I could stand in your arms for always...
To be held by you..
Just standing wrapped in you..
Enveloped in your arms...
All my tension fades...
All of me just melts In to you...
My face pressed into your neck...
Hold me like this forever. ..
No one ever has

E.J.M.

Two years ...
How they've changed my life. ..
I love you more each time...

I still just want to know you better

E.J.M.

These selfish moments are all that I have. ..
I hold them in my heart. ..
That smile still takes my breath away. ..
Hello gorgeous. ..
Just to hold you. ..
Skin to skin. ..
I stretch these moments in my head. ..
Make our selfishness last for days Instead of mere moments. ...
I live the most alive in these...
The brilliant blue overhead. ..
I continue to drown in the topaz...
I've never met a body that fits me better...
I love you...
Thank you for these selfish moments. ..

E.J.M.

I taste so good against your lips...
Taste me again

E.J.M.

Aren't we all searching for that one person to know us?
Just one person to listen in this solidarity. ..
I just want to be heard without saying a word...
I want someone to know me ...
Who knew finding that connection could be so hard...

E.J.M.

On days like this...
I can almost pretend that you are mine...
I can almost forget that she exists...

E.J.M.

I Was Able To Call you.
Another 1st in our world.
As you lay in bed half asleep In a hotel room far away...
Your sleepy voice answering my call..
So nice to hear you as I drive home from work...
Every moment with you is beautiful...
Wishing I was with you as you fall asleep...
Wanting to be there when you wake up...
I'll never have these moments. ..
But I love thinking of you and the possibility. ..
I love calling you and the breathlessness I feel, waiting for you to answer.
I ponder our moments. ..
I love you and I...
Or my perception of us.
Reality would be different I know...
But for us, this is reality...
This is our relationship.
Moments grasped. ..
Seeing you on your way home...
Just spare moments...
I love you in our reality...
I love that we both try so hard, but not enough. ..

E.J.M.

There are so many things on this bucket list of yours and mine...
I want to do them all with you..
We do these crazy things to be together. ..
Go to Ridiculous lengths...
just to see you for 10 minutes. ..
and then we're gone again...
but you always make it better.
make my day perfection...
just that smile..
so we check off these bucket list items each time I see you...
standing in the woods with you is my favorite place...
I want to do everything with you...

E.J.M.

You called to say I love you...
It's been two weeks since I have heard from you....
You called to reassure me that you meant what you said...
That you want to change your life...
You want me in it...
You called to remind me that despite our space. ..
You love me no less today...
You called me to tell me that tomorrow I can call you....
You called me to say I love you...
And I couldn't breathe and my heart is racing. ..
And I love you no less...

E.J.M.

I fell in love as you fall asleep. ..
Slowly and then all at once. ..

John green

Not knowing is the hardest part...
The hardest part of us...
Not knowing if we'll ever speak again. ..
Not knowing if we are over. ..
Not knowing how you are. ..
How you feel...
Just empty space now...

E.J.M.

That's the thing about pain...
It demands to be felt...

John Green

So many things that I want to say to you. ..
The words never come. ..
My head filled with noise until you appear....
Suddenly it's all silence....
There are no words when I am with you....
No necessary chatter...
Just you and I. ..
Just us and them...
The frivolity of words with happy endings...
I don't need them. ..
I just need you...
At this time and this place. ..

E.J.M.

You're the only person that I've never had to fight for....
You've never asked me to prove anything. ..
You take me at face value....
I've never had to qualify my love for you. ..
You always come back....

I'm bonded to who you are with me...

E.J.M.

In the Pouring rain...
As the wind blows...
Lightning flashes in the darkest indigo sky...
These are the moments I'm consumed by you....

In the sunny heat of the day...
Floating in a cerulean pool...
Sipping a Pina colada...
These are the moments that I miss you...

In the dark of the night...
With the window open...
As I curl up in my cornflower sheets...
These are the moments that you cross my mind...

In the rising dawn...
At 3 am ...
The silent waking hours...
These are the moments when I wonder where you are...

