I'm in love and I am scared.
A child lost in the forest of his feelings, hearing the muffled cries of past love.
A child with no flashlight trudging along the shard filled path desperately trying to not fall on the past.
I'm in love and I am scared.

He carries remnants of a broken child.
Cradles the pieces as he tries
To silence the echoing cries.
He provides love with strong tight hugs
But the pressure isn't enough.
He can't continue on nurturing himself.

I feel different.
More in-tuned to emotions
yet more in-tuned to reason.
I just can't be one without the other.

And do you love him?
My heart gnaws on my conscience.
Does the Friendzone count?

And it's behind these notes
I hide and let myself sing.
Tomorrow will be better.

Truth is...
I can hear a part of my heart
Protesting with every heartbeat.
It screams
"Don't date, Just wait"
But My mind tells me
"It's done too late"
While I just stand there
like
Truth is...
I still want you...

T ired of feeling like this
      because you are so far away, stuck in your head with what others would think
       not thinking of anything but that
R eally? That's the question I ask, why? I wasn't good enough, if you break his heart or he yours you'll go  
     with me and be mine.
Y esterday I might have waited. Yesterday I might have just dreamed but now I got someone
     I don't know what will happen, but I am going to TRY.

Tonight was busy
Got more to check off the list
But can't check him off.

Talk to you later I will say
Not Goodbye nor Farewell
Because in doing so I will be admitting that you are leaving

I will not hug you, with wet eyes and a mind wishing you'll stay
I will fight the urge of running towards you as you walk away
because I will lie to myself and tell
That I will TTYL

I will shake your hand with a firm grasp and pat you on the back
I will let your hand slip away and my voice will not crack
When I speak those words with a heavy heart,
Knowing I might not ever see you again,
TTYL

Tu eres mi amor, you are my love
and tu tienes mi corazón para siempre

Nothing can compare to the love I have for you
Not the sun or the Luna
Nor las  estrellas
you are the goddess(more of a god) of fortune and good luck, Fortuna

The love for you has been building up
Like a volcano and it wants to explode
its fuegos artificiales going up in the sky

Tu eres mi amor
and you have my heart forever

You are my love

I thought I was done
but love aint done with my yet
when is it ending?

Two Minutes*
That's all I need to hold on to you
To inhale the familiar scent of yours
To rest my head upon your chest  

Two Minutes
That's all I need to tell you that you are the only one that matters
To kiss your cheek and hold you tighter
To hold you and feel safe

Two Minutes
That's all I need to tell you I will always care
To kiss those lips with passion
To cherish the feelings I will have

All I need is Two Minutes

Draw me a picture
with my heart in two pieces
not with the shattered line drawn in the middle
but with them on opposite sides
Because one side is still needing to catch up.

My weekend was horrible
leaving me emotionally numb
But on the bus I heard you bickering with another guy
"I am going to do it today."
"You should do it now."
Back and forth Y'all did

Then when we were inside
You asked for me to go outside
"I like two people, One is this girl, do you know the other one."
I knew right then
My mood changed
my cheeks warmed
"I do but I rather hear it from you." I said
I was in heaven
You took sometime and then you said
"Well it's you, I like you too."
Even though I knew
My day changed in two seconds flat

Even though you like her also
And I don't like being a a second choice
I will take this and make the most of it
because I have been waiting
For this moment
To make me feel happy in two seconds flat

At times winter visits early,
Spitting fragments of yesterday’s snow,
To strike an already scarred face.

Yet, at other times the curve of its finger
Interlocks with the conscience’s
As it blabbers on like an infant.

But then his back severed the cord as it closed the door to our conversation.
What wanted to be said got hit in the face and retreated into my throat.
and
I choked on every syllable.
I too turned not desiring to be cradled by the arms of silence.
I opened the door leading to the case of stairs.
Every step mimicked his words enraging my feet
and
They attempted to mute but they grew weary in defeat.
Closing my eyes I spun facing his general direction.

It was as if an audience drew in breath,
Afraid their breathing would interrupt the ****** of this scene.

White noise complained obnoxiously, fluttering nigh the sides of my ear
And
An inferno asphyxiated brashly the cells my heart neared.


“You were-are worth it”


But those words muffled by the cradling arms of silence
Were carried by the white noise
Before
Ashed by the inferno.

You look to the sky with the notion (An irrational notion) the moon will shed some light where the sun would not.
The neighbors are there speaking in whispers though their distance from you protects their ill words.
But there is no moon.
It has deserted you.
Why are you surprised?

You can do so many things to hide,
Warp yourself in clothes that show A different view,
Hang with people who don't even know
But in the end
As you lie in your bed,
The you that you try so hard to conceal is there
Patiently waiting for you to shake it's hand and say you are done with hiding

And then with the moon
high above me, watching me
I lavished in pain.

All of the secrets
drained into puddles thickly
Exhausted I slept.

I read the words of your eyes as I turned you over.
They said, "It's a wonder that the world doesn't explode when two people meet for the first time."

And it was time for our goodbyes
but as we embraced for the last time
I looked to the sky
"I don't want to let go"

A thousand sun's wavered in the wind
hanging on the tips of a tree's arm.

And I cried
Let everything go
and cried.

I have no idea whether I should stay put and endure whatever may come my way
Or seek refuge.
I have no idea if I should give in and let myself fade to nothing or if I should fight and struggle not to be led to the background
I don't know what to do.

I look in the mirror
*why hasn't it cracked yet

The world is a painting.
We are merely blots of ink.

And there was a time when everything made sense
But now that time is gone.
What was ordered in such a neat fashion
is now in such a jumble of a mess.

The robins pick at the ground with grass beneath their feet
while worms try to get away so they wouldn't be eaten.
The wind plays with the leaves above
As the sun gives it's warmth and love.

