What a stupid year,
Oh dear, what a stupid year,
Nothing properly works, only few things are fair,
I'm longing to wake up in some other year.

I barely wear my own skin
And you wear me out
Like washed out jeans
And the reputation
You gave yourself.

You see, I used to linger
In the void,
Without an etiquette
And I was twenty-four people
In a single day.

When you say we are here
For me and not for you,
I can't help but crash
And shut down
Like an old computer
And when you turn me back on

I am reset, but still broken.


-- Eleanor

It's ok to be scared.
and it's ok to be mortified humiliated and
is there a word for that?
Rub your eyes.
cry and be angry and

Be.

I make empty promises
I wish you'd stop this
I wish you'd notice

we fall behind each other

I had lots of dreams
turn into nightmares

I'm good
I'm really good
sometimes

I'm very bad
so bad
all the time

promises
keep them

I can hear the winter sadness

to be cold and alone
frozen and sad

all these dead promises
fading into the sky

A noiseless patient spider,
I marked where on a promontory it stood isolated,
Marked how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launched forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.

And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be formed, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somwhere, O my soul.

I'm sitting in this kitchen
decidedly not at
the dining room table
serving as my desk
it's a mess
a reflect hitting

accuse me
an' this
sorry these
sidelinings soaring
all out
absorb this
inta ink an' drink

an' we're here
a now wanting out
where where
I'm confused
at this end as that
striking darkness