Turn around.
Extend your hand to the slower,
Lift up the weaker,
For he who shall be first in life,
Will always be last.

A subtle change of airs,
The fall to Earth.
A sweet chill to linger on fingertips.
Fresh roasting scents
Permeate the silence
To replace each passing conversation.
Finally.
The thousand dollar smiles
& whirl of diamond indifference
Fade to music from worlds
Whose language I cannot speak.
Blessed introversion.
It was never a business to be be forgotten.
As the sunsets draw short
So sheds cynicism
& the sickly copper taste of commodity.
Let me vanish into cashmere
& the beauty of written words,
Be carried away on the flicker of candlesticks.
Relax
Into the elegance of stoicism.
I am that I am.
A season unto myself,
Craving the solstice.
A peak of serenity in crisp autumn colors.
Reclaiming the safety of the night,
Mythology dances across the sky
& as the flames from the hearth
Warm my machine cold soul,
Passion burns through the tired facade.
Let me be drunk on these fallen leaves
& drift, thankfully
Into peace.

I swear one day I'll die
Drowning in tears
And I'll look up from hell
On all of those years
Those years that I hated
I hated my self
Those years that I waited
With my *** on a shelf
I waited for you
I waited for me
I waited to die
And I waited to see
What lurks in the shadows
What dances six feet under
What causes the rain
And the lightning and thunder
Maybe I'll die
Drowning in laughter
And I'll look back from heaven
On a happy ever after

How many times will I lie and say I'm fine?
Put a smile on my face and pretend I'm alright.

No one knows the difference. I'm too good to fail.
Who will see through the mask? See that I am frail.

I'm so afraid to ask for help. Too proud to tell the truth.
Yet I want so badly to try. But I'm far too hesitant to move.

Every lie just piles up with the others. Always bringing me down.
I feel like the king of sorrow. The scars inside are my crown.

I wish someone would find me here and pull me from this hell.
I wish I wasn't so proud and afraid. All I want to do is yell.

I'm not sure where to turn anymore, and I honestly don't care.
I hate my own apathy. I'm so tired of the fact that I'm scared.

But oh, how I lie. I pretend that I'm still fine.
As if no pain surrounds me. Truth is, I wish I could die.

I'm falling from a height that I once boasted of
In a sky that is way too clear, but still it looks like rain
And I'm crashing through a glass ceiling that some call love
And aside from the shards in my back, I can't really complain

And the view from each story get less and less breathtaking
So I guess I must rely on my mind for the rest
Each glass floor and ceiling I crash through seems to be my dreams
But they say once I hit the ground floor, it'll hurt a bit less

And the words of the worldly wise ring clearly in my head
Telling me of how death is the greatest adventure of all
But I swear on my life I won't believe it until I'm dead
For what could be more utterly thrilling than a rather long fall

And my life flashed before my very eyes, but I think that I missed it
The commercials in between just made me want to skip the whole thing
The volume was too low and the plot was too slow with few good bits
And I'm much more preoccupied with the crashing and falling

How long I would fall was a wonder beyond comprehension
Whether Heaven or Hell would be at the end, I had no clue
But before I feel the thud of the ground floor, I guess I should mention
If I die from this fall then at least I was falling for you

Ink
Ink is permanent
You can scratch and cross something out as much as you want
It's just a cover
You still know what's written there is forever
It's like saying something and instantly wanting to shove the words back in your mouth
Rewind the moment, then start over
Can't do that, those words are stuck, forever said
Forever remembered
You'll feel the guilt seep through your veins immediately
A million sorries will come gushing out of your mouth
You'll stumble over your words trying to take back the meaning of your original thought
But, if you said it, and they heard it... Doesn't matter if "it's not how you meant it."
The perception has made it's mark
Sometimes with devastating results
Promises of yesterday...
Can forever haunt your tomorrow
Why do we make promises we're not sure can be kept?
Are we all just full of ****?
Get caught up in the moment?
When someone breaks a promise to you, it breaks your heart
Shatters trust
So why do it back?
Spite?
Afraid to say no?
Are the words of confusion coming from in between your ears, or someone's mouth?
It shouldn't be so easy to doubt yourself if you were ever 100% sure
Now life looks like a huge piece of paper with crossed out pen markings, and ink everywhere  No escaping it, no matter how deeply you've scribbled over it
I put my pen down and sigh
Glance at the endless row of pens next to it
And all the broken pencils on the floor
Broken erasers, broken thoughts....
I just needed a pencil..