Take some time and see that I’m the one
Take some time and see that I love you
Don’t ever forget that I was the first
To break the walls , to get through


Lend closer and feel the warmth inside
Lead closer and feel my heart beat
But don’t forget, oh lord don’t forget
I was the first you did meet

Take my hand and fly away
Take my hand together we’ll stay
Take my hand so we can be alone

Give me the love and the time
So I can say that you are mine
Show me all that I have shown

It's funny how I try to move on
Try to take leaps but no matter how high Iget
I always fall back to you

...Night is not the absence of the sun it's the introduction to a different state of light...

You know growing at one point in life we loved our childhood but now my life is even better now that i have you.
you make it so much better girl i just wanna make you happy
and now im free, free falling yeah free fallin you have me feeling like im on cloud 9
let be there for you girl cause i wanna be your forever

my life changed dramaticly when you told me we were through it made me feel like i didnt even wanna live anymore so i told myself i gotta change
so i searched high n low for a girl like you but there was no hope because nobody could ever replace you

so i wrote a note telling you that i wanted you back and if you came back then i would change i took it and hung it up three days later you walked in my house found my body laying on the floor you looked up and saw the note i wrote you just started crying and o how i wish i could wake up but i was already gone

And then I brushed the dust off my knees.
The dust protested surrounding me but then they were arrested and taken by the wind.
I looked to the sky with a determine gaze
and the sky revealed the sun.
It was going to be okay
no matter how many times I can to brush the dust off my knees.

Have you heard about the man
Who was hit by a van
He was carry pans
When BAM!
He got hit by a van.
Did you hear about that man?

With everything seeming so boring
You were the only thing with color.
Everything was always black and white but
When you came around, everything you touched seem to light up with pink, blue, yellow
You were the color white that gets mixed in with everything to make it be brighter

Everything just disappears.
The walls are not there.
the shower heads are not there.
the people are not there.
Just us.

But there is one thing that does stay.
Its him.
His eyes.
His scent.
His face.
His name.

You see while I fill the void inside me
I think of him.
While I indulged on a feast that satisfied my lust
I think of him.
His name.
His face.
His scent.
His eyes.

I stopped not because the food wasn't good
But because him in my mind was becoming to great.
making me realize that I wasn't eating with him but with another.

Winter is a pleasantry compared to this blanket upon me.
Despite its harsh remarks against the bulk of humanity,
I'd rather experience that than this constricting blanket.
Winter brings forth frost from its diaphragm and unto earth
But with this blanket, of comfortable coverage there is a dearth.
Must I wait till morning to dispose properly this blanket?

I never had the need to look o'er my shoulder
But Now my heart is growing colder

Never had the need to take some thought
But Now my feelings are getting caught

I never knew that you could be this way
But I guess that's what I get for playing this game

How Could I be so blind?
Time after time, Lie after Lie

I need to step away
To go away and move on
I need to quit this play
Forget this game and move on

I still have these feelings there's no denying that
They always knock always knock
But to act upon would be a selfish act
So I must stay firm and be a rock

I need to take a step back
and go away and never return
I need to stop being whack
and not be this way and not crash or burn.

Maybe I became distant for the simple reason I no longer can hold a conversation
can no longer talk as if everything is okay
can no longer be there
when at home i am a nobody

or maybe its just me?

When there's too much to say I write it all down
but
When there's too much to write I close my eyes
and sleep

Yes I am jealous.
The fire seeps out my eyes and into your Lover.
I dont hate her.
Just hate that she is with you.
Funny that i am in this perdiceriment again.
Cupid is running a cruel game.
The Irony.
yes i am jealous.
I like you.

With a heavy fist
Death came rapping on your door.
Calling out your name.
Death begged for a kiss
Death wanted a little more
Death, for you it came.
It couldn't resist

Take A mintue to hear what is being said
I never chose to have feelings for men
Take a moment for it to register
That I could have married and had children with her
but I didn't
I decided to be honest and speak up
But I was shot down

Like a piegon shot from the sky
As it only wanted to fly

You tell me that you don't care when I am older
but right now I am a child i don't know any better
but I do
I know what I am and chose this route so later in life
I Wouldn't suffer as much

Like eating junk food everyday for lunch
and grwoing up to find out I have stomcah Problems because of my lunch

I chose this path, the path of coming out,  knowing the dangers
Knowing what Challenges I would have to face
And this path I am taking will make me stronger

Sometimes when one is able to let the words take up the space around them
It isn't enough for there is no more room for the words left unsaid.

Some might wonder what's the point of writing poetry.
I ask them this
What's the point of stumbling, crumbling, tumbling through life
Without writing something down?

The time for forgiveness is gone
Nothing will be forgiven
He knows he is not the only one
But he chose not to stay, he's leaving

Leaving it all in the past and will not look behind him
Causes this is now that was then
His eyes will focus towards the light at the end
Because back down that way there is a friend
Who will love him as he is


And when the other wants him again
he will say no, because he can't go back to then
He can't relive the pain and sorrow
And the not wanting to see tomorrow

No, he will deny them Like they did
He will ignore like they did
He will just keep going

When I was born I was a blank canvas
You outlined with words carefully placed with a soothing voice.
You drew out what you wanted with rights and wrongs you forced onto me.
You colored me in once you felt satisfied.
I don't want to be your canvas anymore.

And it seems I was biting off more than I could chew.
When I told you I still Liked you.
I was tangled with my wishes and hopes
that I lost sight of reality.
It was only until I stopped for a moment
and looked back
did I realize
I should have
kissed
you
.

I smear the tears on the page
and they make words.
Confessions.
Hopes.
Dreams