I know this girl who's pain inside,
Is so strong its impossible to hide!
She wants to cry almost every day,
Cause all the things that people say!
She tries her best to stay strong,
It's hard to pretend for so long!
She once said so loud and clear,
Loud enough for all to hear;
"I've had enough of being here,
The rest of my life I'll live in fear!
I've tried my best day after day,
I can't continue my life this way!
One last chance before I go,
I wrote this message so you know!"

She carried on one last time,
Until she decided to commit that crime.
She'd had enough it got too much,
That was it one final touch.
She grabbed those people who brought her down,
Everyone in and out of town.
She once said so loud and clear,
Clear enough for all to hear;
"I've had enough of being here,
No longer will I live in fear!
I've tried my best day after day,
I can't continue my life this way!
One last chance is all I had,
I wrote this message so you won't be sad!"

No one heard her quiet voice,
That was it she made her choice!
She ran away the very next day,
Nowhere to go nowhere to stay.
She went so far but still got found,
Lost her life with no one around!
She once said so quiet and clear,
Far too quite that no one could hear;
"I've had enough I'm feeling weak,
A little love is all I seek!
Help me out before it's too late,
Why am I surrounded by so much hate?
It's time for me to finally let go,
I wrote this message for the world to know!"

That was it the end was here,
She made it known, she made it clear!
Everyone was silent and so shocked,
After all her life was mocked!
They made a symbol of a little blue bird,
No one dared to say a word.
She once said with so much fear,
So much fear for people to hear;
**"I hope that now I am gone,
You realise what happened was so wrong!
Next time you say something bad,
Think of the feelings that person had!
I'm now happy and feel so free,
You don't need to worry about me!"

When I look at you,
It's like looking at a tulip on a rose bush.

When I talk to you,
It's like hearing a puppy purr.

When I hug you,
It's like hugging a soft, warm cactus.

And when I kiss you,
It's like kissing a pleasant wasp's sting.

You are the confusion that is love,
You are my tulip on the rose bush.

Memories kept so close at heart.
Pictures, Letters, etc.
But in all Reality, Memories are just a figment of ones imagination.
Holding on to something that time has eradicated for good.
Let it go.
Please oh please, Just let it go.

the snow outside has become part of the cement
and everywhere there are lights
extinguished, renewed
and all i can think about
is the countdown in my mind, repeating
regrets, forming thoughts, and i think
next year, i would like to learn
how to step in time with the music
that plays in my head
and i would like to learn
how to turn it off
i want to breathe deeper
write more words
inhale the scent of knowledge
that i didn't know existed
and feel alone
in a different, more beautiful way
and yet here i am, sitting
with my feet magnetized to the floor
and my fingers typing, hungry
looking for more
than just the thoughts in my head
i'll think more next year, i promise
although that's an empty threat
since all i ever do is think
my point is, i'm here on my knees
with springtime pulling at my waist
summer shining down on my face
autumn leaves still in my pockets
and winter hot on my heels
kneeling down, bowed
before the end of december
saying
please, january
come save me

superb partaking of private delicacies
yet always keeping track of the skyline
keeping senses alert, never fully falling

I allow myself to get hurt each time that skyline changes
not because I enjoy the pain
but there's just something about you I'm not willing to lose, not that easily
so, I swallow ******* and suppress the ego and take the whipping words readily
whatever it takes

there may come a relinquishing moment when I can just give and let it all flow
free fall, like a kite almost

but for now, when shadows may come and place arms round the heavens
****** sun rays from abode and kiss the air into a messy cloudburst
and leave the sky taut with approaching footfalls of fiery thunder claps

I take it all and want it no other way
I accept the paradox fully
the pattern has been set
it is consistent

this mega beautiful skyline over me hovers so discreet in plain sight yet blind to all
I see the veins on the back of your hand, and blood veering sideways towards impossible thoughts
yes
a line upon the horizon tells me never fear
a stringent fire walk simply tests the mettle coil
discoveries in life confirm nobody is alone

as deep and low as it gets sometimes
the highs, oh! the highs outfly the roof
take what you need from life now and from me
yet take your sweet time
until the day I see your eyes reflected in that skyline
and your lamp beckoning on, into this frame

your skyline tastes so good

today i learned that your favourite
colour is red.
(i also happened to be wearing it.)
today i learned that everything i’ve ever wanted to happen
will eventually happen,
but not in the ways i imagined they would.
today i learned that i can love you from a distance,
that i can say it with my eyes and maybe you will
hear me.
(or maybe you won’t but
either way i’m going to keep looking at you.)
today i learned that you care about me because
you told me to put on my scarf so that i wouldn't get cold.
today i learned that love is a language all on its own,
full
of laughter and long embraces and jokes and
spur of the moment decisions and unrequited heartache
and other things
i cannot find words for.
today i learned that instead of being a fool for
not being able to control my heart i might in fact
just be human.
today i learned that every solid foundation was once
a battleground.
today i learned that i could one day maybe trust again but
i am still not ready yet.
today i learned that black friday
is now a thing in Canada.
today i don’t feel so afraid.
today my mother let me read her journal from 1988
(when she was the age that i am right now)
and i learned that i am more like her than i ever
thought i was,
i learned that that might be more of a blessing
than a curse.
today i learned how to use my mind as a camera, that it might
be okay to let so many precious moments remain
undeveloped.
today i learned that i cannot force you to be enamoured with me.
today i learned that i might just have to settle on the fact that my inability to express myself with words has no bearing on how nervous i get when i am around you.
today i learned that there is so much love everywhere.
today i learned that everyone is stunning.
today i learned that there is no such thing as having too big
of a heart.

I can lay
right next to you
and never touch you

I can see you smile
from across the room
without kissing you

I can watch you
leave the room
and resist hugging you goodbye

But sometimes
when I'm next to you
you have to ask me to move away

Because for a few minutes
I let fantasy get confused with reality
and I lean against you during a movie

And it's so warm
your arm and mine, touching
for that minute I'm at peace

But when you ask
of course I make room
Because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable

And if you weren't my friend
I would probably try it
just once, to know what it would be like to kiss you

But ideally,
I'll get over this
and when I am, we'll still be friends

So in the meantime
I try not to think about kissing you
and I only hug you when I have reason to

What I'm saying is
I will do what I can
to keep myself sane and our friendship intact

But just know
that with every look I give
I wish I could give so much more.

I took a seat on a plastic bench in the middle of the mall.
To watch a kid point through a display window
And all I could see was his reflection; His dazzling awe
As he whispers; please, please, please
Daddy’s’ gnawing his lips
And he’s having a hard time hiding his despair
And I want to say, what you look so down about
You’ve got a beautiful child; a clean shave and white teeth
Then I saw her. The banshee
Steve!! Steve, look at what I got
Holding her arms out, bags upon bags hung from her
Skipping towards him letting her shiny shoes clap as they hit the ground
Look at what I got!
Oh he’s in for it now
And I can’t help but smile, as the little boy wonders off
Following shiny lights and hectic Christmas shoppers
Honey, we don’t have that kind of money
He’s tripping over himself, giggling
Dancing with the lights of Red white and green
With his beautiful innocence
And his premature smile.