In a crowded room...
Full of laughter with people I love...
Enjoying life...
These are the moments that I wish you were here....

I think of you in all the moments of my life....

E.J.M.

The things you do in life are insignificant. ...
Do them anyway....

E.J.M.

That moment when the light catches your eyes. ...
You are all that I see....

E.J.M.

You're imprinted on me...
Heartbeat slamming into mine...
Beads of sweat fall on my cheeks...
I get so lost in your eyes...
I love you like this...
You staring at my eyes...
never breaking contact....
Your breath against my neck...
Your hands holding me...
I could just touch your skin for hours...
tracing little hearts across with my fingers...
I always shatter ....
flying into a million pieces that you collect...
and put back together. ..
I'm safest with you...
in your arms...
I'd follow you anywhere. ..
Trust given completely...
I just stare into those topaz eyes and hope to catch my breath....

E.J.M.

I get these butterflies when I see you..
That first moment when your eyes catch mine...
And I'm gone...
Putty in your hands..
That mouth against mine..
Stealing my breath. ..
Your teeth on my ear...
Making me gasp for air...
I'm overwhelmed by you...
The tenderness yet urgency of us...
I love you... as I scream your name
I ****** against you...
I can't breathe...
I've lost all feeling in my legs...
My skin like diamonds ...
All shimmery and bright...
That liquid feeling of euphoria..
Angel kisses on your stomach. .....
Brushing your hair out of your eyes...
all I taste is you...
I could do this forever...

E.J.M.

I haven't seen you in a while...
When I do... I should just tell you to leave...
I know where we lead...
Yet we'll just do this time and again....
The good never gets old...
When I'm with you , I can't tell you to go..
This is all that I want...
Just to be with you here in our moments...
it only hurts when you go..
Like that sting of a band aid on my skin. ..
just once and it's done...
To tell you to leave would be more like a slow constant seeping of my heart fading out...
A bottomless ache in my soul. ..

So I'll just do this time and again with you. ..the sting is better than the ache...

E.J.M.

I Want To Forget I'm Missing you...
Want to curl up and cry....
On a day with rain. ..
forget that you ever came...
Forget the lies you told...
forget my heart in all its pieces. ...
just lay curled up in sobbing brokeness. ..
Trying to forget the essence of you in my life...
I'm waiting for rain...

E.J.M.

Why are we so hard?
You expect so much of me...
I try to be whatever you need...
And I'm left with this aching inside me...
I only want you happy. ..
So why do you keep me?
I just let you go. ..
Now you say you need me?
What about me?
I patiently wait in agony...
Today it's too much...
No explanations...
Just take it...
You won't care if I go...

please stop me...

E.J.M.

You asked me to come...
So I did....
You left me standing there alone. ..
How long does one wait for their love?
I can't be expected to stay here all day. ..
Waiting on a hope and a memory. ..
How long would you leave me here?
I waited and you never came...
The sadness overcomes me...
Physically,  I left..
But internally. .. I'm still standing here...

Waiting for you.....

E.J.M.

You are my drug. ..
My high...
So high. ..
Now you've got me crashing. ..
The lowest low I've ever known...
The disapointment is so palpable I could cut it with a knife...
You failed me on this one...
We've all got our demons...
Somehow your mine...

E.J.M.

My skin starts tingling at the sound of your voice....
My stomach drops out like on a roller coaster...
My face gets red...
I get hot all over....
breathless. ..
all from the sound of your voice...
This isn't really a pleasant feeling.....
Very overwhelming....
My feelings for you written plainly on my face....

E.J.M.

The trouble with us...
We could already be over and I wouldn't even know...

E.J.M.

75 moments to love you...
75 over this great span of time...
somewhere around 18 I loved you...
at 45 I told you...
I tell you every other time now...
mostly I miss you...
in 75 moments you became an integral part of my existence. ..
Funny how 75 moments can change a person. ...
what I want is different now...
you and I with all those moments. ..
I could spend 75 more and we'd still be the same together...
I'd still cut my hands up every time I touch you...
you'd still kiss me better...

you'd still go home to her and call me in a week...
missing me...
wanting 76 moments. ..
I guess I do to...

