown flowers,
rage trapped in pink-ribbon dreamcatcher wishes
her lips don't lift from her teeth anymore
and i can sleep with door unlocked
i can sleep with the closet open

I look at the yellow sphere above
through clear blue waves
he is golden and
smiling at me
the fish circle me
I am the sun
In this moment.
The ocean dances around me

I feel like God

I have been spending a lot of time with a boy who is molten
Liquid *** dripping from every word
Eyes ablaze as he tells me I'm unique in a way he's never known before
But I am craving eyes that burn with a different heat
One of hearthfires and Home
From a boy with shyness on his tongue
And laughter that curls around every syllable,
But he doesn't want me
And so I settle for this searing passion
This boy who is nothing like you
Aside from that he ignites some small part of me
And I hate that I need his heat in lieu of ours
But I have always hated the cold

The dread
The exhaustion
The crippling fatigue
It surrounds me like shadow
Clinging and crawling
Inside my skin
Making me hollow
The further
The faster
The more frantically I run
The closer this terror becomes
And now
I stand at the crossroads
Of my nightmares
And I ask
Do you smell the fear?
*Or does the fear smell you?