Sing me something sweet,

play a nice a beat on repeat,

simple yet elegant,

take my mind off the rant,

take my mind off the day,

do it in some crazy way,

make it spontaneous,

my soul wants it instantaneous,

take me a place in a universe,

dont need any verse,

dont need any burst,

do it in some easy way,

remind me of May,

sunny and in tune,

play it till noon,

take me over like a wave,

something to nod to in my grave,

simple yet intoxicating,

to stop my minds debating,

make it easy and to keep,

into my head to creep.

Sing me something sweet,

play a nice beat on repeat.

You sell your paintings on the street,

I sell my writing on the black market,

we will keep at it till we meet,

I will sing my lyrics on an old carpet,

you will paint until your pictures bleed,

I will write with such a need,

you paint to make things real,

I write just to feel,

we will keep at it even if there is no meal,

you paint to scream,

I write to forget my nightmare, my dream

You paint with colors dark and bright

I write to make things right,

you paint with emotion,

I write what is in sight,

we will keep at it till this festival is revealed to light,

you paint what you see,

I write to see me,

you paint in the parts of this screaming town,

I write to make a lover wear a wedding gown,

we will keep at it till there is no sound.

You paint about me in this dizzy trance,

and I will write about you in advance,

we will keep at it till the end of our dance

and show each other what we have done.

I hate you anxiety
I hate you with everything that I have;
Every tear and scar
Every broken heart and shattered fragment
I hate you anxiety
I hate who you make me;
Timid and reserved
Lifeless and trembling
I hate you anxiety
I hate what you take away from me;
Every smile and laugh
Every happy memory and photograph
I hate you anxiety
Because you've embedded yourself within me so deep
I'm not sure the old me is here anymore
I don't smile or laugh
I don't grasp opportunities
I shake and cry
I hide and make excuses
I can't breathe or function
I can't even pretend anymore
I hate you anxiety 
Because you're ruining my facade;
You're breaking me open and leaving me dry
You're destroying me piece by piece
And I'm too scared to stop it;
Go figure.

“When I was younger my friends and I would all have bonfires every Friday night and we made up fake names for each other that related to our spirit animals and we spoke in a secret language where every word started with D. Dumb, dight? Dokay, de dan dave da decret danguage doo. Dut DI don’t dare do duch dor ‘D’. What letter do you like? V? V’s vinda vunny.”


“I have in this bag here every fingernail clipping of each of your exes. I have in this bag a 14 inch long braid of every hair you ever sleepily smoothed into submission, lying halfway underneath the moon and halfway in a pile of the aforementioned’s sweat. I have blue-tint pictures developed from a baking disposable camera that weren’t taken seriously  when Instagram wasn’t cool. Film clips of them getting ready for work in front of you, where there’s no film because it’s just your eyes and no real memories because your eyes were flickering between open and shut, blinds behind you that winked at them when you were too busy reveling to. I’m not saying that your eyes are blind, I’m saying that they’re blinds. Do you understand what I have in this bag? It’s like a never-ending stream of catharsis, like a rain puddle in November with streetlights swimming drunkenly in it, that reminds you too much of coming home to the smell of gas stoves even though you didn’t live there. A feeling that reminded you of a war you didn’t fight in and shoots through your bones because you never consciously had a skeleton until the magnet in your throat attracted another. All of the things in this bag are shaped like U’s, you know? Or shaped like You.”


“Actually, I like U. I like U a lot, but it seems impossible to speak that way.”

Im done thinking of all the possibilities that could make everything turn from beautiful to shattered.
My heavy heart that once beat so vibrantly is now so very vulnerable.
Vulnerable to the feelings I have pushed so far beneath my soul and terrified they would never reach the surface again.
Time and time again my heart has been shredded and torn so immensely that I wasn't sure it could feel that electric beat ever again.
The kind of beat that sends surges through your veins when your lips collide with somebody else's.
The kind of beat that leaves you breathless.
Then there’s you. So unbelievably beautiful, and you don’t even realize it.
You make me feel that beat again.  
I feel it when you kiss me.
All I want is for you to see yourself through my eyes.
All I want to do is to make you smile.
But underlying it all is how utterly terrified of my heart being shattered once more.
Im afraid of feeling something that is now so foreign to me.
I know I will never allow myself to feel again if I don't let my fears fly on wings of the past.
Just hold my hand, let me kiss you and we can paint the sky together.