Sneezing constantly
Nose keeps leaking
Red, it looks like you have a cold
White powdery substance on the toilet seat
Walking around like nothing happened

Used it for some years
You went to prison for stealing from the neighbors
Some time later...
You and your friends ended up in prison
Trying to rob a couple with a plastic gun
Almost got away but not far
Went to prison for ****
You made mother's life miserable
Every time she came from you
She looked like she wanted to cry

Came out of prison
Got a job still lives with mother
But she doesn't care as long as her son is safe
Now you're back on the stuff
A bad addiction you can't shake off
Making everyone's live a living hell
We all accepted you fate
But mother thinks its not too late

You taste like burned coffee and aftermath
But the rush of your hurricane always sweeps me away
So I’ll be the abandoned & boarded-up house
Shaking but still standing
Ever resilient against the whiplashing winds.

That moment the bass drops in a favorite song
Submerging your body from the core inside the musical trance
The first few strides in the open air after days of isolation
Open eyes opening once more as the daylight kisses them
A smile appearing where your lips were caressed by another's
Blossoming as your fingertips trace the fresh tracks of a kiss
The soothing heat that spreads through your body
Bringing a cool breeze gushing from your core within
You didn't have a drop to drink to feel this drunkeness
You sit in silence yet the music is still felt
You were never imprisoned to feel the freedom of open spaces
And your lips have been untouched for days unnumbered
But the memory is still there, fresh as the grass beneath your dreaming feet
As refreshing as the waters of a forgotten stream lightly touching your palms
Bringing a sorely missed kindred spirit back to its other life
Complete in it's entirety and clear in view
Without lacking in touch, smell or others alike
Oh love, it's real, more real than we could ever fantasize.

And that night I was a mechanical doll
and I turned right and left, to all sides
and I fell on my face and broke to bits,
and they tried to put me together with skillful hands
And then I went back to being a correct doll
and all my manners were studied and compliant.
But by then I was a different kind of doll
like a wounded twig hanging by a tendril.
And then I went to dance at a ball,
but they left me in the company of cats and dogs
even though all my steps were measured and patterned.
And I had golden hair and I had blue eyes
and I had a dress the color of the flowers in the garden
and I had a straw hat decorated with a cherry.



Translated from the original Hebrew by Karen Alkalay-Gut.

When I hurt I loose all my confidence
and wow do my tears flow
I loose momentum
want to run away... just go

My constitution is not great
with these doubts that I hate
just makes me want to say goodbye all
for my emotions are in a right state

My inner conflicts
my love for what I do
I don't feel good inside
mother let me see you, for I want to die

I still have the blanket you swaddled me in
I sometimes hold it to my cheek
and in my times of need and insecurities
I treasure that I feel your love within it's tattered fibres

Do not pity me my sweet mother
for one day we will have each other
and in my dire moments of grief
your love and kindness will give me relief


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
By NeonSolaris

© 2011 NeonSolaris (All rights reserved)