A work of art both intricate and simplistic,
a minimalist masterpiece of personality and emotion,
screaming teen heart breaks and whispered memories,
sweeping curves and harsh thick lines crossing and dodging each other to create a piece filled with empty hollow beauty,
embodied as the ****** scabs and old stitched scars painted on her wrists.

And now more than ever I wish I could tell me then what I see now,
because my mind is filled with the colour of your eyes and how they change from bright to a light, almost dusty grey when you're sad,
the feel of your skin when we fall asleep entwined and the smell of your sweaters when we are apart.
And now more than ever I wish I could tell me then what I see now,
because I have realised too late how happy you made me.

each new day that passes i wonder
"if i'd have been there
would you still be here?"
if i had been awake that night and told you it will be okay,
listened to you cry and comforted you until you slept
would things have been different?
if i had supported you,
like you supported me
would my best friend still be with us?

but i guess i'll never know.
i wasn't there,
i wasn't awake,
i didn't support you,
and you're not here.
so i could wonder all i want
but it wouldn't make a difference
would it?

"She thinks way too highly of herself" they say, laughing at another picture that has been uploaded.
But what's so wrong with loving the body you're in?

"He's so up himself" they moan, criticising a tweet about his morning work out.
But what's so wrong with working to become the person you want to be?

"She thinks she's sooo amazing" they laugh, mimicking the voice of a girl who performed in the school talent show.
But what's so wrong with being proud of something you're good at?

"It's so sad, she was so beautiful" they cry, scrolling through the pictures of a girl who was found 2 days earlier, hanging from her bedroom ceiling with a rope around her neck.
But what's so wrong with destroying yourself if it's oh so "vain" to appreciate who you are?

Stop.
It's okay to love who you are.
It's okay to change to become someone you're proud of.
It's okay to flaunt the parts of you that make you smile.
It's not okay to laugh at, taunt, tease, mimic and bully those who appreciate themselves,
but if you do,
don't you dare think it's okay to weep when someone takes their own life because maybe,
just maybe,
if you didn't mock them and instead told them:
"It's okay"
they might still be here,
loving themselves,
rather than sleeping six feet under.

And suddenly my mood drops,
that feeling of wholeness and content vanishes and leaves behind it no trace, as if it was never there.
The void widens and my chest aches,
crawling up through my ribs and spreading across each inch of my flesh and skin until I feel consumed with
e
m
  p
   t
    i
     n
      e
       s
        s
My mind blanks and swirls and gets lost in itself as I try to distract myself from the nothingness that feels as if it is living inside me like a disease,
an incurable illness just waiting to destroy me and as I breathe in
my lungs expand and I become painfully aware of my own fragile
mortality.