Damaged

Damaged Dec 2013

And the way she said
I'm fine
Was a little to quick
A little too quiet
And a little too often

Damaged Dec 2013

There just might not be a 17th birthday for me

Why don't you want to have a party or anything for your birthday?*

**Because it won't be a party for me it'll be a funeral instead

Damaged Dec 2013

Monsters, they live inside of me

Have you even gotten to your room at night and just start crying?
Not necessarily because you're sad,
But more because you're worn out and tired.

Tired of the drama.
The lies.
The day to day *******.
One tear turns to two then three then four.
Before you know it you find yourself clenching a pillow to your chest begging
PLEASE

no more

But the voices in your head they don't listen.
They keep spilling out words and attacking
And kicking
And screaming.

forcing themselves to be heard

And my heart,
Oh my weary heart.
It begins to pound deep in my chest.

PLEASE GOD MAKE THEM GO AWAY. I NEED SOME REST

But the do not seize, they just keep attacking as they please.
So I find myself rocking on the floor.
Head clamped between my hands.
maybe if I cover my ears they'll leave
But who am I kidding.
I can't hide.
I can't sleep.
I can't get away from the monster inside of me.

Damaged Dec 2013

I'm just tired

Why are you so tired you just had two extra days off of school**

The thing is though,
The tiredness I feel can't be relieved.
There are not enough minutes, hours, days, months, or years of sleeping that could cure the tiredness I feel.
No amount of sleep will get rid of the weariness I feel.
You see, although I do not sleep much because of the never ending nightmares.
I am more worn from having to drag myself out of bed every morning.
Paint on the smile.
Pile the coverup on my wrists.
My heart feels so heavy.
My mind is overwhelmed.
You see, no amount of sleep could cure the tiredness inside me.

Damaged Dec 2013

Problems

You see that's the problem.

The problem with bein the strong one,
The one who's always there for everyone else.

Once you need someone,
No ones there.

I've spent my whole life always being the one people lean on, and now as I look around when I'm at my lowest point... I can't find anyone

Damaged Dec 2013

Used

Your words pierced through my heart like a knife*

You really don't give two ***** about me do you.
How stupid was I to be fooled.
Again.
I thought maybe you'd change.
Decided to let you back it.
But now you're just another mistake.

Stop I don't wanna hear you talk about this. I just wanna have some fun with you

How could I be so stupid to think you actually give a **** about me?
How could I be so stupid to trust you in again?!

*I mean nothing to you

Damaged Dec 2013

Kay Kay

I know I say it a lot,
But you're my strength.
And I just wanna thank you for that.
For holding me and just letting me cry.
You didn't try to tell me it would be okay.
You didn't try to calm me down.
You just let me be sad.
And sometimes, that's all I need.
I need someone to hold me when I'm feeling low,
To remind me that I'm not alone.