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You are a part
of a whole
You are a part of a part of a whole
You are a function of ancient answers
You are a questioning, questioning soul

You are the breath
of a death
You are the life of a dying breath
You are the function of ancient answers
You are the flower from yesterday's rain

You are a change
in yourself
You are your sep’rating, sep’rating self
You are the message to all of the living
You are the call from the land itself

You are a part
of a whole
You are a part of part of an old
existence that is over
functioning proper and allowed

a rest
for a change
for the rest is being unmade
You are a function of ancient answers
You are living
You are dead
from may 4, 2025
poem from the past a day #64
now, deep into 2025, having not gathered my energy for writing, it's anyone's guess how we're supposed to escape the claws of depression under such a trauma inducing leadership.
so i haven't written much. it slowed down in 2023 for personal reasons- positive reasons. it was cut up to pieces in 2024 for personal reasons- negative reasons. and in 2025, it's just a matter of holding on, art production be ******- self-expression be ******.
for these reasons, this poem isn't much to read, but it's fine. it's enough.
Neither man nor woman

Does it sting? Stinging,
to read that? To think that?
Do you know the kind of life I lead?

To be stuck with

a synonym for mirror,
the dreadful thing.

But
But, even the ocean has a horizon

Let me go,
go over it.

Let me surpass everything.
Because I pass.

Not in the mirror,
but I pass,
in spirit, gently,
and with all the conviction.

All the combustion
All the clouds
of a sun.
The Sun.

Forge me into a solid glass;
a chemicals
I’m begging myself.

Myself,
myself.

I’m this travel bag
of chemicals
not made for the spaces
cars or feet make.

I am this immiscible thing,
sometimes hated.
Oh God, never man nor woman.

Scratches don’t hurt anymore.
No, I don't feel pain at all.

I’m happy.
Maybe.

Maybe, I’m happy.
from march 12 2024
poem from the past a day #63
an underserved, disturbed meditation on the obvious.
I love that you make my drinking feel small because, of course, you used to trade bitcoin,
and propane is your suicide,

and your anger.
I love your anger.

I love the steering wheel twinkling in your black eyes,
and the leaping traffic, and our solemn pessimism.

and your evil,
your self-described evil.
I love your evil,
your smug evil.

You could climb roadside ditches, I bet, if the downfall provided
fruit. I love your snakes, and the cackles of snakes,

and your evil.
You have this modest evil,
feinted coats, and no soul,
nor any like of souls.

I want you to continue
to welp my drunkenness into your narrative,
yes, sublime love carries, lovely, Hypocrite fonts.

I love that you make me your best friend, by tell and not show,
by making me laugh. Through fear,

and your happiness,
most of all I can't breath without
your happiness.
I love your melted joy,

and your anger,
I love your anger;

you're too close to me.
from february 26, 2024
poem from the past a day #62
a much more sober rant run through with a very healthy amount of sarcasm
I look up to god
When I'm drunk

because

He's a view to
Crane my neck to.-

gets in the way

~

Your fate is to die in the earthworm's stomach;

Deploy detail from your life
and digitize a seance for its-self

alone

only one who knows you
is

. . .

Could you even
defy Hershey's grip,
you sodomite?

Playing @
these sorts of extracurricular fights

It's truly
earthworm's who will deliver you right-

ly a quick and sympathetic death.

~

but f٭٭k it. Roach
Away floods my feet,
and factions divide my liver;
i am hardly
flotsam.

I'm adjectives of wreck,
synonyms of much
deprived floods of
smoke. Such that shuts
me away, away, away.
Fate-funs break my spirit-
and you run,
you run!

How dare you rush like sequin
onto any bare skin surface-
you chocolate, running.
I hate you

I hate you all.

Do not develop emotions,
or ****;

and by all means,
despise yourself.

And,

waste

apart from mind.

Be you in an earthworm's behind.

~

F٭٭٭٭٭g a challenging nothing.
I want you to be something,
anything.

Nun me. I would make
many-***** out of your pieces
of cake.
I hate you.

I hate you all.

You. F٭٭٭٭٭g. Lottery. Punks.

The lines in my face are a perfect sum
of the precise faults of
the earthworm's gut.

~

Your neurotic monks-
you've got me
addicted
to a specific death

My fate is to develop in the earthworm's gut.

/

Maybe I'll experiment with blood

Maybe I'll experiment with bloodK٭٭l me quickly

K٭٭l me quickly

Maybe I'll adhere with burns

Maybe I'll steer me under
under
under
ground

Milk me quickly

I can’t be a suicidal sine
serving a princess-and-the-pea type mind

Maybe I’ll try to be a DeviantArt update,
desperate emotion bemusing in keystroke

I’ll experiment with light

I’ll imperialize her fuse

Fill yr unsanitized fins with

Ifs

and maybe I'll experiment with ***

Maybe I'll rip you from your life

Ifs spit from naked myth

K٭٭l me quickly,

you horrible,

you gorgeous

earthworm spit.
from february 22, 2024
poem from the past a day #61
a what a bad past it was.
this is a fully unhinged piece of writing.
this is drunk writing. i was on some worm stuff.
but that's the vibe- that's the point.
i can't explain any of it.
I support you
Wherever you leave to
Tell me goodbye first
from december 11, 2023
poem from the past a day #60
etched under a window
Sunday has no value to me
as a day off
but, if I had Sunday off
I would start going to church
for the company.

I would go to the church with
rainbow lawn chairs lined up
outside. An upside-down cross
big above the door.
Walking distance.

Where there gathers,
I fear,
the same old collection
of fearless adults.
I’m scared of you,
anyway.

I’d like to get away.
Once a week -
of course the job does that
most days -
not on Sunday.

I sent my head into the ground.
If I met before a congregation
they would forgive me
for making a concussion
of my evening.

Sunday has no value to me.
Let it be
a day of work.
But, I would go to church.
Sit in the back.
from november 20, 2023
poem from the past a day #59
every part of this explains itself except for the fact that it speaks to the same person that the previous poem did.
i think it's just a cute and vulnerable thought so i'm glad i made a poem out of these sparse feelings.
6
I’ve given a year of love to
someone who doesn’t love the same way I do

Why does your trauma get to
dissolve my personality?

Why have I felt unfathomably lonely
forever?

Disassociation does a disservice -
as a word - there isn’t anyone
here,

except for your dog.
from october 4, 2023
poem from the past a day #58
in the last quarter of 2023 i moved into an apartment with a friend and this poem marks the exact moment it became a tumultuous and complicated decision of which the repercussions i am still living with.
i dropped titles as a concept, for awhile, at this point. it reflected my complete lack of energy. my energy is still unrecovered.
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