Sweating, hurting;
I've been working all day.
Lifting, heaving;
I don't mind, I'm strong.
Chopping, gripping;
I can take it, the pain is nothing.
Carrying, moving;
My mind starts wandering.
Raising, digging;
I say "I'm so tired..."
Pushing, straining;
Isn't that how you feel every day?
Shaking, holding;
It's cutting into my hands.
Don't deny it. You know you want to quit.
Kneeling, struggling;
Just let it go, you'll feel so much better.
Trembling, groaning;
Drop it, **** it! Let it crush you!
Seizing, hoisting;
I will not.
Hefting, bearing;
Yes, you will. Let the weight crush you NOW!
Shoving, throwing;
No! You can't do that! That's not fair-
Falling, relaxing;
I'm so tired, but now I can rest peacefully.
Sleeping, dreaming;
I've thrown my past away.

Another year is gone,
Not feeling as strong.

Another year goes by,
Makes me want to cry.

Another year I'm bereft
Of everything left.

Another year I say:
*Take my pain away...

My new love is gone.
Sadness and darkness are here.
I am alone now.

Someone please, help me.
I'm in little broken pieces
On the ground.
Like a doll,
Angrily thrown by
A grieving mother;
A mother that lost her little girl.
I am that little girl, I suppose.
In some form or another,
My mother has lost me;
So has my father,
And my sisters and friends.
They don't know where
The happy, lovely me went.
I've been replaced by pain,
Depression, and dark thoughts.
I wear a painted face,
Just like a doll,
That hides my pain and sorrow.
I don't want them disappointed
In the new me;
The one that has consumed
All of the good and love,
And replaced it with harm and anger.
Someone please, I'm begging you.
Shatter me against the wall.
Make me the target,
Because I deserve it.

I wish I knew
How not to be sad.
How not to be angry,
And how not to feel pain.

I wish I knew
How to be happy.
How to enjoy life,
And how to leave the past behind.

I wish I knew
How to trust.
How to love myself,
And how to forget the harm.

I wish I knew
How to open up.
How to fight the dark,
And how to get rid of anger.

I wish I knew that
Not everyone is nice.
Not everyone wants to be friends,
And not everyone is kind.

I wish I knew that
Not all things are free.
Not all love is real,
And not all hope is true.

I wish I knew that
Not everything is joyful.
Not everything is beautiful,
And not everything is light.

I wish I knew that
Memories don't fade.
That words sting,
And scar for life.

I wish I knew
That my skies wouldn't clear.
That my demons would win,
And that I would give in to the darkness.