The world is a painting.
We are merely blots of ink.

And there was a time when everything made sense
But now that time is gone.
What was ordered in such a neat fashion
is now in such a jumble of a mess.

And I have kept the drawn rose
in a book i barely open.
But today marks a year since its creation
so i opened the book and light revealed the drawn rose.
with a swift gesture i closed the book.
A year it has been but why does it still hurt?

Some say the United States is comming to its end.
With all the legal issues becoimg the norm
Mary Jane
Same-*** marriage
Is it coming to an end?

Take some time and see that I’m the one
Take some time and see that I love you
Don’t ever forget that I was the first
To break the walls , to get through


Lend closer and feel the warmth inside
Lead closer and feel my heart beat
But don’t forget, oh lord don’t forget
I was the first you did meet

Take my hand and fly away
Take my hand together we’ll stay
Take my hand so we can be alone

Give me the love and the time
So I can say that you are mine
Show me all that I have shown

It's funny how I try to move on
Try to take leaps but no matter how high Iget
I always fall back to you

I can't help but to feel
I accidentally changed you
For the better
Or worse
remains yet to be seen?

...Night is not the absence of the sun it's the introduction to a different state of light...

You know growing at one point in life we loved our childhood but now my life is even better now that i have you.
you make it so much better girl i just wanna make you happy
and now im free, free falling yeah free fallin you have me feeling like im on cloud 9
let be there for you girl cause i wanna be your forever

my life changed dramaticly when you told me we were through it made me feel like i didnt even wanna live anymore so i told myself i gotta change
so i searched high n low for a girl like you but there was no hope because nobody could ever replace you

so i wrote a note telling you that i wanted you back and if you came back then i would change i took it and hung it up three days later you walked in my house found my body laying on the floor you looked up and saw the note i wrote you just started crying and o how i wish i could wake up but i was already gone

Take A mintue to hear what is being said
I never chose to have feelings for men
Take a moment for it to register
That I could have married and had children with her
but I didn't
I decided to be honest and speak up
But I was shot down

Like a piegon shot from the sky
As it only wanted to fly

You tell me that you don't care when I am older
but right now I am a child i don't know any better
but I do
I know what I am and chose this route so later in life
I Wouldn't suffer as much

Like eating junk food everyday for lunch
and grwoing up to find out I have stomcah Problems because of my lunch

I chose this path, the path of coming out,  knowing the dangers
Knowing what Challenges I would have to face
And this path I am taking will make me stronger

And we can not stop coming in like a wrecking ball
So clear all the tables from your wide mess hall.
we bout to damage up, We bout to trash it up
We bout to rip all of your paper love.

It's time to begin but with the beast inside
We tend to stop and think, then we let it fly
And no matter if you cry
All our "pretty faces"at some point have to die.

These Stereotypes
are the barriers I face
Time To break em all

They tell me you're no good
That much is understood.
But they don't know you like I do
No they don't know you like I do.


Your mistakes cover your path
They prevent them to see
That if they were rooted and thrown aside
A good guy you could be.

I guess I am tangled in your hair again.
Anchoring my boat in your eyes.
but now this time
I wonder what is going to happen?

If I rest my head on my pillow
Close my eyes and sleep
Will you be in my dreams?

I don't want to be alone with myself
While your arms are around someone else
I can't handle your name as it falls of my lips
It's the knife that pierces my heart
Slowly the A, the tip,
Pushes its way through the muscle tissue
To the point the pain is too much and my tears swallow my screams

I can't manage being on my own
While I sit wishing you called my phone
I can't stand to see the color purple flash in front of my eyes
It's a light the blinds me
A color that brings my heart to cry
making me turn around with my back to it
I can no longer stand the sight of anything that makes me remember you

Take me out to places that I will never see again
Fake a smile here and there while you see other men
Make me chase for your love while you I defend
Wake me up from this dream when my heart can't amend
Break me from fantasy cause it would've never been.

