You wanted me out of your life
You broke your promise
You broke my heart

After everything we've been through
you simply tossed it away
With cruel words and actions
You broke me down

You made your choice
you knew what you were doing
You left me there "bleeding"

You hurt me
And I'm still here reeling
in the aftermath destruction

I'm sitting here, Trying
Not to fall in the gaping hole
That you left behind

You left
when I needed my big brother the most

Its too late
to be looking back now.
its too late
for the I'm sorrys and apologies

So to Answer your question
YES
the door back in is really shut

and to answer your other question
NO.....

......I don't think It will ever open back up

For once in my 21 years of life
Yes I know that's not long but still
Anyway Moving on. where was I?
Oh yes there I was

For once in my 21 years of life,
Are you ready for this?
hold On Tight

I DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING!

O-O
yes I know its hard to believe,
The girl who never shuts up
and ALWAYS has something to say
For once doesn't want to speak
doesn't want to open her mouth
and let the words spew

I sit here reading
feeling so anti-social
Praying they don't see me
So I don't have to engage in social exchange

I just want to curl up
grab a book
and read the day away

or better yet sink into
my not so comfy bed
and sleep and sleep
Is it so bad to not want to wake up?

there is nothing exciting going on
So I have nothing to comment about

Nothing hold my attention
Nothing stays of interest.

For once in my 21 years of life
I don't want to Talk.

Where did the old me go?
I want her back.

She smiles
her face stretching into a grin

Do you see it?
Her smile doesnt light up her eyes
like it should

She laughs
its sound bubbling into the air

Do you hear it?
The screams of pain
hidden in between the giggles.

She's Energetic
To hyper for her own good.

Do you notice?
The bags under her eyes
from her endless sleepless nights.

She's happy
Never in a bad mood

Do you realize?
the trails across her cheeks
Where tears of sorrow carved their place
searing themselves into her heart
like a thousand needle ******.

Do you?
Do you even care?

I know your life is spinning
so very much out of control
I know your grip is slipping
and you just want to give up and let go.

So I will step on up
and grasp your hand tight
you can let go for a while
Don't worry I'll keep my hold.

Let go and break down
Fall into a million pieces
When you're done
I'll pick them back up
and help you build back up.

I'll hold you
until you can stand up again
because in my arms you're always safe.

You are my sister
and I love you so dear
and I know its hard for you
To show all your fear

but know this please

I am Always here For you.

I know you
I walked with you once upon a dream
I know you
The gleam in your eyes is so familiar, a gleam
Yet I know it's true
That visions are seldom all they seem
But if I know you, I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once
The way you did once upon a dream

I know you
As I stalked you in the night no it wasn't a dream
I know you
that gleam of fear in your eyes is so familiar
yet you should Know its true
Shadows in the night are seldom all they seem
But if I know you, I always know what you'll do
You'll love me at once
The way you do In my twisted Fantasy

I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss,
And a prince I'm hoping comes with this
That's what brings ever-aftering so happy
And that's the reason we need lips so much
For lips are the only things that touch
So to spend a life of endless bliss
Just find who you love through true love's kiss*

I've been dreaming Of a true love that's mine
Put He was not the prince I hoped would  come with this
He didn't bring me ever-aftering that was so happy
And our lips were the only things touching
Instead of life of endless bliss, I got a life of misery
So to find a love of hell, find it through "true love's kiss"

Don't be so quick to fall in love
Stand your ground and find someone worthy
If it takes forever then so be it
Don't be so hasty, it wont make you any less lonely

Find the man that treats you right
with all the little things he does
Not the man that's so quick to tell you
what you need to hear