I told you
I haven't done this and that
I like breaking my curfew

I didn't ask you to break them with me,
to do those things and make them so memorable

*I didn't expect you to be here in the first place

I used to go home for a smile,
a little escape,
a little love from
vibrations and messages

Now I go home with a smile,
a vast void of solace,
an immense adoration from
stolen kisses and glances

I used to think I'd rather be the one in pain
than to see my lovers hurt
I used to think they are dainty
and aren't capable of sorrow

Now I think I'd rather risk the battles
than to see this fade
Now I think the one I have is too brave,
and is too giddy for tomorrow

I used to be so afraid
I used to be so careful
I thought sacrifice might save them
as I hoped it might redeem me, too

Now I want to break these rules
Now I want to be aggressive
I think I cannot ever let you go
as I hope you would never, too

We haven't been sharing,
Every step we made was lurking
in our shadows that we cast
and all the barricades we built
I want you to see that I am here
For three years now, I have proven
that I am a friend,
I could be trusted
I will stick with you til the end
But when will our end come?
I hope it never will
Joanne,
with you I have laughed,
I have shared secrets
and ***** memories
but all of them are treasured
weak or strong,
real or not,
I am here.

If only you know you are wasting that pretty face,
that scarred body,
that filled mind
and those skillful hands,
your sweet words and fake kindness

If you could only let go of the dark,
I am willing to walk you down the exit
we could be actual friends,
we could actually be true to ourselves

I craved for bolder,
stronger,
badder
than what we had
but what I received
were
much more of an impact,
a combustion,
much
much
more
*cosmic

Sweetness in every hold,
the grasp of you can keep me still
hold me, forever and beyond and up until:
The connection gets stronger
the strings get tighter
and this infatuation float higher
Every move is flagrant -
every touch burns
too much to not be obvious,
Love, sweet love,
cohesive as can be
happiness in every stand
Let us burst in flames
let us ignite in this intensity
until we are nothing but ashes
Ashes that could cover up their eyes
let them shake their heads
let their minds see we how cogent love could be
Routines become us
and we become the universe itself,
and we become the life, the life itself.

What is the point of faking your smiles,
faking your feelings
towards someone you do not even care about?

What is the point of giving time,
sharing laughters
to somebody you do not even want to be with?

What are you even thinking
when you are with me?
Conversing thoughts
and taking in every minute possible
without actually absorbing
all the words I am constructing