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Elli Apr 2014
6 feet underground
their bones lie within

a slate on top of their heads
labeling they are the dead ones

sad yet beautiful
that they once roam this earth

we avoid the thought of death
but seeing this made me realize
and acknowledge that one day
my name will be on a slate
and I will be 6 feet underground

so sad, yet peaceful

so why should we wait for tomorrow
when we can do it now?

feelings unsaid, let them be heard
let them know, and let them see
because tomorrow might never come

you will inevitably be 6 feet underground
with a slate on top labeling
you're dead
still editing because i'm not quite satisfied with it yet.
Elli Apr 2014
your laughter
can drown my pain

your warmth can make
this coldness within me vanish

drown me with your love

but what will i do now?
the ocean is dry

the coldness is back
and the darkness surrounds me

you are out of love
while i am still in love

your hands will never be
intertwined with mine

everything is gone
nothing but darkness

the warmth i used to feel
is now filled with bitter cold

the ocean is dry
because you are out of love
while i am still in love
Elli Apr 2014
It was summer,
but her life is stuck in winter
  Apr 2014 Elli
Rl
I've only been on this earth for 17 years
But already had the good honour of experiencing
evil and good from the youth of my peers

My precious vessel, you deserve nothing but the best
learn from my mistakes and make your life rest

One: The acne on your face does not determine how beautiful you as a person
Neither you're weight, height or stature. Your skin a shade of wonder, wear only the (dna) makeup of me and your father

Two: Your body is your temple, not a museum for those who want to feast on your flesh, for those dead eyes are shady and they want nothing less.

Three: Fall in love with everything around you, the stars, sky and moon. The sound of laughter, the rain drops too. Look from balconies and trees at the veins of the cities. And take pictures of people and weddings, savouring silver white memories.

Four: Make your own mistakes and learn. You are allowed to feel pain, there is still blood in you veins but don't let that sweep you away away away on dandelion heads

Five: Dearest, don't worry for a moment what they think; be prepared when they want to see you sink, respond with dimples, sunshine and light. For this is what makes the darkness strike

Six: Finally My girl love yourself, for all that you are and want to be; the music you love, the food you detest, those long family outings and that boy that you like best.

The list could go on and on with verse and song and book and word but Dear Daughter let this be the basis of your life. Carry it and write it on your flesh beating heart. For your flesh beating heart deserves life in it fullest.

©Rebekah Lazarus 2014
Just a draft, but a letter to my future daughter if I ever have one about how to survive life as a teen from a fellow teen. You never know in 10 years I may re- write this.
Elli Apr 2014
I love(d) everything about you
every fibre, every detail

I love(d) watching you
whenever you weren't looking
your serious face, or when you
walk ahead of me
the way you walk
and the way you move your shoulders

I love(d) the veins on your hands
as if they're a road map
do they lead to your heart?

I love(d) the way you smile
and your face
too close to mine
and I would say "stop"
but I love(d) staring at those
brown eyes of yours

I love(d) the talks that we have
late at night
when we are both vulnerable
and you'd tell me things
you've never told anyone
and so will I
together, we'll share,
this secret

And from time to time
I'd sneak a look
and your eyes would meet mine
then i'd pretend it was merely a coincidence
silently happy, that you were looking too

I love(d) when I would act silly
and then you would join me
we'd act silly together, and they would wonder
why those 2 kids aren't normal
but we both know
that being normal is boring

and I am sorry
that my walls, which i built
are too high, too thick
and I wanted to let you in
so I'd try
and try
and try
and kick at them

but they're too high, and too thick
for your patience
were wearing thin

I despised myself
for building such walls

and whenever I am near to giving up
I would remember those times
we spent together

so I'd kick at those walls,
even when you're simply just
touching it,
not trying to break it anymore

those happy memories
ah, good times
good times

but then I'd hear my alarm
at 6 in the morning
knowing it was just a dream

and my walls are finally breaking

but something else broke together with it
realizing that dreams, will only be dreams
I feel like im vulnerable by writing a poem like this. (still editing) the title is "out of love" because the person I'm writing for is out of love for me. I'm expecting the worst, thinking that this person will never want to be with me anymore, so there's a (d) at the end, because I am only thinking about the past, and that it will only remain in my dreams.
Elli Apr 2014
my darling sister
he says
this is what happens you love someone
too much
that you lose yourself
because "you" became a part
of them
and when they leave
they take *you

and you'd feel lost
so lost
that you'd end up taking that one thing
you still own
something only you can control:
death.
Elli Apr 2014
a bullet would've hurt
a bit less than this loneliness
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