I’ve been wanting to cut it shorter for a while,

but was worried about how it would look.

I wouldn’t be able to hide behind the tresses anymore.

No more veil for my tears.

But how long could I live in my sheltered little world?

I’ve finally began peeking past my rose colored curtain,

so why not have a physical representation of that?

Just a couple snips and it’s gone. Just a few chops and it falls.

Deep breath. This feels good.

This is good.

Fresh start.

To a new beginning.

I like being in charge sometimes.

I want to be choked and spanked and ******* and ****** hard.

I want to wear a strap-on in bed.

I want to be used.

I think about spanking you until your *** turns red.

I want to be slapped and called a ****.

But I melt when you call me babygirl.

I swoon because you’re a gentleman.

I smile when you’re cute and girly.

I want to cuddle and watch Disney movies.

I like having hot wax poured on my body.

I like to play with the candles on the table at fancy restaurants.

I like ice too.

I like to watch your pupils dilate when I look at you a certain way.

I like when you look at me in that certain way that makes me lose my breath and giggle.

It calms me down when you call me owlet when I’m stressed.

You give me warm and fuzzies when you call me your best friend.

Maybe I like you.

So maybe this isn’t so complicated.

*Maybe it’s really simple.

My heart beats so quickly when you say my name.
Perhaps its because I am still in awe that your lips are uttering it.
It sounds better rolling off your tongue than it does mine.
Deana
You care for each syllable as if it were your own child--
slowly nudging each one forward to help it grow and blossom
Deana
Hard consonant melts into warm caramel from your hot breath,
The vowels making an 'ah' shape like the ones you make in my bed.
So softly, you whisper in my ear and build my heart up to the sky--
I'm floating in my own name; floating in your smooth voice.
Deana
Pronouncing it with such care that I am at once startled and soothed.
Deana
Never stop saying my name.
Deana
Deana
*Deana

The earth can not understand just how much
I love you
because the earth can only understand what we do,
and I do not understand this love I have for you.
It transcends all bounds, lights me up to the tips of my toes
and pulls me back down to the ground.
It shoots out of my mouth like words spoken too fast--
anxious I love yous, and clambering hands.
And my only conclusion is
that I want to be with you forever
Our wedding on the beach with white candles
Your mom gives a great speech, we throw back our sandals.

I find it hard to believe
that you found beauty in me
when I didn't even see it
in myself.

Chicken
is
a
fun
game.
*don't stop