Deana Luna

Deana Luna Jun 2013

water

i am strong like the ocean. i can overpower you with my salty seas. push you to the edge.
drown you deep within my vast waters you'll be lost.
overwhelm you with the sensation of my sultry tides.
~~pulling you in
pushing you away~~
turn you into a red eyed addict.
i'll keep you coming back for your dose.

but i am weak like the tears that stream down my face.
unable to hold their place
inside the curve of my eyes.
cleansing the poison from my hallow bones
failing and free falling to their premature yet certainly long overdue demise.

i am the water. every changing. all around you. swimming in your darkest fantasies.

within reach, yet never within grasp.

~~~ ~ ~ ~

don't try to ****** me. i am a force of nature.

Deana Luna Jun 2013

dolled up

red lips. flushed cheeks.
you're getting all dolled up!
she looks at me. really looks at me. sees through the heat.
smiles knowing my insides don't match the pretty picture. looks at me.
like i am something fantastic. spun from fairytales.
sewn in glittery patches across ratty old jeans.
her gaze hits me. you don't need your hands to slap.

the silk is unraveling and revealing imperfections. she stays. she watches.
more heat comes from her gaze than my fires.
the air is thick. mouth drops open. eyebrows scrunch.
incoherent sounds release from my lips. she sits. observes the show.

she takes me in. all of me. even the parts idon'twanthertosee.
and writes. and listens. and examines.
she unravels my fantasies and spins her own story.

Deana Luna Jun 2013

Moonbeams

She is in her moon tonight.
Exhaling the waves and singing love songs. (songs she was taught at a young age and still did not understand)
We haven’t met yet but I wait for her in this moonlight.

I watch her as she washes her
hair in the white beams
and cries tears of loneliness.

Let’s stop writing about the truth— let’s tell of lies.
Let’s escape this place, darlin.
It’s ****** us dry.
Let’s find a new place to thrive.

You’re a hot mess.
I know.

Deana Luna May 2013

pack light

if i don't feel something anything
really ******* soon
i am going
to *******
*******
explode.

quick. light it. breathe. exhale.
feels better. just
keep breathing in
the medicines.
just keep
numbing
your mind.

forget about the past
and forget
about the future
just think about the task at hand.

stashed away in the bottom drawer is the
stash
take it out. open the door. pack. light.
b r e a t h e
~~~~~~ ~
e x h a l e

there. now you can escape.

Deana Luna May 2013

studies of love part 1

what is love? what are its flavors?
have I tasted any of them?

Is it a 32 scoop sundae or a single scoop of vanilla?
I do not want plain flavors. vanilla bores me.
Does that mean I don't want love? not if it only has two ingredients.

but I don't want 32 scoops either.
I do not want to get bloated from love.
Uncomfortably full.
I want a rare, bittersweet, rich, dark chocolate love.
An expensive luxury. But something money can't buy.

I want decadence, romance, lust, but most of all-- I think I want love.
I am done trying to control my cravings.
I want the things that scare me the most.
******* adrenaline ******.
******* *******.

I want your art. I want your heart.

Deana Luna May 2013

bad/bath thoughts

Am I selfish if you are all I seem to write about?
Always on my mind. Am I good at nothing else? Is that it?
Are you easy to write about? No. Yes. Who knows.
I know you are easier to write about than I am. That's why I don't write about myself.
Because what could I say?
I have nowhere to begin.

I am entrapped. Embodied.
A cleansing experience and a curse.

What am I? Isn't that one of the unanswerable questions.
How was college?
Who is she?
What are you good at?
What are you good at?
getting overwhelmed at the sheer immensity of life.
How the **** does no one else feel it?
I ask too many questions.
Topic change.

I am the sea. I am tumultuous.
Never stop running form one corner of the world to the next.
Never stopping.

I write my poetry in paragraphs when it's written down and in short bites when it's typed.
I wonder why that is.

It's urgent. This is urgent!
Thoughts like to shoot and confuse. Be my muse. Too loud. Can't tide me over.

I think this Mary is laced cuz my heart is beating… how does that rap go?
Hmm, Tyler?

There is a picture in my head of a happy summer blonde with the perfect matte red lips. She is making fun of me. She stares at me and teases me into a pit of madness. She always watches over me. She is my heart and she wants to hurt me. Masochistic pig. Sadistic wolf. Pink is my favorite color. I try so hard to be pink. Pink tries so hard to be me.
A little disgusting ******.

Blackberry currant.
Pink *****.
Popping pink.
"ck" is my favorite sound.
****. ****.
Pretty little *****.
****. ****.
I want you to pound my pretty pink *****. pop.
That little **** is going to get ****** so hard tonight. Pound you with my ****.
Please?

Surprise me, baby. Don't be like the rest. Because I know too well what to expect.

How did I come from such a beautiful creature? How do any of us get here, and why must I suffer more than they?
Nothing has ever been simple with you. Everything has always been so hard.
Beat beat be still my
pounding head. Before the floodgates open. She can't see me weak.
No one can.
But I am selfish and I'll stay.
No more running away.

Deana Luna May 2013

As you watch

sweat dripping down my inner thigh
I can feel your tongue there.
and there
and there.

beads are trickling down my ******* and I can feel your hot fingers
touching me there
scratching me here
molding me to your will.

languid, dripping, indulgent. those are the words I like.

it feels like ******* mexico in here
******* mexico
lying on the beach
being devoured by the hot sand
searing my flesh to the core
until I am nothing but black ash
darker than your shirt. darker than the black ink of your tattoo.

darker than what I think my soul resembles.

but I can feel you, baby. I can feel your hands on me. I can feel the noose around my neck.
I can feel it all. I can feel
your breath
against my neck
making me hotter than the ******* mexico inside my room.

there is wet everywhere but my throat.
it drips down
like the wax on my fingers
drip
drip through my mind

fire burning my soul and my skin
can you feel the heat, daddy?
have i been good enough for a sip of water?
or will you leave me parched and dizzy. begging.

smoke rings are piling up and I can reach through them to touch you
can't I? can I?
I can feel everything I can feel it all
tell me talk tell me what
what is going through that mind
those eyes
what is behind those eyes? what dark thoughts? could they be any darker than mine?

I doubt it. you say.