My smiles are fake, but my tears are real
The pain you make is the only pain I feel
You are my reason, you are my course
You are my razor, you are my force
Because staying with you us drags me through the mud
But it saves me the pain
Of spilling my blood
So go ahead
**** me slowly
But surely
Because I've just bled out
Everything
And I'm done
So ultimately
*I am dead

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

I love you and I thought you knew that.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

What happened to the plans we made?

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

Your mother called me today.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

You never did your half of the dishes.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

Thank you. For everything. I mean it.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

Why would you do this to me?

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

*******. You took everything away from me! Everything!

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

I'm sorry. Please come back.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

My sheets don't smell like you anymore.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

Not even drugs make me happy anymore. You took everything. I hope you know that.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

I miss you so ******* much.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

I love you. I do. I always will. I promise. ****.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

I miss you so much.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

Your sister is shutting off this phone and I don't know what I'll be able to do if I can't call you.

beep
beep
beep

Hey, it's me. You know what to do after the beep, so do it!

beep

I miss you so ******* much. I visited your grave today. I can't believe I've survived fifteen days without you.

beep
beep
beep

The number you have dialed is not in service. Please check the number and dial again. Good-bye.

beep beep beep*

I'll hear your voice again tomorrow. I love you. I'll see you soon.

morning cigarettes
never will be enough to
ignite a lost soul

Once upon a time
There was a girl
She was no different than any other
And if your life moved to fast
Like the rest of the world
You would miss it
Because you have to understand...
This girl had a secret
A dark secret
One she kept hidden away because
She knew if she let it out
It would comeback to haunt her
Like it did

This girl wasn't the prettiest
Or the skinniest
Funniest
Or most popular
And every time she looked in the mirror
She felt like crying
Because the reflection she got
Isn't the one she wanted

This girl
She was to afraid to use the razor
Because she wanted to believe
There was another way
Somehow, someway
That she could let go of her pain
Open up
And let it all go

But she couldn't do that
Couldn't let them see her weak side
They would'nt care anyway
So she had to push it away
Paint that fake smile on every time she walked into that building
That stupid building
With the sign that read:
We are glad to report this is a bully free zone
*******
It's all *******
Because if its not bullying
To crush a girls hopes and dreams every time she opens her mouth...
Then what the hell is it
And if its not bullying
To call a girl
Fat
Ugly
Stupid
Following it up with just kidding
Then what is
Has the definition changed?
Because if it has then tell me
I want to know
So I can tell that girl
That she's fine and needs to get over herself
Just like everyone else
Just like everyone else

So she did
She pushed away her pain
And acted like it was all
"Ok"
But it wasn't
It wasn't ok
And every day of her life
All she wanted was to fit in
To be considered cool
To have one guy look at her and say
She's beautiful
But why would they?
Why should they?
How can any guy love her when she can't even love herself

And so life went on
And she continued to go to the place she feared most
A place where she was judged on something as simple as
The music she listens too
And when she try's to save herself
From there torture
Everyone seems to suddenly disappear
Those people who told her they love her
Aren't there to help her
So she fights her battles alone
But you see
One person can only fight for so long
Before they give up
And it's just a matter of time before
Those words they promise are about that boyband she likes
Those words
Gay
Stupid
Ugly
Retarted
***
Loser
And worthless
They slowly begin to be about her
And they tell her
We like you
You're funny
And yet
When she stands in the line for lunch
And they think she can't hear them
That she's to focused on the food in front of her
The food she's trying to decide to keep down
She can hear them
And it hurts
It ******* I N G hurts
Because its then when she realizes
It's all a joke to them
It's not about the music
No
It's a joke to see who can break her first
But the jokes on them because
She beat you to it
If it was a game
She won
Because the thing is
She's already broken herself
Because its not so much what they say to her
It's what she says to herself
It's the fact that
Every time she looks in a mirror
She see's a worthless *******
A ******* trying to fit in
With works of art
And she can't do it
But she try's it anyway
Wasting her life on people
People who could care less about her
Wasting her life on people who judge her for the music she listens too
Not who she is

But they don't understand
That every time this girl goes home
Every time this girl decides its worth it
To live another day
Its because of that "gay band"
And that "gay band"
That she doesn't even know
Make her feel more loved
Than any person she has ever met in her life
Because when she started to slip
5 pars of hands caught her
5 hero's saved her

So go ahead
Tell her how pathetic that is
I know you want to
But just know
She's walking on thin ice
And anyone of you could be the deciding factor for her
So do it
Test your luck
It's all a game to you
And in all games there's a winner
So
You lose
She lives
You win
You push her over the edge and
She dies

That's twisted and sick you say?
Well that's life
And maybe you should of thought of that
Before you tore her down
All her dreams
Hopes
Everything she is
Its all gone
Because of *you

Never say remember
That means that it’s the past
Never say forget
Because memories will last
Never say forever
That word is a lie
Never say nothing
And never say **goodbye

You never expect your first kiss,
And you never forget your last.

Our first and last was the same-
You held me; I sat on your lap
On that movie theater seat
As a horror film played

I felt your touch,
And tasted your lips

But now all I taste
                            is
                            pain