E.J.M.

Moments with you are better than our moments apart...
How is it possible to love you this much in a matter of moments?
Our entire premise is faulty...
In two years I have spent snatches of space with you ...
Mere glimpses of you...
Yet know you deeper than anyone....
All those times... if added up would be less than a month I suppose. ..
So long... Yet so infrequent. ...
I know your deepest soul..
As it meets mine in the moments...
Just tiny sparks ...
My life with you marked in exclamation marks....

E.J.M.

I wonder if you think of me in these absent times...
When days go by... do I cross your mind?
When we don't speak. ..
When I miss you everyday. ..
Is it the same?
I miss the sound of your name on my lips...
I wonder if I'm an after thought. ..
I can't live this way...wish days and weeks apart...
Without a word. ..

Yet I continue to...

E.J.M.

I can't un know what I know about you...
I still feel sad about the knowledge though...

E.J.M.

Moments ticking...
Time goes by...
I dream of dawn... orange red glow on the horizon. ..
Wind blowing. .
Fragile petals falling. ..
Caught in the breeze. ..
That sense of weightless falling. ..
That loss of control. ..
Decisions that are out of my hands...
The greenest grass..
The bluest skies...
That whipping wind...
I feel you in it...
Waiting for words that will never come. ..
Sun on my shoulders. ..
That flicker of sadness. .
A meloncholy nostalgic feel of you...

E.J.M.

You and I....
That wordless glance...
The underlying tension. ...
The enchanting softness of your voice...
The way we try...
the butterflies still fly inside me at the sound of your voice. ..
never harsh words...
Always perfectly understood. ..
you know who I am inside...
without saying a word...
you complete the brokenness of me...

For two years I've loved you...
I'll love you always ....
for us....

E.J.M.

Darkest purple dawning...
Brilliant stars beginning to fade...
That quiet before daybreak. ..
The birds beginning to wake...

I sit and think of you...
I think of us...
I wonder how you are?

In the quietest time of the day...
My head is the loudest...
When no one is around and silence surrounds me....
My head fills with thoughts of you...

That beautiful indigo glow on the horizon. ..
I wish you were here.... I always wish you were here.....
in the silence. ...

E.J.M.

I Love you... And That Will Have To Be enough...

E.J.M.

I can not save everyone....
I acknowledge this...
Does that give me the right to give up?
To not try?
To exonerate myself from empathy?
I promise to keep trying despite this...
If I make one difference...

If I change one life...
If you smile a little brighter tomorrow. ..

It's worth all the trying in the world...

E.J.M.

All that copper skin...
You're so pretty...
Those **** topaz eyes...
So perfectly pretty. ..
Your raven hair...
Intoxicatingly pretty...
when I'm with you..
Is it any wonder you make me feel pretty?

E.J.M.

Loving you away...
While knowing I can't have you
Hoping always. ...
Anyway I can...
Despite the knowledge. ..
Despite the truth of us...
That sad feeling that settles on me in your absence. ..
Some days it weights on me a little more

E.J.M.

That fairy tale...
The mythical creature....
What we are....
Two unicorns in fairytale land.....
We love what will never be...
We have what isn't real...
I'll never wake up to you .....

God ... how I love unicorns

E.J.M.

Today I went to see you...
You told me to come by...
And I got away and drove there...
To where you were..
To where you told me you would be...
You were busy..
You were working as I watched the concrete pouring. ...
I knew you couldn't see me....
I sat and watched for a while...
My heart all a flutter ... butterflies rising up....
I finally traipsed across the mud around cars and work debris. ...
I wrote you a small letter....
I left it on your windshield. ...
Men in hard hats staring. ..
I walked to your car like I had every right. ...
I don't. ..
I have no rights when it comes to you...
I watched you work and I drove away ....
I was there like you asked...
I wanted so much for you to see me.

E.J.M.

Time.....
Such a strange concept. ...
One of which I had no concept of before you....
Now every moment counts. ..
Every ticking second. ..

