People are so eager to say,
"You are enough"
to shove,
"self love" down your throat.
but when you're tossed aside,
by everyone,
how can I believe that I'm,
deserving of love

I used to roll my eyes,
when people said love is dead,
but as I wipe the tears away,
I'm afraid hope is too.

I'm stuck for eternity,
for infinity.
Following this illusion,
this intention.
Chasing the tide,
and following the current.
Hoping it will lead me back to you.

ADMIT IT!
I screamed at my reflection.
YOU'VE BEEN DEAD SINCE THAT DAY
I yelled at the tear stained face.
When he left you died.
The distraction that was keeping you happy,
left.
You have nothing.
Now you're so empty.
So numb that it hurts,
just admit it.

Control is an illusion,
that I thought I could master.
I tried hard and fell harder.
my happiness took a hit,
and my motivation took a plunge.
Here I stand realizing,
I haven't felt alive in a long time.

I was starving,
yet I couldn't eat.
Little did I know,
I was deprived of happiness,
and that was just the start.
I had been hiding,
in work, food and lies.
Telling myself I just needed a nap.
I need happiness, I need to speak,
I have to write.




slowly

                  my
                                 hunger





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