I’ve seen my inner lady
dressed in long, flowing organzas
she’s standing on the edge of sea cliffs
or the middle of empty, rolling hills
while pastel clouds flow past her legs
and pain ripples her hair
I think my soul feels stuck
like legs locked in position
almost exposed in sheer fabrics
the touch of sorrow has softened to a breeze
but endlessly caresses my being
beauty brushes my fingertips
and wraps around my torso
but it’s like passing petals on the wind
nothing enters in deeper

So I’ve been reading poems
and crying gently
My soul sore from stretching more than usual today
this week
it’s been quite nice, but
apparently my soul could limber up

May you forever drip golden lyrics from your lips
ambrosia melodies from your fingertips
May dancing never leave your feet

You cannot hunger and thirst for righteousness
until you have hungered and thirsted
To gain in spirit is to lose in flesh
No one learns a deep lesson from a place of comfort

No matter the path I take
Grace and Living water greet me

I dream of you
then think about looking up definitions for love

I held your hands for the first time today
And I loved them
Your palms stretch out
So wide!
So strong!
Wide enough to wrap around mine with an inch to spare
Strong enough to hold them and calm my fears
Like those of a great bear
they complete you

I watch smoke curl up from a brick chimney
as light snow drifts down in the illumination of bright windows
I admire the carefully crafted red eaves
and notice how cleverly the columns of the wrap around porch have been carved to resemble primeval forests
Warm air leaks out from the house and comes to caress my frozen face
I never considered staying in this country until I saw that home
and now I stand
conflicted in my Winter Wandering

I win
I’m free
I’m proud of me

Like a day without music,
A week without birds,
Is a day without Your Words,

Like a week without mornings,
A day without night,
Is a day lived not in Your Sight,

Like a rainbow without color,
A finger without its palm
Is a life without Your Calm

You melt me with your kisses, and wrap me in your arms,
You rock me gently, and I know I am safe from all harms,
Your Peace stands at the door, and Joy watches my heart,
You called me to dance, to teach me a step, You let me be a part

To all the boys I’ve loved
my downfall was your eyes
I looked into those pools of light
Brown, grey, blue, and Hazel
and saw an endless soul
What vision of greatness stretched out before me?
waves of wonder
For each individual is filled with unfounded gems!
the corals of the deep I long to see
To dive and find such treasure is my favorite past time
But the winds of the outside world have wrecked me
Left me broken back upon my shore
in the waters of men
I’ve ventured in the farthest
Great Tsunamis threw me out
corrupted by great cracks
Tremors shudder in deepest pools
and burst!
into the heart of the diver
who learns that pearls can still be found in tranquil seas
But your eyes still haunt me
the hues of adventure leak out of organized, locked away tubes
whenever my nervous fingers find the end of the rope of present projects
and I long for the salt of the deep

in a moment of weakness
comes whispering strength
Who taught you
to regret each last message
to them who said goodbye?
it was not I who left
and I should not leave a bitter taste
upon my own tongue
when all my words were contrived of sweetness

some woman
Most
are born hellfighters
The heat grows and ebbs along with the ******
a good mother hands her daughter a strong hose
tells her not to fight alone
keep your body strong and you’ll survive
to put out many, many fires

I stare down a deep well
Old memories still accessible as a blur of pain
Like an open wound it smells of danger
every time I walk this way
Time has yet to fill it in with the dust and dirt of life in the trenches
And I visit much too often
for things to settle as they would
I’m sure they could
But they don’t
I keep sifting
like sand the memories rub my senses raw again
Long ago I decided it was worse to remember any good or neutral thing about you
For a moment it was a balm
but then like everything else it was just a bludgeon in the palm of the demon responsible for my torture
Anger is just as strong a tie as Love
and sometimes calls back to Her
when the heat subsides and I wonder what irrationality I have committed in those fierce moments
If my resentment be half-lies
so is every infatuation
I have committed to resentment as a safer place

