Why do we struggle and destroy,
to continue to live,
when it is so much easier to destroy our struggles
and die.

The curve of your spine in the dark,
soft and perfectly shaped to fit just against me like two halves of a whole,
just like our lips, hands,
our hearts,
molding together as if made for one another,
but I chipped,
a piece is missing and no longer do bodies, lips, hands,
or hearts,
fit together so smoothly and I wonder whether you could have ever fixed me?

It comes in waves and surges,
aching in my bones and coursing through my veins,
and I wish I could hate you and curse your name,
but at the end of the day it is I who takes the blame.

I wish I could rewind back,
think to myself stop and think about what is wrong,
because I would see it's not us or you but me
and I could apologise and cry and tell you how much I am sorry but now when the moon is in the sky and my only companions are the scabs on my arms and the ***** burning in my throat my words aren't so clear and my message isn't so simple and I just wish
I could hate you and curse your name,
but at the end of the day it is I who takes the blame.

Hush now,
dry your tears,
I know you wonder how,
it has been going on for years.
Promise me you'll stay,
keep quiet and don't you cry,
Happiness will find you one day,
So please just cling on and try.