Do you ever want to peel back your own skin?
to walk along razors edge bone and muscles scraping bare
where sin and flesh dance in a defining din of noise.
blood soaking the parched river bed
And i am the crossfire
sheltering,screaming, pain so sweet
but the skin never left
so silence the screams
and smile for the crowd

I come from a place
Directed by a man with no front teeth
Who exhales sticky sweet smoke.

I come from a place
Where sobriety is not a default.
Where bad attitude is justified by the number of weeks clean.

I come from a place
That holds words like
methodone clinic
weaning
tapering
crank

I come from a place
where my mental health
is less important
than his.

I come from a place
Where my mother shouts at me,
"It's his fifth week, you have to expect something like this!"
"He's not in the right state of mind right now, let it go!"
"Temper tantrums are to be expected!"

I come from a place
That he leaves.
He goes to

the office
the gas station
get coffee
Because the initials N and A have
become ***** as he becomes clean.

I come from a place
Where addiction is the only "real" mental illness to them.
Where the sounds of pills falling down the drain
are matched with tears falling down a tired woman's face.
(Make that two)