When battle positions are none too desirous, one still must choose between them

What I love to tell everyone is
how Jaye loves me
and that's because I find it
hard to believe that he loves me
that anyone would love
me
is a surprise
every time
but I don't know why anyone wouldn't love  you
or wouldn't love me
and I don't see you different than me
but at the same time
I do
And I know it's that fallen flesh in me
that dissonance
that screams a lack of harmony
that says I'm too ugly
to make it up to greatness
I'm not worthy to reach out and take this
I'm tempted to think it's all fakeness
and though he never speaks a lie
the feeling behind it changes
and I tie my mind up
and my heart runs down the hall
but I've locked the door
I've locked them all
because You tell me it's real
It doesn't matter what I feel
this moments not a day
And I will stay
Until I feel okay
Sometimes it takes a week for me to really know
oh, many words it's takes for him to show
(this ain't no present with a shiny bow)

it’s breaks upon my consciousness
another cycle
reaches low
disappointed I hear the sirens begin again
but it’s slower this time
and I soon stop trying to remember brushing up against the alarm
stepping across invisible boundaries
disrupting security lasers
it was never my fault
just as it isn’t now

A need emerges
a need to be among the wild
lay down and soak among the grasses
fall into an endless sky
crying with release
and the gamey taste of joy
Leave me to the wolves and antelope
Goodbye trees, my old friends
I need to be alone

I’m a lover in a white blazer
Rocking rose pink shades
I’m surrounded by people with ***** hands
and I have no ability to discern the grime of lovers palms
until they’ve brushed over me enough to drown out the cold scars
and I see new stains over my heart

I guess it was consistency
that made your shallowest love
warm my heart the most
it’s nice to have a constant
a backdrop of blue sky
always there
somewhere behind the clouds
It helped me see the beauty of the deeper loves
God loves me like the stars
enduring far longer than your transient
azul atmosphere
most visible in dark
the little diamonds come popping out
twinkling
singing
Always the same beautiful songs
and my heart learns to listen
and sings along

Life is full,
of short companions,
And beauty transient,
a friend,
that is seen for a week,
But loved for a year,
like a gifted rose,
whose petals are remembered,
scent lingering in the mind.

Confidence is the knife
that slowly slips between
curtains of black oblivion
to fling forth
into the world and light
Your great beauty
in Your time

Thank God!
Loving family is not like eating
my house can never be too full of my favorite people

Oh! the glorious sails rising on the breeze
I’ve come this time to watch
and not be seen

I sprang from the mind of God
born into fullness
furnished with untarnishing bronze
and iron weapons

Every time you smile
another flower blooms inside me
You are like water
pouring on a prepared field
Rising up the little plants which were so carefully seeded

I listen to the Lord’s heartbeat
not the ticking of time

I’ve learned so much since you’ve arrived
And it’s all about being calm
and listening to my heart

I’ve lost count . . .
no, I never cared to count
I never do
I don’t know how many . . .
Perfect fantasies I’ve created
now forgotten
A dozen alabaster jars I’ve painted
the roses faded
A hundred jeweled webs I’ve spun
the prism raindrops dried away
leaving dusty silken remnants
All vague reminder of the hopes
The joys I’d wished I had
All dashed
And I feel kind of like a spider that’s never left her corner

What is it that I’ve learned?
what is it that your presence silently tells me?
that inspires me to command the world:
“Love me! For I am glorious!”

I want to know
where your mind falls
when it’s heavy
I want too see what ledges your heart
meets in anxiety
I want to know what draws your idle fingers
and see the devils that play your organs
when you haven’t slept all night
I want to be there
to watch you struggle
until you willingly wade
into my deep acceptance
For Love is a window of ever clear glass
the more pure the love, the more honest the view.

I stooped over the flower
twisting  
rending skin on thorns in my attempt to find a good angle from my phone camera
And I thought “How poetic”
Here I am
inconveniencing myself to photograph
something that is put into images constantly
And yet I battle to do it again  
Like hope, this little bud appears
New today, like possibilities for love

the lion in me laughs
waiting for its roar

Of course I’m salty
I am the Ocean
Incarnate

A son of God
I feel so stretched
Like gossamer cords my spirit is pulled
out as far as a galaxy
Image shakes
the shivers of foundations rising
against the scaffoldings of pain
marble white like fused tectonic plates
glistening from a sea of tears
“What a breathtaking Mausoleum”
I groan in faint and whisper in exhaustion
my fingers bleed from working chisel and axe
but my wrists are strong as ever
As rumbling echoes of thunder
Your chuckle reaches me
And stronger fingers lift my heart
and eyes
“Do not think of finished work,
don’t quell your growth with lies
So you say you wish to die?
For someone craving greatness
that’s strange to sadly sigh
Your life is far from over
not even yet begun
Don’t claim you’ve accomplished enough and with earthly ***** living done

I do not eat poetry
I take it as a digestive aid

It’s raining again
So I sit here with my wings open
letting water run through every feather
spring cleaning for my dreams