One too late and I miss you....

that grasping of sands in an hour glass.
Halting THE falling....
Trying to gather them up in my hands.....
I can watch as time fades away. ..
Our time is few.....
Seconds ticking off.....

can't ask you to stay. ....

E.J.M.

The essence of your name ....
ignites inside me...

The way you grin....
Sets fireworks off within...

The beauty of your soul...
Burns me whole...

One touch of your skin...
I can't keep this inside me..

I literally glow when I catch sight of who you are.... I love the you that you hide

E.J.M.

We meet in our place every time...
Amidst the Pines and scrub...
In the dirt..
In a forest full of sun...
All these trees and no shade...
Our place reminds me ...
of Robert Frost and the path least taken
We leave our mark in this place as time goes by
And seasons change...
Like the mark you leave on my heart each time...
A meloncholy happiness that is us...
I always get a sandspur when I see you...
That small invasive stab to remind me what we are...
The beautiful green of the trees and the wind in your hair...
The brilliant sun upon my face as we kiss deeply...
I take us all in and treasure these moments. ..
Never knowing if we will have them again...

E.J.M.

You are the glue that holds me together...
The glue that I need when you say forever...
You hold me in your arms and make the world melt away...
Today we made plans for another day...
It's those plans and ideas that keep bad at bay...
I kiss your neck and imagine a time...
A time far away that we'll never be...
You're the glue that I need...

E.J.M.

The darkness of my life...
The day to day bs....
wow..... overwhelming
Love knowing that the person I built my life with could leave in the blink of an eye....
We stand divided... I guess....
Glad I work so hard. . For what?
Us?
Our life?
Sides taken.... I still pay all of the bills...
House rules...
Keep talking.....

E.J.M.

You say things will change....
For the better....
For us to be together....
To talk every day...

I want to believe you....
but I know things won't....

Change

It's so hard to alter the direction of one's life...
The complacency becomes so easily done...
You will stay where you are...
because its easier...

I'll either continue to stay or eventually leave you....

Change...

E.J.M.

You are the reason I write....
The reason I feel again...
The highs and the lows of me...
The ins and the outs of my deepest soul....

You brought me to light.....

You are the joy in the simplest of things...
the butterflies inside...
You make my heart smile as no one has...
You put it there....

I write these for you...

Our concrete and woods...
Our wordless hellos...
The way you embrace me...
like your holding on to my heart....

I feel these with you....

The fragile skimming of your mouth...
The roughness of your jaw...
The complexities of all you make me feel....
The utter free fall....

I learned these from you....

You are everything I never knew existed...
So much that I never could feel...
You are the completeness in my day...
The contrast to my light....

I love you for these....

You are the reason I write....

E.J.M.

If I didn't like it
I wouldn't have continued to do this for a year and a half....


these words took away all of the broken ones before it....

E.J.M.

I dream of sitting in bed with you...
Curled into one another...
Your lips pressed against my shoulder..
Just being with you in twilight...

Those moments when the day ends...
Those last few seconds...
as the day departs and the night encroaches....
To just be....

I don't need words...
Or actions of any kind...
I want no plans...

I simply want to be with you in silence...
Inaction....
Together for the quiet darkening moments...
Listening to you breathe....

Knowing that you'll be here when I awake...

E.J.M.

We make this harder than it is....
All the turns and twists of us...

The intricacies of the lives we live...
The parts that don't fit into our world...

The simplicity of us
is this....

I love you and you love me

There's so much more and so much less...
But in the end, this is why we are....

The how we are...
The where we are...

It all comes back to that moment that I loved you....
And the moment you wanted to hear it....

It could all be so simple....

E.J.M.

Glinting amber topaz...
Ebony orbs...
black satin lashes....
against sepia skin...

you look into me...

I've never seen such undescribable color...
The rawness mirrors your intensity....
So dangerously intoxicating...
treacherously forbidden....

I drown in you....

Our gaze locks...
I'm done in moments...
Drawn to the darkest parts ....
of you against me...

The henna sparkle...
Topaz shimmer....
Promising me destruction....
Feelings that I've never known....

Only to come back again...

E.J.M.