The pavement absorbs the energy my foot gives As I run
The air is displaced and it chills my skin
Who knew I would be the only one
But I should have known Time and time Again


You told me that this was the only we could be together
Me running away from you
But there was never any love to occur
Stuck with my love wanting to get through

Rain fell from the sky
Drains into my soul
I regret something
That I never told

The orange ambushed the tip of my tongue
my tongue felt the keen sting of acidity.

I let my guard down
And I let you in
But you didn't catch me
I'm still fallin
In and out of love

With every touch
I exploded with Bliss
But With every touch
I longed for your kiss
But you never seemed to give it up

You had me in your grasp
With only enough room to breathe
Twisting and turning
I wanted to be free
From you I had enough

You left me in the darkness
All alone to fend for myself
You let me keep thinking
But you loved someone else

Was it all just a big game?
I the fool as you played charades?
Cause I can’t handle
This big scandal
Why oh why must I feel this way?

I am tired of playing these games
I am tired of feeling the pain
Do you want me?
Do you want to hold me?
Do you need me?
Cause I am slipping
Away

I had a dream.
In this dream ,that my mind conjured up for my enjoyment while my body rested, you were there.
I was there and some random lady who was a TV personality was also there.
We were all talking and having fun.
You smiled as she made a joke and my eyes lingered at your lips.
I wanted to kiss you but knowing how you didn't know yourself I contained myself to the spot I was standing in. and Plus I didn't want to do it in front of her cause she gave me the creeps.

You reached into your pockets and there was 30 dollars. You thought you placed them back in but I saw them falling. Twirling like Maple leaves onto the damp floor.
I picked it up and and called your name but you already went.
I spent my time throughout the whole dream trying to find you.
Jogging down stairs I didn't even know Ours school had.
Asking people if they have seen you
I searched and searched but to no avail.

I was left with nothing more than 30 dollars and a sadness that began to sweep it's self over me.
Then the cops came and I was running from them for no reason
then I woke up.

If it were only me I would stand in the line of fire
feel my body turned gymnast contort as the bullets riddle
kiss the ground with prideful lips, rise, and implore for more.

but life is a cruel dictator and commends my brethren to torture along side of me.

Circle Me with red
mark me diagonally with death
Take me heart and use it for your sacrifice
Just know I am already dead

I'm tired of feeling like I've been misused
Thrown 'cross the surface of "I Love you"
Only to skip ahead into the thickets and overgrown weeds.

What is it that we are doing?
The TV murmurs in the background.
Breaths are shallow.
Nothing makes sense anymore.

I hold your hand but did you know we don't really touch
It's just the force of my hand and yours deflecting.

As I rest this head of mine
I pray that my arms become
Olive branches.
I pray that when extended
they are taken.
And that this world ceases strife.

I heard the devil today.
he nagged of my noncompliance
But I can't help it that I follow no one

And then the tree tried to take time in letting the leaf loose
but then came a humbled hungry homely moose.

A flower caught in the wind's bent arms I saw today
I began disputing it's given name.
A Calla Lilly, A rose, a daisy
Perhaps it's -I'm just crazy .
It's a flower with beauty and it offers it in display
I saw a flower today
I saw a flower today.

You were right
When you kissed my arm
My blood pressure shot up
leaving me behind to try
and avoid your eyes.

The floor was spotless
The walls were spotless
but his heart was stained

No amount of cleaning
scrubbing
drying
anything
Will get rid of it

Considering you a fallacy is a hollowness in my chest
a bent-out percussion instrument, it's quality won't be the best.

The tree was a seed before it became the thing with leaves
The tree was strong before it thirst and the leaves fell

I feel the dawn approaching
Ruffling through my hair
trying to play the good guy
but the sun was never there.

I hear the grumbling wind
collecting whispers as it spins
mumbling, stumbling every now and then.

