As I sit here hopelessly
I hope
You will find me
Past the river
By the sea
Come meet me here
We'll sit and dream

We used to look up at the sky
And watch the clouds
Drift on by
The sun would set and we'd see the moon
I knew you'd leave me soon

I see the mountain shout for your love
You're the one I'm thinking of

The moment went by so fast
I wish we had made them last
I just feel so far away
I only wanted you to stay

We sat around counting the stars
Just like them
We flew so far
As I sit here hopelessly
I hope you will find me

*I see the mountain shout for your love
You're the one I'm thinking of

Underwater they quickly become fish,
she likes it that way, he concedes her every wish,
"An eel, aren't you?" raunchily she pretends astonishment,
big fish with an avid mouth she is, he knows so well.

i still have
feelings for you
i'm sorry that
i left you
but i had
no choice

i couldn't tolerate
with your behaviour
anymore sigh
you are so selfish
you only think
about yourself

do you know that
i started to self harm
and i cry every night
because of you

you leave me with
no choice but
to leave you

once again
i'm sorry
and i still
love you

I long
                    like
something plush weeping
         into a pillowed hug

of empty oxygen

though I try the Brave Game,
                                         (and usually win)
               flakes of me run
           off my arms and face
and scrounge around the corners of the room
          
                                                           looking for your mellow sting.

supposedly,
“heartache”
is figurative.
                        But I definitely feel
a              s t r e t c h i n g
mush
right where
the Doctors say my heart
                       should probably be

a slight tremor
(      echoes      )
      through every joint
of my toy frame,
              like a thousand elfin voices talking
                      about your favorite foods,
                      and the color of your hugs.

    the tightening
muscles of my throat
        send their regards to your
amicable eyes

              2.5 is a smallish bird
when one observes
             the blue expanse of my ocean life
but it pecks my most tender tissues
                     when I sit [flat] inside Today.

I miss
      like
someone resized my skin

                                            incompetently.

though I am grateful
for your delicate absence
                      (the elusive Good deserves you most)

I feel as if
the petty bird’s wing tensions
        won’t be satisfied
with the look of my dappled shoulders
till you stroke them densely
with your matter-of-fact fingers.

Not
Alone
Here

Everyone has something to complain about. Everyone has a reason to flip out or cry. Everyone needs a shoulder once in a while. Some people hide. I want to be the one people go to, it is my way of saying "please", "thank you", or "sorry" to those who have hurt me (I want so badly to rip your head off, so i will **** you with kindness and give you a place to whine and cry), have done something for me, or those who I have hurt in some form or another.

I believed it when they told me you would heal my pain, my suffering, and my problems.
Every morning and all day long I let you flow through my veins.
Never loving anyone else, not even myself.

I thought you were my savior for making me feel good.
As long as you were with me, nothing could hurt me.

Until I woke one day and you were not there.
My body trembled for you,
my stomach churned.
Oh, how I needed you!

No way to go get you,
No way could I walk.
I believed you when you said you wouldn't hurt me.
Yet, you are gone and oh, how I hurt.

Ten years of my life, two kids that you made me loose,
And two more I gave up just for you.
My house, my truck....
All just so I could be stuck on you.

Nowhere to sleep,
Nothing to eat.
All my family has turned their backs on me,
all because I choose to take that journey.

Now I'm laying here in this hospital bed,
doctors telling me I was almost dead.
Yet, when I leave this hospital room,
I just run back to you.

Oh, how I loved you.
From 16 years old until 26 I spent all my time with you.
Now, I'm listening to the voice in my heart,
the voice I hear in my soul.
I just don't know....
Am I going insane?

No, I hear the deep thoughts in my mind.
It is your Lord telling you it's time.

Where do I go?
What do I do?
I asked you.
Wait and I'll show you.

To my surprise,
There was my friend walking in
when I was about to do my last dime.

My Lord tells me once more,
It's time, pour your heart out.
And watch he will show you where to go.

To this place my friend asks me to go,
A church! I would've never known.
Beautiful lady, beautiful heart....
Gives me the chance to open my heart.

Change my ways is what I'm told.....
Instead of meeting with what I thought was my love.....
I'm meeting with people who done what I've done.

5 years have gone by,
and you are not even on my mind.
With my Savior, years have gone by.....
Living the life that was meant for me.

Yet, I find myself asking....
What is my purpose in life?

I hear the Lord tell me yet once more,
I had a plan for you but you choose your own.
Now I see why I have given you the choice,
Because now you will help the people who made their addiction their life.

Without you, My Lord....
Without you, My Friends......
Without you, My Pastor......
But most importantly......
Without you, my family.......

Life would have never been changed......

its all a lie. let me tell you that. i dont love him like that. i love him as a friend. just remember.




and i never thought he would love
me
or anyone
but as he leaned in to kiss my lips
i felt the slightest tingle
he held my hands and the words
'i love you so much'
fell from his lips
we kiss again
and he holds me
before we bid each other goodbye
as i wait for the next day to come
i am shattered by the loneliness that has over come me
'i need his touch'
i whisper to myself
as the days go on
i see him as much as i can
we fall more in love each day
closer and closer
and being loved like this
felt amazing
but have being hurt before
i fear it as well
his perfection over took that fear
as he told me the same
he loved me and didn't seek for my flaws
and my heart beat purely for him
he made me feel on top of the world
and although he could not cure
the depression that tore me apart
he did not add to the pain
and as we move on in life
he would hold my hands
and help me push my way
he stays by my side
as i never leave him
'forever'
he says
and i answer with a confused look
'that's how long i want to be with you'
and as our love grows into more
then just kisses and words
is stays pure
forever

I miss you tonight

the same way I did last night

Your voice

Your laugh

The jokes we tell

I just miss you

and I can't help but wonder... Do you miss me too?

I had a long day

And I don't even know if yours was ok

I don't know why you haven't called me at work

I go out of my way to be with you

and sometimes it feels I don't get the same in return

I'm kind of upset right now

I know I shouldn't be

I was just hoping you would come stay the night with me

I didn't want to get to this point

The point of no return

But obviously I have so now I don't want to get burned

Little things hurt me

And I'm sure you don't understand

Just like I don't get what it's like to be a man

I try to see things from your point of view

Why don't you do the same for me too?

I don't like to be disappointed with the things that you do

I don't like being down and confused

I just want to talk, I want to talk to you

But sometimes I don't know how

So I lock it all up and don't make a sound

I've tried to be numb

and not feel a thing

I try to ignore all the little things that sting

Sometimes I guess my emotions just take over

I don't try to rag on you

Or make you feel bad

I just don't always know how to make you understand

I don't know how to be ok with certain things

I just want you here not in my dreams

Maybe I'm selfish and don't want to share

I don't want to lose you

But scared to death I will

I don't really know what I'm trying to say

I probably won't even send this

So it don't matter anyway....

Copyright © 2013 by Ashley Rodden