some nights,
i answer the phone
in my sleep

some mornings,
i wake up
with no memory

I'm on the highway to Know where
First class ticket in my pocket
And I'm going to go there
Absolutely nowhere

So if you need me
That's where you'll find me
Letting sadness take the lead
Letting fear take the road
With my hand on the blade
Fingers down my throat
Taking the long way
*On the highway to Know where

You went to that place
                         Where her flowers used to grow
Spilling hot, salty tears countless times
                    Left the air always smelling like the sea
Even years later
                       You can still hear her mermaid laughter
                   Echoing through the trees
Grown over with weeds now
                                      Sweet memories resting place
Much like the aching hollows of your heart
                   Anger rushes through the quiet solitude
           Urging your knees to buckle
Digging your hands into rich, wet earth
Sobbing great hiccuping gulps through mournful wails
                        True pain is that of loss
A circle is finally cleared
       Exhaustion floods the moment
Head heavily laid where she rests
                   Clouds hum by above the canopy
Digging into your pocket
Smiling softly now
            Grasping at incubating bleeding heart seeds
A hole here, a hole there
                                   She'll grow again

*For the dead never truly leave us

I see a door,
not closing like before,
opening with grandeur and grace,
inside a beautiful place,
that I have seen a million times but never laid my eyes on it,
so I wait and sit,
surrounded by black,
till a hand reaches oot and gives my face a smack,
"we are all waiting and you keep us hung up like you always do,"
a warm touch on my now red cheek,
its my Naru and she's smiling bright,
begging me to come into the warm light,
I take the steps to go through the doorway,
a perfect end to a tragic play,
everyone I see is smiling at me,
with drinks and cigarettes that dont ****,
this is my death, my thrill,
"do you believe in an afterlife?"
I believe in a door opening to the loves of my life.