wake
drink
rinse
repeat

now let me expand on the
ideas i have presented
above

wake- from the probably
nightmarish scenario
where you are being
chased by a blood thirsty
****** who has been stalking you
stalking YOU for perhaps several months

and now attempt to walk up those stairs up up
up into reality again
you've made it another night
my dear
you've made it back
… congratula…tions….

drink- look upon the
cupboard filled with delicious
treats that will take you out of
your own mind and into a realm of
calm and stupor and happiness that
fades as
quickly as
it
came

so don't look at that cupboard
anymore because it's not
for you my dear
at least not for the mornings
my dear
sweetie look in the fridge
open that door
and find some things grown
from this earth
they will do. they won't do. but they will.
juice
juice
vrrrrrr

rinse- stare in the mirror
and pinch all the parts
you want to evaporate the
way those beautiful vegetables
get crushed in the machine
in the mornings
doesn't that relieve all ills?
it does it does crushed smashed <_+][
';'l'l;l;'''''''\~~~

now stop looking into that soul
crushing little thing
sweet little thing
and focus on washing the blank expression
off your pale face

and now repeat- repeat-re pe atttt
r e p e a t
until you start to feel well

or maybe just go sneak something from that
delicious cupboard

heavy home
disillusioned abode
home is heavy
and yet it has a sense of comfort
for these misplaced affections.
pillars white as the shame they
hide. stars bright as the days I've
tried.

i despise these symmetrical lines
they are not art
they are NOT ART
i want them off take them off why are they still
here
i want them gone////
this symmetry is unappealing
you are being the sluttiest *****, my dear.
everyone knows why you pull down your skirts.

nothing stays hidden for long.
/////

take me from schoolgirl
to lost soul to
sad little sack
in
30 seconds or
less.
don't slow down.
take me everywhere.

you want to feel thunder? well I have your
light show right here baby.
I have it right here. reach into my mouth
and grab what you please.
i will talk if you ask. i will tell you what
i can bring myself to say.
(i am still afraid of words)

remember that time when it got to be
too much for me
so you held me in your arms
on your bed
and told me stories that made
everything fade but made my heart pound
and my eyes burn and and and
it all exhausted my body
and it was like you had no regard
for
yourself
as long as i felt better
because i cried so hard and i was so grateful
for that release.

~I'm always here to make you cry~

The most romantic words I've ever heard.

lust lost
lust found. in the corner of your pocket. the shadowy corner hidden in the crook of it.
right in the crook of it.
laser beams traveling across these vast lands and burning little paths
little paths in the deadly mountains.
who has disappeared here?
who was never remembered in these parts?

lost your luster
you've lost it, honey. it doesn't become you anymore.
those black coarse fabrics ain't gonna hide your shame anymore.
******* you misogynist pig. you want some of this/?
you want some of this prime *****?
bet you never had any the same as this.
i'd sooner be clawed apart by those wolves in
those dark woods
than give you a taste.
run along, little lamby.

some days i just can't sit still
heavy chest
the thoughts are amplified
can you
hear
them, sugar/./

sound check.k.kkkk

seems good enough.
so let's start this ******* show.
oh, the actress drank herself into a stupor? too bad. the show
must
go
on.

Lets analyze
When did the symptoms start?

When did it start
Inflammation of the heart
Swelling of the lungs
Dryness of the throat
Sweating of the palms
Shortness
of
breath

How did the caring
commence?

Gradually
The way the waves slowly
Dull shards of glass into
Sand?
Or all of a sudden
The way that wave can drown
A man?

When did the symptoms begin?

sitting on your lap
curling up small.

i attempt to dive into your chest
swim into your heart and make a
corner there for myself
to hide and keep warm.

I wanted them too-
the nightmares

what are you punishing yourself for?

Everything.

head swinging off your star covered
               bed
we are swimming

*I miss the way you taste