Who am I again
Crawling through unexpected obstacles
Trying to escape the bitter reality
Living in the world of nostalgia and melancholy.

Will you stare at the mirror
See through someone you never want to know?
Will you stand over the decision
That you never thought you will win?

And again no one will listen
No one to share
I'm here praying to only You
I will handle myself with care.

Who speak about trust
When it's just a word lose over a lust
Who speak about love
When you know it's nothing like a story of two doves.

This is the reality
This is just a dream
And exist the *'You and I'
A final hope to try
When the right time comes by.

Perched on knotted driftwood
The wind howling past me
Toes buried in moist sand
Lost in the allure of the black briny bay
Endless constellations
All I thought in that instant--
I wish I were among them.

It’s on nights like these
You feel like it isn’t worth
Going on another day
It hurts too bad
When you try to stay
It feels like your only options
Are the razor blade
Or leaving this place

But before you give up
Let me tell you a story

This isn’t an ordinary story
It’s a true story
But at the same time
I’m making it up right now

There was this girl
Her name was Abigail
Abigail was a caterpillar

She was born with many siblings
Lots of brothers and lots of sisters
They were a pretty happy family

But when they were still young
All of her siblings were murdered
As were her parents
Abigail was left completely alone

It took her a little while to get the
Hang of surviving on her own
But eventually she did

It was just after she got used to living on her own
That it seemed like things when downhill again

Abigail liked food. A lot.
She couldn’t control herself
She tried eating healthy things
Like salad and fruit
But she ate so much that even
The healthy food made her gain weight

She ate food
She dreamed food
She lived food
Abigail became obsessed with food

As if being overweight
Wasn’t bad enough
She was constantly made fun of
Because of her eating habits

Abigail’s biggest dream
Was to fall in love
But it seemed impossible
Because she was always torn down

She used to think that
If someone would just give her a chance
They would maybe possibly like her
And someday they might even
Fall in love with her
She was sure that true beauty
Was stored in her heart
Not in how thin her body was

But as the bullying continued
She decided she wasn’t beautiful
Not even on the inside

It was at this point
Abigail decided to commit suicide

She didn’t have pills
She didn’t have a knife
She didn’t have anything that kills
Or anything to take her life

She was sitting in her room
When she decided to die
And the only thing near
Was a silk blanket

She decided that she would suffocate
Herself with the blanket
Slowly, she wrapped herself in silk
She took one deep breath
And she squeezed her eyes tight
As she released that last breath
Her eyes relaxed

But she didn’t die
She opened her eyes
When she awoke
She felt like she was in a new life
She looked in the mirror
Abigail was a butterfly

She had to endure the trials of life
In order to become the beauty
That is a butterfly

In the deepest pain
Abigail found life

Just when the caterpillar
Thought her world was over
She became a butterfly

i did wrong by you
too many times
to count
and now
when i want so much to do right
you want nothing to do with me
i am sorry for sewing you a patchwork heart

So easily broken
What you had spoken
Seemed useless to you
But when I said adieu
You told me to wait
Promising to stay straight
Yet another promise
Waiting to be broken
I hope you have really changed
If not I might just go deranged

I miss your jokes
The way your face would light up
The way you kissed me
Leaving me so very breathless
You were the blazing fire in my life
And just like fire you have consumed me
Drowning in passion and agony
I await your return my love