Death seems like the only option
Death seems comforting,
Not something to fear but something to welcome
But I can not die

I can not die because I am not worthy of death
I am not worthy to be hugged with darkness and silence
Death doesn't want me nor does life
I am not worthy to breathe
To eat the fruit bared by earth
I am not worthy to live Nor I am worthy to die

I have Been
     UP
           ALL
Night

Just thinking of you
Just dreaming of you

Up
    All

    N
       i
        g
           h
              t

Just wanting you next

To
Me

The hills, a chain of ups and downs, touch the sky
While the clouds go about their business.
The water, without taste, runs out and into the jugs
while the birds talk amongest themselves.
I watch the hills once more and have that memory of water without taste in my mind.
While the sun goes down just a tad bit.

The moon wants solitude tonight.

It tugs the thick vapor layered veil over it's face.
But its tears seep, dampening the hills, trees, and earth.

Collectively, the tears coat the ruins of an ancient home.
Bent from it's foundation it's straining as a contortionist
Battered by neglection, it's body breaths with fluttering doors
but its soul is dead.

Making a living they sell knick knacks
While others sell fruit for snacks.
They come to you wanting the chance
to make you ,once you leave, money lack.

The failures of the world echo
They fill the skies with uncertainty and fill the air with doubt
But some chose to ignore it
They chose to block out those noises and listen for the sweet Chime of Victory
They let those sounds fill  their hearts
They let Victory win and overcome Failure

I hear the voices
My head is exploding
Why don't they leave me

Here, There, There and here
They are not leaving me be
I hear the voices

I can't be like this
They overlap each other
I don't like voices

Everyone is talking about you.
Shall I ?
She Refuses

Waiting is something I haven't grown use to.
I have always gotten what i wanted whether
I needed it at that moment or some time later
I don't like to wait, just twiddling my thumbs
or sighing out loud
Waiting
Waiting is dumb

what is one to do when in waiting?
Twidle thumbs like a child?
Or perhaps watch the cars as they roar on by?
Compose music only you could hear with the sounds of the Street?
Or sit on a bench with pencil and pen?
Observe strangers with their hands on food?
Observe strangers whistling with nothing to do?
Whats one to do when in waiting?

Walking along the aisles, thinking about stuff
All of a sudden I turn the corner and BAM There you are
Looking at you made my stomach churn and made my hands cold
Moments like this you don't prepare for
Anthony I saw you but made sure you didn't see me
Risked myself by talking quietly cause I didn't want you to hear me let alone see me
Times like that you don't prepare for. I know I didn't

I am no longer just a bird who is forced to stay in the nest
I am no longer pink and bare
I have grown all my feathers and my wings have developed
I want to fly

And the light flickers keeping track of time
While I am sitting on my unmade bed.
It's a struggle to keep in mind
That to you all this love is dead.

I hear the whispers coming from the walls
Sending my heart into the gaping abyss.
And maybe I should've prevented the fall
But it's hard to resist your crooked kiss.

And maybe I'm in denial
maybe that's okay
At least once in awhile
you tend to come my way

These nights spent aren't wasted
like your breath when you leave.
False hope was what I tasted
but still you "love me".

This bourbon fits nicely in the palm of my hand
I found a way to make it work
You wouldn't understand.
Stumbling down the hall I'm told
"your a mess"
but what they don't know is
I revealed on the outside all the brokenness.

Never tell someone that you love ‘em
When you aren’t even sure you do
For they might believe then feel dumb
And ask why they believed you

Sure, you can pretend
Sure you can show affection and not even mean a thing
But that is shallow, that is horrid
And when some one wants to mend their heart with their love
They shy and turn away for they don’t want to be hurt again

Take your lies and feed them to yourself
Eat them one by one
Remember this as you love someone else
Though you left your work’s never done

Sure they can find another man
Sure he can show all the affection and mean every little thing
But they will feel broken, feel like every man is a deceiver
They would kick them away like they are kicking sand and run away
For they don’t want to be hurt again